I have told you exactly what I'm chanting for...to free my life from the undercurrent of suffering that has always been within my life and awaken to my true Buddha nature.
I am chanting two hours every day, I am chanting with my friends and encouraging them...I am making every cause every day to have this break through in my life.
What does is feel like?
It feels like the center of my life is some hot volcano...it underlies everything...sometimes it's dormant...sometimes I can quiet it with food or other diversions...and sometimes it just boils up and over!
I'll just bet you know what I mean. I really think we all have this in some form...and all find ways to tamp it down...deal with it...ignore it...and it's probably at the heart of illness itself.
Yesterday I awakened into the reality of the pain all fresh and new.
Now, I know I can summon happiness from within my life...I KNOW this intellectually, and I KNOW the only real love comes from within. Of course, of course.
But the knowledge of this doesn't help when I wake up with tears already in my eyes and a longing and regret that won't just be pushed away. I was thinking about how long I've had this pain...this longing...this insatiable hunger. I've attributed it to many things...in High School it was "caused" by my longing for a boy I couldn't have, in college it was just general sadness, and since then it's been longing for one thing or person after another...just a sense of never having enough.
Don't get me wrong, I have a great life, I have a wonderful career, I have an inspiring and dedicated family, I have many dear, dear friends, and feel great appreciation much of the time...but there has been this sadness under it forever. Probably for many lifetimes.
And among my Buddhist friends there are so many excellent roll models who have conquered their sadness and overcome great obstacles...I know that I can too.
So, I called my friend Kate Randolph, the incredibly talented actress, producer and director...and also the person who introduced me to this practice 25 years ago. She has had this breakthrough for herself. Here is what she said:
First she said that my victory is assured.
I will experience the happiness that comes from accessing my own Buddhahood.
I will bring the love I wish to feel from within my life. I will stop looking for it to come from somewhere else. I will accomplish my goal. I am chanting two hours a day, I am focusing on my happiness and the happiness of others. I am joined in heart with my mentor Daisaku Ikeda.
And I must go through it to the end. As it says in the Gosho "the wise will rejoice while the foolish will retreat." She said I must realize that I am turning around years...lifetimes...of devaluing my life. I must praise it instead!
I must realize that I'm waging this battle not only for myself, and see it for the noble fight it is. Face it, MOST people think their happiness and suffering lie OUTSIDE of themselves.
That's the world we live in.
If I can break through that illusion in my own life, I can raise the vibration of the whole planet. That is what we mean by the Term Human Revolution...any real change on the planet is affected by each of us being strong and brave enough to do what it takes to break through.
Since we are all interconnected to everything else...all part of the web of life...human revolution MUST effect everything in the environment.
She said Kosen Rufu (world peace) means having a planet that fundamentally dignifies life. Imagine that!
We Buddhas, all of us, everyone, can be deeply, profoundly, limitlessly happy right now, right where we are, just as we are.
Bring it on!
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!!!!
Excellent! Much love and warm Hugs
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