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"While controlling your mind,
which is at once both extremely subtle
and solemnly profound,
you should strive
to elevate your faith with freshness and vigor.
When you do so,
both your life and your surroundings
will open wide before you
and every action you take
will become a source of benefit.
Understanding the subtle workings of one's mind
is the key to faith and attaining Buddhahood in this lifetime."
Daisaku Ikeda, For Today and Tomorrow, page 95.
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Well, if you read yesterday's blog you know I chanted like the house was on fire on Sunday. I chanted deep, heartfelt Daimoku that THIS MOMENT I was changing my karma through THIS Daimoku. Two hours. Powerful stuff.
When we chant powerful Daimoku, or do a toso (extended chanting session) sometimes what we get immediately following isn't exactly what we expect. We might expect the skies to open and our benefit to fall straight into our arms. But it isn't always like that.
The key for me is to recognize WHATEVER HAPPENS as a benefit.
On Sunday night after this powerful Daimoku, I did not feel well. During the night, I had a dream where I saw Ben as a young child and was crying out "my baby, my baby!" I woke up not feeling well and weeping. (If you are new to this blog you can go back to the July 4, 2015 post and read it, and the days that follow)
Instead of thinking "Oh no...this Daimoku clearly did not work," I thought,"Even THIS could be the answer to my prayers. I haven't cried in a while...maybe it's time to process some grief."
I took the day to cry. We may be Buddhas, but we are still human beings, and we still feel pain, just like Nichiren Daishonin did. And my philosophy is to feel what I feel. (Unless of course I am in the middle of a presentation or it is not an appropriate moment...we have to use common sense.)
I believe that if I run from my sadness, closing it up tight every time I feel it, I will not be able to ever let it out, and heal. I feel (but cannot prove) that closing off these emotions might lead to disease. And it was my great benefit that I did not have anything pressing I had to do. I decided to let my sadness flow...and such sweet sadness it was.
I took out all of the letters I got this summer, many of them from YOU, all over the world, and I read them, and felt all the love, compassion and feeling from each of the words in the cards...and I cried until there were no more tears left for that day. Then I stopped, refreshed, wrote in my journal, and made some calls.
Today, my heart is light, and I am ready for this exciting week where I have four presentations in three days. I'm presenting "Growing older, Bolder, BETTER!" at the Downers Grove, Illinois Library on Thursday night at 7:00. Call and reserve a space if you're close and want to attend.
Tomorrow is November 18th, Ben's 100th day. Please join me in Daimoku for his brilliant, sparkling life. I see him being reborn soon, without the troubles of this life...with a Gohonzon in his home...and having a blast as a youth in 2030...full of hope, inspiration, perseverance and mirth!
Yesterday I got an email from someone in Canada who found out about chanting from this blog and joined the SGI this week! Isn't that wonderful! It fills my heart with joy!
My address is 17w702 Butterfield #104, Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181 and my email is chantforhappiness@gmail.com