OK, I'm not going to try and make this seem any easier than it is. Sometimes chanting is so darn hard. There have been times over the last week that I've just had to force myself to sit down and chant.
Why is it hard? Because I'm getting at the core suffering of my life. I am getting down to the real basis of sthe pain to bring it out and release it forever.
I don't even know why it's there...sure I can say it comes from this thought, or that thought...or a certain thing going on in my life, but really I know it is deeper than that. Buddhism calls it fundamental darkness and everyone has it, I may have mentioned it in this blog before, but it deserves to be repeated. We all come into this world with karma...both good and bad...and when we chant a lot we get to come face to face with it.
So this last week there were many days I just made myself sit and chant and I didn't even worry or think about the thoughts in my head...I just chanted. My prayer wasn't even important at that moment...but I knew I was connecting and changing something deep in my life. I persevered!
Once I moved through that really hard part I was able to resume my prayers for my friends, and for our leaders - I chant for them to have wisdom. I chant again and again from the bottom of my heart to be able to change in any way necessary for me to be happy and to be an example that this practice works...to break through the hard shell of the lesser self and reveal who I REALLY am in all my Buddha glory!
I am moving my life onward and upward!
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