Lighting the Lamp of Hope from Florida !

This egret is walking along St. Pete Beach on a beautiful day recently. I think he was posing for me. 

On Sunday I went to my local SGI Center and chanted for 4 hours for the Lions of Justice Festival, 50K youth gathering across America on September 23rd. 
I chanted for the youth of the world to realize their power to make the world a better place...and to be happy...
I chanted...
...for all the youth who are going to the festival to have a breakthrough in their lives...
...for all who registered to overcome obstacles and be able to attend...
...for safety, great weather, and operations to go smoothly...
...for all who are supporting and chanting for this festival to have breakthroughs...
...for every member everywhere to feel an incredible connection to the power within their own lives when chanting to the Gohonzon...
...and to have conviction in my own Buddha Nature... 

It's been a while since I chanted that much daimoku at one time. I sat right up front and supported the people who were leading the chanting. I love doing that...listening to their rhythm, and expanding it.

And, of course, yesterday, Monday, I was energetic and focused. I launched a project at work involving teamwork and leadership...and it flowed naturally. Later this week, on my birthday, I'm going to my High School reunion feeling healthy and happy with that Florida Glow. 

When we chant for others we are also chanting for ourselves. We are all interconnected. We are all one being. When we chant for those who are giving us problems in life, we are opening our channels of compassion and expanding our capacity to feel joy, love, and happiness. Who can you chant for? How can we each expand our capacity to love and be loved? 

No matter where you are in life, or what's happening, you can always launch a new rocket of hope into your life. Chanting nam-myoho-renge-kyo infused your life with the life of the universe...and chanting is YOURS. For FREE. 

Join with your fellow SGI members, make a fresh determination. Refuse to give in to ANYTHING that is getting you down. Your life IS the Buddha. Chant to feel this with your life at every moment. Let's all be radiantly happy and victorious together! 

"Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is like the roar of a lion. What sickness can therefore be an obstacle?" 

Nichiren Daishonin. From the Gosho Reply to Kyo'o

This is the Buddhism of CHANGING our Karma - not just Learning from it ~

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The other day a practicing Buddhist said to me "Well I guess I just have to keep going through this until I learn the lesson from it. That's what life is, learning lessons from our suffering." and I said 'That is not what Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism is all about!" 

Yes, I know the Gosho says 'Suffer what there is to suffer and enjoy what there is to enjoy." (From Happiness in This World by Nichiren Daishonin.)  But the Gosho "Reply to Kyo'o" states: "A sword will be useless in the hands of a coward." 

As Buddhas we can be fearless! 

I do not think it's important to "learn from our karma". Of course we can learn from the causes we make, and stop making negative causes...but that is not the same as having the belief that we have to repeat karma over and over again until we "learn" from it."

I think it's important to change it! 

When I first began chanting in San Francisco I got a job with an abusive, screaming, swearing boss. He wasn't swearing and screaming at me, but that was not something I ever wanted to experience again. Every morning, I chanted a solid hour of daimoku to CHANGE THIS KARMA forever...and never, ever have an abusive boss again. I chanted for this boss's happiness, and the happiness of all involved. After chanting this way for a significant amount of time I gained the strength to stand up to this man and stop him when he abused my coworkers. 

Eventually, that job ended and I had a series of wonderful bosses, and lots of business success. Some time later that karma resurfaced, but not in quite as bad a way. I got a boss who drove me crazy with her anxiety. At this time I did not say to myself "Wow, this Buddhism doesn't work, I can't believe I got another boss who makes me suffer."

No. I just dug right back into my practice, made a new determination and chanted with all my might for her happiness, for my success, for my future and all my dreams. At the time, I really wanted to move from San Francisco. This boss ended up giving me a substantial severance package - enough so that I could take the holiday season off to be with my babies and then move back to Chicago to raise my kids close to my Mom in the good old midwest. 

Did I "learn" from these instances. YES! I learned I can change whatever karma I want by chanting. I learned I am a powerful Buddha. 
I did not have to learn "why am I attracting this into my life?" No! I just learned to change it! 


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As Daisaku Ikeda writes in the October 16th, 2015 World Tribune, in the essay "Making Hope", page 6:

"I do not believe that people are powerless. The philosophical tradition that I embrace, on the most fundamental dimension - that of life itself - teaches that each human life partakes of the limitless life force of the cosmos. The same power that moves the universe exists within our own lives. Each individual has immense potential, and a great change in the inner dimension of one individual's life has the power to touch the lives of others and transform society. Everything begins with us." 

Lighting the Lamp of Hope from Florida

With Melanie Warner, Author of Defining Moments: Coping with the Loss of a Child

I've just returned from the Compassionate Friends Conference, where I met many other parents who've discovered new missions after the loss of a child. Compassionate Friends is an international organization dedicated to bringing grieving parents and siblings together to learn and be inspired. 

 With Alan Pedersen, Executive Director of Compassionate Friends, holding my book "Our Forever Ben, One Mom's Letters to her Son-in-Spirit and his Poetic Replies" 

                                  With Mitch Carmody who presented various kinds of after death                                                                communications (ADC)

With Jeralyn Glass, who plays crystal singing bowls

I keep moving forward, looking for more people to reach, more lives to touch. Every morning and every evening I center myself on chanting to reach the most people and to help them alleviate the deepest of grief by connection to their loved-ones-in spirit through the written word. I chant for kosen rufu, and I pass out Nam-myoho-renge-kyo cards wherever I go. We are, all of us, making the human revolution we need to make to make this world a better place. 

Now, I'm following up on the leads to write articles and speak at conferences...and to keep doing my Grief to Relief work. I'm not sure where my journey will lead...but I keep chanting, keep studying, keep taking action...keep my eyes open to make a difference. 

I've received some emails from those of you who are suffering, and frustrated. And the wisest words I can give to you are the same words our mentor Daisaku Ikeda repeats often: "Don't Give Up!" Whatever you are going through, GO THROUGH IT, and get to the other side. Don't eradicate your fortune by complaining. Replace "WHY ME?" With "Why Not?" and get moving, take action! Keep chanting, and realize you are chanting TO your life, not begging for favors from something outside yourself. YOU are the Buddha. YOU are the Buddha. We are all here to lead the world to happiness through our own actual proof. If you're not getting actual proof right now, demand it in your prayers. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is like the roar of a lion, what sickness can therefore be an obstacle? Chant, study the Gosho, en-courage others, chant every morning and evening! Do Not Give Up!!!

Faith Equals Daily Life!

Faith Equals Daily Life is a term we hear often in this practice. This week a reader emailed me to ask what this means to me. 

For those of you new to this blog, I'm a 32 year practitioner of Nichiren Buddhism, and I live my life to rid the world of suffering. I'm a proud member of the SGI, but I do not speak for them. I blog from my heart to yours. 

Faith equals daily life means: 
chant about everything! 
Chant about everything. YOU are the Buddha. YOU tell your life what you want by praying to your life every single day. 
Each day I take all my cares, worries, hopes for my life, and for the happiness of all around me, and I chant every day...FOR every day. I pray. 

As Daisaku Ikeda writes: 


"Prayer is an attempt to merge the inner workings of our life with the rhythm of the universe. When we pray in such a way, all the workings of the universe will function to protect us and the endless cycle of painful reality will be transformed into a cycle of victory and happiness. Prayer is the key to open the door to unleash that infinite human potential within our lives."
Daisaku Ikeda, Ikedaquotes.org

I begin every morning with at least an hour of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Every once in a while I have to rush out of the house without chanting an hour. But I make sure to connect in my daimoku, no matter how long I have to chant. 
Today I chanted to be in rhythm all day long, and to feel connected to that rhythm. I chanted to meet key people for my future, and to use this day to further my work of kosen-rufu in action. 

It was a joyous day! I spent most of it at a large, gorgeous retirement community connecting deeply with the staff, and exploring the ways my workshops can help their residents, their staff, and help them with marketing. It was a blast.  

Faith equals daily life means that every single day is a reflection of your faith and determination. Faith equals daily life means our faith is not shut off in some little box that we only take out every once in a while. No, our faith IS each day...our determination for each day...our live, Well-Lived...every single day. Chant about it all. Chant to connect life to life. Realize that, as Daisaku Ikeda says: YOU are the protagonist in the great play of your life. Enjoy it!!

Lighting the Lamp of HOPE from Florida (How to be HAPPY after great loss)

My sons, Aaron and Ben

I spent the last week and a half promoting Ben's Memorial Mile. As always, every morning and evening, I chanted with deep appreciation for my life, and for everyone in it. I chanted to connect, heart-to-heart, with everyone I met, and to make this fun event a huge success with many people having fun and raising money for a good cause. 

Ben's Memorial Mile is my fundraiser/festival that raises money for Schizophrenia Research and Suicide Prevention. It will be held on June 17th, 2017 at 5:00pm at the Downers Grove North High School's Outdoor Track in the Western Suburbs of Chicago. You can register or donate at Bensmemorialmile.com. If you donate, please drop me a line at chantforhappiness@gmail.com so I can thank you. All proceeds go to our 501(c)(3).

As many of you know, My sweet son passed into the non-physical world almost two years ago when he was 22. He developed a mental illness at 19, was in and out of hospitals for almost three years, and finally ended his life when he was stuck in the hospital and there was no place that would take him, no halfway house...no place for him to go. This country's mental health system is broken. I tell his story in the hopes of making a difference in the world of mental Health. 

Right after he died, I could feel the release of his soul. I could feel the mental illness was gone. Poof. I could feel his spirit soar. And I read the translation of Gongyo in the back of the sutra book every morning. I was just drawn to it every day. And it opened the door to my constant communication with my Ben, which is natural, and easy. Anyone can communicate in this way. I can teach you. 

Here's the story:

The Lotus Sutra, our gongyo book, states on page 21 of the The Liturgy of the Soka Gakkai International (this is the translation of what we recite twice a day): 

"In order to save living beings,
as an expedient means I appear to enter nirvana
but in truth I do not pass into extinction.
I am always here, preaching the law...
At all times I think to myself:
How can I cause living beings 
to gain entry into the unsurpassed way
and quickly attain the body of a Buddha?"

It's a longer passage. You can read it yourself in the back of every sutra book. 
The meaning is clear. We are Buddhas. We live eternally. We are always here preaching the law. 
We are not just Buddhists...we are Buddhas, right here, preaching the law, showing actual proof for our "assemblies," (friends, family, everyone), and when we recite the Lotus Sutra we are Buddhas speaking the words of the Buddha. And, as these words state...our missions do not end when our life on earth ends. We are always here preaching the law. 

Ben had, and HAS a great mission...otherwise, he wouldn't have been born to me. Right now we are helping people go from grief to relief by teaching how to communicate with our loved ones-in-spirit. Is this a Nichiren Buddhist concept? President Ikeda talks about communicating with Josei Toda every day. That's the only example I know of in our writings. I know it's my thing. And my gift to teach others. 

Do you have to believe in this concept to practice and get benefit from chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo? No. I share this because it has helped me, not because it is officially part of our practice. If it doesn't appeal to you, please continue practicing, studying, doing shakubuku and getting benefit from this wonderful practice. 

So I sat down and wrote to my boy. And he wrote back through my hand, as he does every single time I write to him. 
Here is an excerpt from my book "Our Forever Ben. One Mom's Letters to her Son-in-Spirit and his Poetic Replies." (Available on Amazon.com)

Dear Ben, 

  

Soaring above us all 

free and flying 

you got your way 

you ended your torturous road 

you are released 

you are released. 

And now, you will have all of us

chanting for you 

as your mission continues, 

right here, 

right now, forever. 

  

I will cry until I run out of tears. 

  

I cry in gratitude that you came to me 

that we shared these twenty-two years 

that we had all those laughs, 

and all those tears, 

and all those laughs. 

  

Oh Ben, 

Write through me 

laugh through me 

live your happiness all around me. 

  

My dear boy, I know you never meant to hurt me. Not ever. 

  

Ben, maybe you’re sitting right next to me on this Friday ~ 

right here by the pool. 

What do you have to say?

Your Loving Mom 

   

Mom, 

  

I did it. 

  

I meant to do it. 

~ at the time ~ 

and I knew it would make you sad, 

but somehow I still had to do it. 

I had to obey my mind, my legs, my feet, 

my incredible surge

of strength and courage. 

I could not say no. 

It had to happen. 

And this story is not yet written,

is not yet told ~ 

but will be. 

My life, and death 

HAVE meaning, 

Not HAD. 

Dearest Mom, my closest friend, 

my absolute love, don’t despair. 

I know you,  

you,  

you 

will create a life of meaning, 

of love, 

of warmth and creativity. 

  

  

Together we will live on 

Together 

    we will always live on 

  

Enjoy the sun 

  

    Enjoy this day 

  

            Enjoy your life. 

  

                            Your Forever Ben 

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Beautiful. Everyone can do this. It's natural. Easy. And, when I'm missing Ben, he's right there at the end of my pen. His words are a constant source of encouragement for me.  

All last week I spoke in front of groups of people about Ben's Memorial Mile...about Ben...about suicide prevention and mental health. My determination to turn poison into medicine is coming true at every moment. Ben's life and death HAVE meaning, not HAD! Soon I'll have an online course to teach everyone how to do this. If I can do it, so can you! Have a great day! 

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo !

  

  

  

  

  

Overcoming Challenges and Accessing the Power of Our Own Lives!

Hello! Here I am in paradise...and life has come along with me. I still have the same types of challenges within myself and I still have to overcome them no matter what. I am a Buddha. I made my vow, (and remake my vow daily) to show actual proof so that I can rid the world of suffering through my own life. I live to inspire others. If I (this common mortal) can be happy, then so can anyone. Anyone. I use my practice of Buddhism, and chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo every morning and evening to accomplish my goals and rid my life of negativity. 

I am a regular person. I am no better than anyone else. But maybe, because of my deep suffering, because of the depression I have battled throughout my life, and the great loss I experienced when my precious son Ben died, I feel that I HAVE to prove the power of this law through my life now more than ever. I prove this power over and over and over! The power of my own life, my own Buddha Nature through chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo to the Gohonzon never stops! I can access happiness anytime, anywhere. 

And it's not easy, is it? We all have our devils, our demons, they are the voices in our heads that say negative things like "See, you are a total failure," or "There you go, messing up again!" Or..."Why chant? It's no use anyway!"

We all have these voices in our heads. Linda Johnson calls those voices our "Evil Twin," and she says they NEVER TAKE A VACATION! I love that. So we must chant every day!

And the main thing is to keep going. I've had some challenges to overcome...and it's easy to go down that slippery slope where you chant less and less, and then it is next to impossible to chant. That's when we have to say "Enough!" That's when we need to put our cell phones in the other room, set a daimoku (chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo) target for ourselves and fulfill it. 

One of my challenges has been nights of not sleeping. I've had insomnia in various forms all my life, and it affects how I function during the day, and it affects my mood a lot! Last night I DID sleep, and woke up this morning and chanted for two hours. 

My prayer today was to bring back the spring in my step. Bring back the hopeful feeling of anticipation. Lighten my heavy thoughts and bring me sunshine in my mind. 

I chanted for all of you, and for Kate's brain. I pictured her brain glowing in health. (Many of you are familiar with Kate Randolph, my Buddhist mentor through this blog. She is my best Buddha Buddy, my inspiration, my heart. This is her 40th year of practice, and she was recently diagnosed with a glioma brain tumor. Thank you for chanting for her!) 

And now, here I am writing to you, and feeling like a breath of fresh air just came from within my own life. 

This is the power of Daimoku. This is the spirit to stand alone and not give up. This is what brings on kosen-rufu and will bring 50,000 youth together in the US on November 18th, 2018. 

Whatever you are going through, please don't despair. Please use this practice to bring light and life and happiness to yourself, and your loved ones. Please VOW to show actual proof through your life and inspire others to chant and to be happy. You can be happy, your families can be happy. YOU are the Buddha creating Kosen-rufu (a world of peace and respect for all) and YOU make a difference every single day!

Go Buddha Go! 

If you'd like to submit an experience for this blog, please email me at chantforhappiness@gmail.com. 

THIS Daimoku is changing my karma NOW!

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What kind of daimoku (the chanting of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo)
changes our lives? 
The answer is ALL kinds of daimoku - 
the chanting of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, the mystic law, changes our lives and changes our karma...

But I have a question. Do you sometimes chant with all the best intentions while thinking "I don't know why I'm doing this...it's just one more time to chant but I don't feel it, and really, I'm feeling kind of hopeless?" 

And the first thing I'll say is "Congratulations for keeping your promise to yourself and showing up to chant. THAT in itself will change your life. 

So, I've been thinking about the quality of my own chanting and I have something I want to share with you. (As you know, I do not represent the Soka Gakkai, I belong to it, but this is not a Gakkai publication. I love the organization and have been a member since 1985. And I started this blog in 2009 to overcome my own heartache, and to show, through my own example, that anything is possible when we base our lives on the Gohonzon.( 

And lately my daimoku has been very strong, 
because as I chant I am thinking:

NOW! With THIS Daimoku I am changing my karma. 
Now this very Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is THE Nam-myoho-renge-kyo that is changing_____________________________on the inside of my life. 
Whatever you want to change...have the conviction that:
THIS Daimoku!
THIS Daimoku!
THIS Daimoku!
Is the one that does it! 

Here's to YOU and your happiness and success! 
Go Buddha GO! 

2 Great Keys to Developing Friendships ~ Treasures of the Heart

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From Daisaku Ikeda from Ikedaquotes.org: 

"As the Buddhist teacher Nichiren states: “More valuable than treasures in a storehouse are the treasures of the body, and the treasures of the heart are the most valuable of all.” “Treasures of the storehouse” refer to money and other forms of material wealth. “Treasures of the body” are skills and abilities, as well as physical health. “Treasures of the heart” are the riches that we build within our lives. This indicates the kind of inner strength that cannot be defeated by any tribulation. It refers to the power to live out our lives in a creative way, with constant joy, fulfillment and vitality."
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And how do we live our lives in a creative way, with constant joy, fulfillment and vitality? I think one of the keys is through the rich friendships we make. Having good close friends to be there for us, celebrate with us...share their lives with us and create close community...Aaaahhhh, THIS is true treasure.

But not everyone is skilled at making friends...and there IS a skill to making friends. AND we can use our Buddhist practice to fulfill our desire for new friends...along with actions to take as well. 

As a child, and throughout most of my younger life I had very few friends. I found myself living in San Francisco as a young mother, a fairly new Buddhist, with very few friends. And I knew I could change this, and that something had to change within me. AND I had to gain some friendship making skills. 

How did I chant? 
What did I do? 

I chanted to change the karma of not having friends. I chanted to change whatever needed to be changed within my own core...within my own BEING, that would change my environment and bring loving, lasting friendships into my life. I chanted to BE a friend. 
I did tons of shakubuku. I chanted for my members everyday. AND I consulted my father, the world's best friend maker. 

And what happened? I TOTALLY changed that karma and developed the skills to make new friends. Now I have more than 20 people I consider BEST friends, and the list is always growing. I love them all, and they love me. I love you too, my readers. My capacity to love just grows and grows. 

How has this changed my life? How could making new friends, lasting friends, real friends - gaining the ability to really open your life to others in a way that allows you to blossom like the Buddha you are...how could that change your life?

Well, for me, it got me through the worst, most challenging times when my sweet son got so, so sick. My wonderful Buddhist friends surrounded me and chanted with me. One friend came every morning. And when Ben died, I flung open my doors and called out to my friends and they filled my house from morning till evening - because I wanted them to. They cried with me, reminisced about Ben with me, chanted with me, and sometimes just sat in silence. 

They helped me plan Ben's Life Celebration, and showed up to be there for me. And they gave me a fantastic send-off when I left Chicago and moved to Florida last June. And although I was sad to be leaving my friends in Chicago, I knew I would make great new friends in Florida, and I HAVE!

THIS is a treasure of the heart. THIS is what really matters in life. Something has unfolded in the core of my life...some energy that opens me to be real...to be ME...to be love and forgiveness and alive...and to love and be loved. 

Key # 1

We can start with the sincere prayer to open to loving friendships, and to change our friendship karma. 

Key #2

Using a mirror - look yourself in the eye. Every morning, and say: 

"I am ready to make new friends now! I am ready right now to bring new friends into my life. I have a lot to offer. My new friends are waiting to meet ME! I am ready!" 

Try this one incredible key.  

Have a beautiful day!