Have Faith it will all work out!!!

It's just so amazing how things come together in a "myoho" way! 


Today it seems like everything I've ever feared is just an illusion (as it really is - only sometimes it feels real!)


For weeks I've been looking forward to these next few days with apprehension because it seems I was presented with an undoable task at work...with a due date of tomorrow. I fretted. I complained (no, I'm not proud of that!) I worried and lost sleep and I chanted, chanted, chanted...made causes and did my best to keep smiling and keep encouraging everyone around me. I also focused on the part of my job that makes me shine like the sun, and brings happiness to all those around me! 


And we get to the deadline week and I discover that no one in the country who has a similar job has achieved results in the area I thought was impossible...and the one area I really thought was going to go well - the computer system broke down for three days and we had to postpone the event anyway. So I am totally off the hook!


Honestly ...it feels like "Deus ex machina". You english majors should recognize that phrase. It's used to describe novels where suddenly everything magically resolves itself...literally "God from a machine...or God from a box." That's how I feel. Of course I know it has nothing to do with magic. It is all a result from my chanting and my good causes. Last night I even took the Buddhist exam here in Chicago. Many of us are taking that this month. 


And next week I have a huge success in the area of my career that I love. I've brought all three of my campuses in Chicago to participate in one big event that is going to be spectacular...a real service to the community and very great for the students! 


Another fantastic thing came about today too. I'm taking Aaron and Ben, my two Buddha boys, to California in May. (They were both born is San Francisco and we still have dear friends there) I'm calling it Aaron's victory lap for graduating at the top of his class at U of I and starting Medical school at Loyola (close to me!!) next year. We found out earlier this week that our favorite community race of all time is 3 days BEFORE we were scheduled to arrive in California. Darn, I thought...so close! And today I found out Ben has to take a course during the summer and needs to return earlier than our planned date...so I'm moving the trip up a few days and the three of us will do the infamous BAY TO BREAKERS race in San Francisco!!!! Thousands and thousands of people walk from the Bay all the way to the Ocean (You know San Francisco is only 7 square miles...and it's a peninsula, right?) So the boys will run and I'm about to call my Bay Area friends and find out who wants to walk. It's a crazy time. People dress in all kinds of costumes. We did it with the boys every year when they were little. They dressed as superheros. I really do think it's the reason we ended up with two star runners in the family!


So the next time you're thinking "Oh my goodness is this ever going to break through?" or "Why me?" just keep chanting keep chanting keep chanting and one day the clouds will open the results will appear and you will spend the next few days...weeks...months...chanting in appreciation! 


Don't give up whatever you do! Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!!!!

It's November....a time for new determinations....

Here we are in November...when it gets colder and darker...and somehow the days seem so, so long. 
Oh yes, things do pick up closer to Thanksgiving when the boys come home, and then there's the holidays to look forward to...I think. 


Today, as I sit down to chant, I am making new determinations. First of all, November is the month of Spiritual Independence. On November 28th we will all celebrate the day the SGI was excommunicated by the Nichiren Shoshu priesthood. And I don't mean that tongue in cheek. It really is a day to celebrate. No Buddhist needs a priest to tell them what to do! We are all spiritually independent and it is time to truly claim all the power we have within. 


Look at what is going on in  the world, people are rising up to claim the power that is theirs. This is a concept Daisaku Ikeda has been talking about for years! The people have the ultimate power....no one can stop the people when they are united. The Occupy movement is already having an effect. The Bank of America decided today not to charge it's customers $5 a month to access their own money. Hurray. What is next? I just read that Occupy protesters are heading to Iowa to occupy the offices of those running for President and demand that they start actually talking about the things that are important to Americans. This ought to be interesting. 


And what does spiritual independence have to do with all of this? Everything. We are claiming our spiritual independence...we are becoming Buddhas of absolute freedom. I have vowed in my prayer and in my life that no person, no circumstance, no nothing will determine my happiness and independence. I know this may strike you as a radical notion, and I can tell you it is easier said than done...but when I keep my life condition high I feel the beginnings of such a state in my life. If you look back to the beginning posts of this blog in 2009...you'll see how this blog was born...from extreme heartache and the desire to be happy no matter what the circumstances. This does not mean I don't chant for what I desire....no...it means I don't suffer over it...most of the time! 


I will write more on keeping Life Condition high in the following weeks. It all starts with your determination, your list of goals, feeling the call of your heart...and chanting, studying, helping others to chant...and continually digging deep in your prayer to realize THIS is your karma, and THIS you can change (whatever it is!)


So I'm making a fresh determination today, that the next few months are going to shine in my life. I am determined to celebrate my first year living on my own in holiday time and create many new traditions for myself. I may travel...make new friends...have adventures. I will continue chanting for the opportunity to reach as many people as possible through this blog, and by writing books and giving speeches. Please contact me if you have invitations or an agent for me! Most of all I will not feel sorry for myself that my life has changed so dramatically!


I made the decision myself to change my life, get my own apartment and begin a new phase of my life. My kids are both at college, and we are divorcing...but that doesn't mean I have to be sad. Through my daimoku I am going to come up with some goals and visions for this season...and I will fulfill my determination to live an inspiring life based on chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...no matter what!


Join me! Make your determinations! Free your life from whatever suffering you are experiencing...let's all change our karma....and the karma of our towns, our country and our world through our own inner transformation. 

About a Broken Heart

Dear readers, 
I received a comment from a woman with a broken heart. She's been chanting for five months and the man that she was in love with left her and has gone away. I wish to address her here:
Dear Broken Hearted, 
Please do not give up. I can truly understand. The reason I began this blog almost two years ago was my broken heart. I was longing for a man who went away. Every morning I would wake up with his face in my mind...and I felt a constant physical ache in my belly....constant...real pain. It was hard to breathe sometimes. I felt like I was living in a nightmare of hell. 
Because of the suffering I went through then...and my fierce determination to change my life from the INSIDE so that I would never ever experience this intense pain again...this blog was born, and so was my incredibly beautiful life that I have now. 
The broken heart spurred me to chant 2 hours a day and sit in front of the Gohonzon chanting from the bottom of my soul to CHANGE MY KARMA FOREVER....to CHANGE WHATEVER WAS IN MY LIFE THAT ATTRACTED THIS HEARTACHE....AND to LOVE MYSELF SO MUCH....that this kind of pain would go away forever. 
Of course I spent a lot of time chanting to get him back too...because I believe that chanting sincerely for what you really want is the fuel that fires all your results in life. So I chanted to have him back...and gradually, over time, found other prayers that became more important to me. 
I embraced my district and chanted for each person every day. I chanted to change the heartache in my life for the sake of every woman who ever suffered in this way. 
I really know how you feel. 
If you can sit in front of your Gohonzon and chant resonant NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO for exactly what you desire...you will win. Don't worry if your desire is "correct"...ALL your desires are correct. They are yours. Chant from the bottom of your heart. USE THIS PAIN TO FUEL YOUR BEAUTIFUL FUTURE!
Here I am two years later, almost out of a marriage that was long over...I have my own sweet, beautiful little apartment in a gorgeous area with a pond, a pool and a health club. I have a miraculous new job where I am able to really have an impact on the lives of young people. I have so many friends, and even a new boyfriend who loves to make me happy, not sad. And my happiness doesn't depend on him or anything else. My focus is on doing my own human revolution, knowing that any real change happens within my life and is reflected on the outside in everything and everyone. 
That is the real key in life. Follow President Ikeda's Guidance. Chant for those you love...and those you don't love...and you WILL free yourself  from this pain. 
I promise. 

To Hoshi and all, About Overcoming Obstacles...Changing Your Karma!!

Dear Hoshi and readers, 


Congratulations Hoshi! You told me you have been chanting for a few months and all your smaller prayers have been answered...and now you are faced with your biggest desire and suddenly it is harder to chant and you seem to be stepping away from your practice.  There are three things I want to say:


1. Congratulations! You are meeting a chunk of karma that will make a difference throughout YOUR WHOLE LIFE when you overcome it! It is TOTALLY NORMAL to WANT TO STEP BACK AT THIS POINT, because this is when the "the three obstacles and four devils" come into play. They are nothing but functions within your own life that seek to HOLD YOU BACK. 
THIS is why we practice together and have friends in faith! These obstacles are nothing to be afraid of...it sounds like they are appearing as DOUBT and HOPELESSNESS. 


And I can tell you Hoshi and all, I have been there. Oh how I have been there. I can easily recite the litany that goes through my head..."Oh, I will never accomplish this...I've been trying so long and nothing has happened yet...what makes me think that chanting these words will get my life to break through...and besides...maybe I'm not good enough...maybe I don't chant correctly...maybe I'll never accomplish this"


When you have thoughts like this you should think "YES! I MUST be practicing correctly...I WILL BREAK THROUGH !!!"


And here's the crucial point:


2. If you keep steadfast...chant harder then ever....you WILL break through! This is what we mean by overcoming karma. If it were easy ...everyone would do it! IT TAKES COURAGE!!! It TAKES defeating those voices in your brain...but I'll tell you...YOU CAN DO IT...but only if you DON'T GIVE UP. If you slacken in your faith those voices will overtake your desire and you will be defeated. Don't let it happen to you. You are a Buddha. 


"Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is like the ROAR of a LION, what sickness (meaning what obstacle) can therefore be an obstacle" Nichiren Daishonin


And when I say chant harder...I MEAN what I say. 


Gaze up at the Gohonzon, which IS your own life and Tell Your Life:


"I don't CARE how many times these doubts and fears appear before me...I have the GOHONZON now...and I can chant. I will NEVER give in. MY LIfe will be victorious because I have to PROVE the power of the Gohonzon, the power of my own life, so that I can stop suffering, achieve my desires, and I can be an example to those around me that chanting works!


And when you pray like this YES, obstacles will arise. They are supposed to!!!!
Just defeat them...don't let them get the better of you. 
Study the World Tribune and President Ikeda's writings and the Gosho as much as you can. Tell people about this practice to the best of your ability, and Hoshi...you will be writing me your victories in life. Don't worry about it taking a while...if you are chanting like this you will enjoy many benefits along the way. 


3. And consider EVERYTHING in your life as a benefit. Even the bad things. They are all fuel for the fire of your desire. Say THANK YOU to your life, smile through your tears and KEEP ON CHANTING!!!

Wonderful Day

I ask you, really, what is better than a true friendship? I spent the day today with my wonderful friend Kindred. I began the day chanting for three hours, I've had such a heavy, heavy heart. I am chanting to change the deepest emotional pain in my life, it's not gone yet...I know I can conquer it...I know I'm doing such deep karma changing. It's as if it just has to come out to be banished forever. I come from a line of women with broken hearts...and I have vowed in front of the Gohonzon to change this karma. And, as all of us who practice this Buddhism have observed, some karma is just harder to change than others. But, as Nichiren Daishonin says...no prayer goes unanswered!

Anyway, I had the art fair in Geneva, and a day with Kindred to look forward to. We laughed all day long, and talked and enjoyed the artwork. I found a place that I am going to sell some beautiful coats that no longer fit, along with some jewelry. And we found an interior designer and booked an appointment for both of us to go back so Kindred can sell her beautiful hand-made chandelier. I'm really excited about this! She worked for an entire year creating this chandelier...she even traveled to California to learn how to make the electrical work!

This could be just the breakthrough she needs! Her work is high end...and I think she just found her market. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!!

Meanwhile my dear friends Julia and Danielle in Northern California are preparing their homes to receive the Gohonzon! They get it! They understand the power of this practice. Rock and Roll! Friendship is just where it's at!!

Changing Weight Karma!

I have absolutely changed a deep part of my karma.

Remember, in this practical form of Buddhism, karma is the result of every cause you've ever made through every existence you have ever lived. That is not the same as saying it is your FAULT. No, it is not your fault. You are not guilty and there is no original sin in this practice. There is karma. How do you know it's karma? You know because you try everything you can think of to change it...you watch what other people do...and still your life does not budge...that is why we need to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! Check this out:

I was born into a heavy family. My mother took pills for her weight the whole time I was growing up...and my birthright, my karma, was insatiable hunger. There was a little voice in my head constantly telling me to eat more and more and more. Starting from the first grade I felt different from the other girls. Soon after that the boys began making fun of me for my weight and my fate was sealed. I had to shop in the special section and finding clothes was so hard.
When I was in third grade I got asthma. Scary asthma. And they didn't take you to the hospital in those days. And they didn't have inhalers. One day when I was running and I just stopped breathing...barely made it back to my house. From then on I could never run or walk up stairs or play tennis or do ANYTHING or I'd suffer for hours gasping for breath. That, of course, didn't help with the weight problem.
Throughout my life I dieted every way you can think of...weight watchers...Atkins... optifast (I was on that for 6 months and am so lucky to still have my gallbladder...everyone else I know who was on it lost theirs!) And each time I would lose the weight I would gain it all back...either through pregnancy or through eating cheese popcorn.
Honestly...that is not a joke. I felt as long as there was a bag of cheese popcorn in the car I would survive. I was soothing something within me that was just crying out for more and more.
I was deeply in the world of hunger.
Over the past few years I have changed this karma. I think it is no coincidence that I have lost this last 35 pounds while chanting 2 hours a day. I am filling my life with daimoku. I would like to show you a picture I just found. It is of me and my Mom and my aunt. You can clearly see the family karma. I am at least 70 pounds lighter and I look at least ten years younger.
My body no longer cries out for food all the time, and I no longer have asthma. I have chanted for this for years...visualized it. I put together a book of pictures of how I wanted to look. And chanted with a vow and determination...knowing I could change this through my prayer. And it has worked!
I have changed this karma that caused me so much suffering!
If I can do this I can do anything, because, I'll tell you - for many years this was impossible! But that's what this practice is all about...making the impossible possible!!!!