Here we are...

A year later..and so much stronger.

Think of how much I have changed.

A year ago
...my marriage was finished, had been finished for some time...but I was too scared to do anything about it. My whole life was on hold. It felt like it wasn't my "real" life...that somehow my "real" life would start only when I'd gotten the courage to make the changes I knew I had to make. But I didn't have that courage last year...no...not by a long shot.

...I had recently regained some of the weight I was always struggling to lose...it was going up...up...up when I started this blog.

...I was hobbling in pain, and determined to solve it...

...I was a "closet" writer. I had dreams of publishing and writing many books to help people. I'd seen how Buddhist parenting worked with my own kids, and what marvelous men they are blossoming into...all without ever hitting them, and without them fighting with each other. I'd seen how powerfully this practice impacted the work environment...and all my relationships. I always felt I had so much to share...but when I sat down to write a book it felt contrite...forced...and I lacked any confidence.

What I did have was hope. I had a practice that had seen me through life for the last 24 years...and it was time to really put the wheels in motion and challenge myself to chant two hours a day.

And because of the deep desire to have my life impact others...I started this blog, and took you all on my journey.

Through this year we went through some additional heartbreak...even Buddhists cannot avoid problems...or death. And as you know, my sweet Mommy died in November. And after that I realized with new wisdom, that my life was going to end too...and I couldn't keep it on hold any longer. I really could not keep my life in dress rehearsal mode any longer. So I summoned the courage, based on my prayers to access the power of the universe within, to put the divorce in motion.

And ironically I was laid off of my job...but the courage didn't fade...the courage had become a part of my life. And even as I am writing this I do not know exactly how I will carry it all off. I just know that I will.

And over the year...the heartbreak became less and less..the sadness still comes every once in a while but it is not as deep and I continue to challenge it with chanting.

And I stand here today with a whole new life ahead of me...one without pain...I hope!
...One where I live permanently seventy pounds lighter...
...one I share eventually with a new partner who will delight me as much as I delight him...
...and a blooming confidence in my own ability to live the life of my dreams as a writer.

It is no coincidence that my favorite publishing house...the one I always knew would be best for my works...Hay House of course...just established a self publishing arm. It took exactly a minute for me to decide to publish through them, Balboa Press.

So a new journey is beginning. After one year I have an entirely new life. I will still be blogging...and inspiring more and more and more and more...