Hi….this is Surashree. I am a part of Bsg family from
last year. I belong to a small city Raipur.
My relationship with my parents has a void as both my parents and grandparents
were working and maids took care
of us. As parents did not have any time I always held a grudge against them also felt alone and frustrated. Also from childhood I
was a stubborn person and a loner who avoided people. When I completed my schooling all
these qualities surfaced even more . My sister was facing the same issues. She
suffered from obesity and was always
irritable. Till date, she has no friend. Sometimes she used to speak very
harshly. And I’ve seen her crying too. My sister and I always had problems with
each other. I am also suffering from a
skin disorder. Overall, We were facing deep relationship karma within the
family.
The first person from our family who encountered the
Nichiren Buddhism was my elder sister. She introduced my mother too. I went to Nagpur for my Graduation. More than
studies to get away from parents. When I was in Nagpur, Didi and Maa
both started practicing Nichiren Buddhism and each time I returned home on vacations, I always noticed
some improvement in my family environment. Everyone started taking
responsibilities rather than blaming each other. I saw my sister becoming
calmer and mature; and my mother became more serious about the family.
Still being a stubborn person, I used to fight repeatedly
blaming my parents for never having time for me. One day my mother said sorry
to me for not spending much time with us. My mother told me that if you want
your karma to change, accept the hard realities of my life. This is only way
that move towards happiness. After this, our family bonding grew stronger , though She also told me about the practice, but I
ignored it.
Almost 8 years after
this incident, When I saw huge victories in my mothers life, I thought of
giving this practice a try. I seriously wanted change in my life. I was
struggling with my office responsibilities, and I was tired of being alone also
very confused about the course of my
life . As a girl in mid 20s, I thought It is better to spend some time
with the family so in spite of others
opposition I resigned from my job and returned back to my hometown. I felt
very positive that everything will be good from here
on-wards.
I'm happy to report that it was then when I started practicing.
I came across lines from Sensei Ikeda, ”You
must have impossible dreams and then the courage to challenge them so that you
can prove the power of the Mystic Law.” Buddhism is the mirror
that perfectly reflects the depths of our lives.” Soon I realized that I never put any efforts in my
relationships. I always behaved selfishly.
It was due to my own karma that I have suffered. And Buddhism is the way
through which I can change my destiny.
Gradually, My relationship with my mother became good,
though my relationship with sister and
father was not that great. I determined change the relationship with my father.
He is a very calm and fun loving person.
He had issues with me due to my stubborn behavior. He always wanted us to pursue music as career as
we hail from a music family. It was only
after resigning, I started working on small stage shows with my father
and helped him emotionally. After sometime, he started trusting me and our
relationship grew stronger.
One day while studying, I came across gosho lines from the
chapter, On Prolonging Life, “One day of life is more valuable than all the
treasures of the universe, so first you must muster sincere faith.” It explained how we can have an influence on
our environment by practicing Buddhism and chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. I
realized avoiding problems will not help
me. So, I strongly determined few things:
First, I would no longer hold my life back through fear and
insecurity.
Second, No matter what, I’ll strengthen my faith as much as possible for
which I started reading about the concepts or books related to Nichiren
Buddhism as much as possible.
Third, I determine to always put the concept of “ten worlds”
in my daily life and to constantly check myself not to fall towards lower 4
worlds. Anytime time if I feel I'm spending more time in any of the lower
worlds, I try to pull myself out from the situation and try to work on myself to
become better. Sometimes I fail, but my practice gave me the strength to try
again.
Fourth, I decided that I will have no hatred or anger
towards anyone. Whenever I do, I confess it front of the Gohonzon and pray to
give me the strength to overcome these negative feelings. Also, If I am angry
on someone or I dislike someone, I pray for his/her happiness and their Buddha
nature to emerge. I’ve experienced that if you chant for the happiness of the
person who made you unhappy, the environment works for you, and everything will
fall into place making your situation and those relations smoother than before.
Sensei says, “Dialogue requires heart-to-heart connection.
You can have dialogue in your heart with anyone anywhere at any time, living or
dead. The first step to touch another person's heart is “Appreciation”. Chant
to develop appreciation. The path of the Bodhisattva lies in developing and
expressing appreciation. Appreciation and joy multiply our good fortune.
Complaint and negativity erase it”. After reading these lines, I took my fifth
determination that I will always try to do heart to heart dialogue with
everyone around me. I’ll appreciate every effort made by anyone surrounding me,
no matter who that person is or which community he belongs to.
It is my observation that Even if any practitioner applies
simple & small concepts from the book, “Basics of Buddhism”, One will
surely receive tremendous benefits, conspicuous and inconspicuous both.
I got married last year. As a newly married, I started
facing adjustment issues in the new environment, which even lead to arguments
between me and my husband Saurabh. The drastic lifestyle-change became a huge
challenge for me.
My practice gives me the courage to see the obstacles in life as an
opportunity to change my karma. Instead of blaming others, I began to feel more
confident in coping with problems in life and learned to live more creatively.
My life has changed and become better since I started practicing this Buddhism.
My husband and I are now great friends. He helps me in household chores and
other things. sometimes, in office or in personal lives I face
difficulty I remember Sensei Ikeda’s words, “Even if things don’t
work out the way you hoped or imagined, when you look back later, you’ll
understand on a much more profound level that it was the best possible result.
This is tremendous inconspicuous benefit.”
I am happy to report that Environment in my family is much
better and peaceful than what it was 12 years back. We all have very good &
friendly relation with each other. I determine that I'll pray for my sister’s
health & happiness and I’ll struggle and change my family karma completely.
I’ll win no matter what…..
Lastly I would like to thank all my district members who
always encouraged me whenever I needed. I would also like to thank my husband who always supported me . I thank my mom who introduced me into this practice
and changed our lives completely.
