More positive Self Talk! Affirmation Suggestions for you!

Did you like Etjen's experience from yesterday? 

Etjen and I have been friends since the early 80's. 

She has always been a vivacious and wonderful woman. 

I love how she talks about positive self-talk, and I think it's really important! 

This weekend I developed a few phrases and posted them all around my dressing room. 
I suggest doing your version of this. 

Each of us can benefit from positive words. 

Our words frame the thoughts in our minds...our thoughts and the words we speak predict our future outcomes. 

Here are some of the phrases I am posting and saying every day:

All the Best is Coming to Me Now!

I am grateful for me ever-increasing health - wealth and beauty!

All the best is coming to me now! And I deserve the best!

It is fall, and time to spiff up my wardrobe so I posted on my closet: 

All the BEST clothes are coming to me now! I always look and feel my best!!!

I also have one for drawing an excellent, incredible man into my life. 

And, like Etjen, I also look in the mirror and say:

"You're beautiful! Look at you!"

And I smile at myself. Loving ourselves in where it all starts. Recognizing my own Buddhahood....recognizing your won Buddhahood...that's what it's all about! 

My Friend Etjen's Love Experience!

It’s been a year and a half since I got out of a relationship with a pathological narcissist.  I can now start looking at the profiles on Plenty of Fish (an online dating site) without feeling of dread and repulsion in the pit of my stomach that was there when I started looking several months ago.

When I first got out of that near-death experience (jobless, spiritually and emotionally devastated, physically drained), I began a long journey for some serious self reflection.  How could I, a person who has done an amazing amount of self development work and chanting find myself at 50-something looking back at her relationship track record, finding that ALL of her romantic relationships have been unhealthy in some form.  I had them all, the whole range: – the physically abusive, the emotionally distant, the addict, the mentally ill and the personality disordered.  The realization was devastating.  I had wasted all this time struggling in dramatic love connections.  

I brought this discovery to my chanting and chanted to know what the lesson is here. The clarity came to me: This is great news!  I have so much street education about unhealthy relationships now – that I have so much to teach and help other people plus – there is no way I will ever find myself involved in a situation like this again! I now have a mission and a new powerful way to live emerged. Previously, I had a drive to be in a romantic relationship, always in a desperate search.  This time, I proceeded to do what everyone knows and that is to focus on myself and learn to truly love myself.   I declared a vacation  from all romantic endeavors for a year (something I have never ever done). We’ve all heard that before – “you gotta love yourself before you can love someone else”.  I thought I had already learned this one but this past year, I took it on like a real practice and got that lesson deeply  I’d look in the mirror and into my eyes with love and say out loud things like – “I love you”, “You’re great”, “You are really sexy”.  I’d do healthy things like eat well, chant, exercise, write, spend fun time with my kids, my girlfriends.  I paid more attention to  all the people in my life who love me, appreciate the great city I live in, kept my home cleaner, got rid of clutter.  I’d ask great questions of myself like “If I was my own best friend, how would I talk to myself”?  My self talk shifted – I found myself saying things to myself like : “wow, look how happy people are around you”, “You bring laughter and joy to people”, “It’s okay, don’t be so hard on yourself”, “you are really smart” and lots more.  These practices have really helped me cultivate a higher self esteem and sense of joy for myself and my own life.

Back to the "Plenty of Fish"dating web site!  Part of my mission is to create a great, healthy relationship.  After a couple of failed coffee dates, I chanted to meet that man who will fit with my newly re-established  life and stronger sense of self.  I met him a couple of days later.  Our first date was a Full Moon Hike a couple of months ago.  This is the first man I have been with who I describe as “sweet” (among other things).  When he said to me: “you are a beautiful person”, it felt like a vibration resonating with that love I had cultivated for myself, rather than something for me to argue with.  In that moment, I knew why that “loving yourself” thing is so highly recommended.

We have been dating for a couple of months now and there is still the crazy up and down “new relationship” experience at play.  Now however, it is in a context of balance and peace.  This self love that I have is the foundation and I am centered in a place that I have a deep sense of knowing that I am fine no matter what happens here.  If he went away, I would be okay – I would be left with a sense of gratitude for what we have shared thus far.  There is no more “needing a man to make me whole”.  A great saying I heard is “the man is not the cake, he is the icing.  Your life is the cake”.  

The Soka Gakkai is for all of US!

What is this Blog About? 

And what is the Soka Gakkai? 

Literally Soka Gakkai means Value Creating Society, and that's exactly what it is! There are Soka Gakkai members in 192 countries, all doing Gongyo (reciting from the Lotus Sutra) and Daimoku (Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo over and over) twice a day every day. We meet in people's homes and form family-like districts of people who love and support each other. There are no temples and there is no clergy, although we do have community centers in most major cities where members gather. 

There is a network for support for the District leaders and members. Each of these supporting leaders has a burning passion to help people become happy through chanting these words...and we all have a boatload of benefits to PROVE that chanting works! I am a District leader in Oakbrook Terrace, IL and my district meets every single Wednesday all year. On Sunday seven members of our district gathered together to chant for two hours for one of our members who is in Dublin now because her beloved mother just died. I am sure our friend Pamela felt the waves of support coming her way. 

You can find your local members by going to sgi.org. The members will welcome you with open arms! 

What is this Buddhist Practice? 
How is it different from other forms of Buddhism? 

In the Soka Gakkai, we practice Nichiren Buddhism (also called Practical Buddhism). It's called Practical Buddhism because each person experiences RESULTS from chanting. 

In this practice we are ALL Buddhas...all equal Buddhas tapping into the rich resources of our life itself and the entire universe by chanting the words Nam Myoho Renge Ko. 

Chanting these words enables us to bring forth all we desire and manifest it in this lifetime, it also brings us the resources to change what we need to change in our own characters, and in our lives, to accomplish and build lasting happiness for ourselves and others.  

We belong to the Soka Gakkai International, an organization dedicated to Peace, Culture and Education, founded by educators with vision and passion. It was founded in 1930 by Tunesaburo Makiguchi who died while imprisoned by the Japanese government for refusing to give in to their war efforts during WWII. 
His disciple, Josei Toda went to prison with him, and lived to be released, to devote the rest of his life to laying the groundwork for world wide peace (Kosen Rufu). 
His disciple, Daisaku Ikeda has been living his life with no other thought but peace, culture and education ever since he was 19 years old and met Josei Toda for the first time. 
He fought alongside his mentor tirelessly day after day, even though he was sick with tuberculosis and not expected to live a long life. 

Daisaku Ikeda has founded countless educational institutions based on Soka Education. It's main tenet is that each person should learn how to create a life of VALUE and HAPPINESS through education. There are Soka schools all over the world. Soka University in America sits on a majestic hill in Aliso Viejo, California and my friend Kate's daughter is currently spending the semester in Lima Peru while attending Soka University. It is Daisaku Ikeda's belief that only education can truly change the world and its inequities and build the culture we all desire...one where peace, life, fairness and happiness can flourish. 

Daisaku Ikeda is now 84 and living in japan. His accomplishments are too numerous to mention here. You can find his quotes at Ikedaquotes.org and more information about him on SGI-USA.org. he has over 300 honorary doctorates from universities all over the world. These schools recognize him for creating cultural and educational exchanges among the people of the world. When people share bonds of friendship, peace can truly exist. Ikeda lived through WWII. He has a fierce determination that war is not any solution for anything, and that dialogue between people builds bridges of peace. 

Every day I chant that my heart shares his wisdom, determination and courage. He is an ordinary man; I am an ordinary woman. What sets him apart is his determination to make the world a better place, and the energy He has been expending his whole life in that effort. Through using his example, studying his words and chanting to feel and understand his determination, we can all become strong towers of wisdom, courage and determination...helping others to forge lives of happiness and strength! 

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! 

Just 5 Minutes!

Five Minutes of chanting with your full, open heart can change your life and can change the lives of others. I am not saying that there is no value in chanting for longer periods of time...I am illustrating the fact that change can come quickly!

A Five Minute Story:

When I lived in San Francisco my dear friend, a Harvard Ph.D. had a daughter who was in trouble. Her daughter was on a downward spiral, and had been on one for quite some time. She was repeatedly running away from treatment centers, getting expelled, and had recently ended up in jail. My friend said all she wanted was for her daughter to be allowed back into the last treatment center she'd run away from. She said her daughter wanted to return to the last treatment center  also. 
It was Thanksgiving. I said "OK, FIVE MINUTES. Chant with me for FIVE minutes. I can't tell you what will happen but it will be a profound cause for each of your lives."

We chanted for FIVE MINUTES. That's all. And we chanted with all our hearts. We called her daughter and she said she wanted to chant too. My friend left my house and went to jail to see her daughter. She and her daughter chanted for 20 minutes together...for her daughter to get BACK into the place she'd just run away from. 

And guess what happened? 

NO!! She did NOT get back into the same place! NO she ended up finding out about a treatment center a million times better, a place in Colorado that would also her beautician skills that she wanted to learn, and this place would NEVER, EVER kick her out for running away. 

This place saved my friend's daughter's life. 

FIVE MINUTES of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo can be life changing. 

Just think what you can do in a longer time if you truly believe....if you truly connect with the Gohonzon and chant to deepen your faith...chant to understand Daisaku Ikeda's heart with your own life....chant to have the wisdom to see the way forward in everything you do! Chant to have the kind of benefit TODAY that will deepen your faith. 

THIS MOMENT IS SO IMPORTANT!!! 

I know we sometimes chant out of habit...because we are keeping our commitment to chant. But think about it...what could you accomplish with focus, intention, belief and determination. 

I wrote myself a new affirmation and I'll share it with you:

"I am actively creating the life of my dreams 
every single second of every day...
no matter what it looks like...
no matter how it feels...
no matter what obstacles arise. 
every day I am filled with confidence 
that I am in the right place 
at the right time
Taking action based on wisdom 
flowing from within my life
I see and I know and I move toward
all things excellent, exciting, 
wonderful, happy, successful, loving and free."

Pushing Through! One Breakthrough After another!

We must always keep our lives advancing...moving forward...one step after another...no matter WHAT.

 I recently had a huge breakthrough in terms of clearing something that had been weighing on my mind, and changing patterns (karma) that no longer served me. I succeeded.
I used the power of my emotions and daimoku to decide what I needed to change. Then I chanted,  made my strong determination to never again let this particular situaiton bring me pain. And I and changed something that had been bothering me for my whole life. Without going into detail ... I will say that No MATTER WHAT YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM....NO MATTER WHAT!  You can change it if you persevere. Keep on Keeping on! Keep chanting no matter what.

Then......after having a breakthrough

                                                       ...guess what happens?

Suddenly the NEXT MOST IMPOSSIBLE  (and most important) ISSUE  looms up and I know it is the next karma/pattern/suffering for me to transform and break through.

At first it looks and feels impossible!

But I know, that in order to keep inspiring YOU, and my members, I must keep advancing.

With this Gohonzon, with my determination, heart, intelligence and deep sense of mission to help people who are suffering, ANYTHING is possible. I have been reading The New Human Revolution. It is amazing. Volume 20 is blowing me away. In it Shinichi Yamamoto (Daisaku Ikeda's pen name for himse;f so that he can write the novel in third person, and not in first person having to say "me" and "I" all the time, does the coolest thing ever.

You know he went throught World War II in Japan. He saw his mother change forever on the day she got the notice that her older son (Shinishi's brother) had been killed in the war. He saw a lot of suffering and he became deeply determined to erase war from this planet's landscape. He has devoted his entire life to creating a culture of Peace, through Educational a Cultural exchanges.

He first set his sights on China and Japanese relations. They had fought on opposite sides during WWII. He got an invitation from the Government. While there he was touring a school and the children showed him the bomb shelter they were going to be living in after Russia attacked. Shinishi's heart went out to all of them and he said to himself (and I paraphrase) "WOW , I must go to Russia to see if this is true, and do whatever I can to stop it if it is."

So he got an official state invitation from Russia (I am simplifying here) In Russia he asked the leaders there if they planned on attacking China. They said absolutely not. So he went back to China to let them know....and dissipated the tension.

 Isn't that brilliant?

 What one person can do....

So inspiring. I am chanting to have President Ikeda's spirit be present in everything I do. He is not a God, only a person, a Buddha like me. The oneness fo Mentor and Disciple is a profound Buddhist Principle. President Ikeda speaks of his beloved mentor Josei Toda every single day...and lives to affirm the correct actions Josei Toda took in establishing the foundation of The Soka Gakkai (Value Creating Society)and building the platform from which world-wide Kosen Rufu can be built.

Kosen Rufu (World peace) is based on each and every person building a strong, unshakable sense of self that is not swayed by defeat, by censure, by blame, by failure...but continues to tise, day by day...and that through each person's HUMAN REVOLUTION that a society borne of peace, happiness, true self and purity can be born. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! That is what I am doing and what YOU are doing. We are noble and pure Buddhas!

Today I am writing all the things I am grateful for in my journal. I am writing forth a Rampage of Appreciation for all things goood and great and magnificent in my life!!! This brings more great things into being.

I am thinking of you and chanting for you. Let me hear from you please! I love your emails and comments.

Joining together as an SGI District

Tonight the entire District that meets at my house chanted incredible Daimoku for one hour together for one of our members who is heading to Dublin to see her sick 97 year old mum. And we chanted for another of our members who has been in the hospital. And another of our members is having a childcare problem. 

My apartment vibrated in incredible rhythm, joy and unity for a solid hour. If it could have taken off and flown into the stars it would have! 

I was chanting for every single member to have a breakthrough from our hour together. 

Have you ever chanted so deeply, connected to the Gohonzon (which is your life itself) sooooo strongly time ceased to exist? That's what tonight's chanting was like for all of us. It felt like doing a spiritual marathon and that's exactly what it was!!! Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is exercising your spiritual muscles. Really. I think we were all sweating in the energy we were producing. 

I felt the deep, deep honor of being a District leader and having the responsibility to suppor these wonderful members. I chanted for all of the members to experience being a leader themselves...there is nothing like it. Chanting for yourself AND OTHERS is the key to this practice. 

When you have your whole heart in the practice...when you chant, study, help and encourage others...your life is UNSTOPPABLE and all your worries and challenges disappear! 

If you are not affiliated with the Soka Gakkai International you are really missing out. Go to the SGI-USA.org website. There are links to help you find local practitioners. You can also go to 
SGI.org to find districts all over the world! 

How to get rid of despair - 16 tips and ideas to get you there!

This was one of the most popular posts this year. I thought some of the newer readers might appreciate reading it:

Here's a question I received from a reader, and the answer follows:

Question:

"How are you doing? I read your blog everyday and it makes me soo encouraged.

Lately I haven't been able to chant much due to some or the other reason (even though I try hard to take out time)

and now after almost 4 days of not doing regular gongyo and daimoku, today I am sitting in my office feeling completely lost and low and negative and depressed.

Have been crying sitting at my seat. Like everyones shooting at my weaknesses and trying to let me down.

I know these are the devilish functions working, but I'm not able to gather up the courage to stand up and chant again.

Please share with me anything you like. I've never felt so low in life.

All of a sudden I see a problem everywhere, in everyone, in every aspect of my life be it relationship, work, health ..everything..

Thank you in advance. You are truly an inspiration for many people!!"

Dear friend! 

You are just out of rhythm, and you can so easily get back into it! Here are a few words of encouragement from my heart. First of all, whether you believe it or not we have all been there! We have all been immersed in times where everything around us is darkness and there seems to be no light no matter where you turn. It goes without saying that the sooner you can start doing gongyo twice a day, the sooner things will get better, and I AM SURE that things WILL GET BETTER! You have the ultimate tool for happiness...sometimes it gets very hard to pick it up and use it. I know. We all know! I hope this post helps! 

Here are 16 ideas and tips to pull you through:

1.

There are a few quotes I've embedded in my life: 

"Suffer what there is to suffer and enjoy what there is to enjoy, and continue chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo no matter what happens...then you will experience boundless joy from the law."

From Happiness in This World

Sometimes I interpret this as "It's all right to cry" and I stop resisting feeling bad and just allow myself to cry and release the feelings. 

Another is 

"Winter always turns to Spring"

And it does, doesn't it? Every single year! Sometimes it seems to take longer! But the seasons DO change! 

One of my favorite quotes from Daisaku Ikeda (from the book Learning from the writings. The Hope-Filled Teachings of Nichiren Daishonin. Page 277:

"Seen from the perspective of Buddhism, 

everything has profound meaning. 

There is no need whatsoever to vacillate between elation and despair at each turn of events. 

There is no such thing as a storm that will 

continue blowing and wreaking havoc without end. 

In the same way, there is no hardship that will continue forever. There are clear days and there are rainy days. If we are swayed by our environment, rejoicing one moment and despairing the next amid ever-changing circumstances, then we will not be able to accomplish a true revolution in our state of life.

The important thing is to always believe in the mystic law and to enter the powerful orbit of faith, practice and study. Entering the orbit - the orbit of human revolution and of  changing our karma - is the way to construct a life of good fortune and happiness that will endure throughout eternity. No matter what happens, we will enjoy the unerring protection of the Gohonzon. Instead of drawing conclusions about the world of faith from a superficial viewpoint, we need to calmly discern the true reality and significance of things and keep pressing forward. 

With the passage of time, it will definitely become clear that everything has unfolded in the best possible manner." 

2. 

When I feel despair ~

I write. I write all the sadness out. Sometimes I write to my Mom who, as some of you know, died almost 3 years ago. I just write what I am feeling and it makes me feel better. 

3. 

I take plenty of Vitamin D. For me, sometimes I just need more Vitamin D. 

Also drink a LOT of water! 

4. 
Encourage someone else! Give a stranger a Nam Myoho Renge Kyo card. Talk to someone you know about past benefits you've had. Doing this will remind you of how you've broken through in the past, and you'll gain more hope for the present. 

5.
Take a bath with salt in it...the more salt the better! 

6. 

Clean your Butsudan and altar area. The altar in your home is a reflection of your own life. When you treat it with respect, your environment and all the people in it treat you with respect. If you do not yet have a Gohonzon you can still set up an altar where you chant with offerings to your life...fruit, water, a plant, candles, and incense if you like. 

7. 

Call a true friend. And if you don't have one, put that on your chanting list as something you are chanting for...I did this. I have many true friends now, and chanted for friends for quite some time. 

8. 

As soon as you can, get back in front of the altar to chant. And don't be afraid to cry in front of the Gohonzon or while you are chanting. heck, for the first couple of years I cried all the time when I chanted. It was as if my life had to release years and years of  emotion. 

9. 

Move your body. Go for a walk! Get your energy and your blood flowing! 

10.

Study~

Read the Gosho or President Ikeda's writings! When you read these things - read them with your life. Choose a phrase or a passage and chant to realize its deeper meaning with your life. Chant to share the heart of Daisaku Ikeda. He has a heart beating with the fervent drum of Kosen Rufu. WHen your heart shares this reason it will push feelings of despair away! 

11. 

Ask someone to chant with you!

Get support! 

12. Change what you are saying to yourself in your mind. If your constant refrain is "Why me? How can this be happening to me again." it is important to just change that thought. Replace it with a more positive thought. You choose that thought. How about "Things are getting better and better for me, I just know it...sometimes it is hard to see, but I am definitely on my way!" or "Don't give up (insert your name) it's always darkest before the dawn!" 

13. Breathe deeply. When we are low we tend to breathe in a really shallow way, and it adds to our depression to breathe this way. Sit down and focus on your breathing. Fill your body with air. Picture that air as a bright light coming down from the top of your head...slowly moving down your body as your grey depressive mood seeps out your fingers and toes. Try this. It really does work! 

14. Smile! Go look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Look in your eyes and smile. Did you know it is almost impossible to be depressed when you are smiling?

15. Look up! That's right, look up. Tony Robbins, the inspirational success coach and mentor says that looking down has been proven to actually bring people down, while looking up has the opposite effect. 

16. When you are chanting - direct your thoughts like this:
"Gohonzon (my life itself!) Now is the time for me to rise from these emotions so I can show actual proof of the power of this law. NOW is the time for me to vanquish these feelings of hopelessness. I will NO LONGER allow these feelings to run my life. NOW I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY! I am a precious child of the Buddha, I will not stand for these feelings anymore. I vow to win in all aspects of my life. I vow to win!" 

All will be well. All will be well. All will be well. 

You will one day be encouraging others. And you will have sooooo much compassion!! 

I am thinking of you and chanting for you, and for all!