Question and Answer about changing Friendship Karma

Dear Jamie: 

Hope you are well. 
Tell me can Karma be removed through 
our practice of Nichiren’s Buddhism? 
I am told it can, that’s what I read in your blog 
and hear from others. If that is true, 
why does it surface again?

I don’t make close friends easily 
although I have a large circle of friends
and acquaintances. If I look back all through
my life each time I have become close 
to anyone, after a while they have 
moved on- and we may stay in touch it's 
never the same- It's me who ends up 
miserable. I have tried very hard first 
not to let any one get close but still it 
happens and I am in a state of hell. 
I have chanted a lot that I should not 
be dependent on any one but this 
tendency has been stuck till date.

I have yet again gone through the 
same situation and am so upset that 
its affecting every area of my life. 
I fear loneliness and have no one 
really with whom I can share my joys 
or sorrows. What do I do?

Signed, 

So Lonely

 Dear So Lonely, 

 I totally understand. Thank you for writing. 
Yes, you can definitely change karma 
by chanting. Absolutely. And you can 
change this karma. I did. I used to be in 
so much pain and so lonely. 

So: I made a determination to be the 
kind of person that people would want 
to have as a friend. And I chanted to 
change in any way possible so that I 
could make this happen. A very good 
power prayer is: "I now release any 
resistance to change in my life." 
It really works. I chanted to BE a friend. 

And yes, the karma came around again 
for me many times before it went away. 
And each time I screamed at the Gohonzon 
in my heart chanting "I am DONE with this 
karma of not having friends. I am rooting 
this suffering out immediately. I don't CARE 
how often I feel discouraged I will not lose 
hope. I will WIN! I HAVE to win so that I can 
show actual proof for Kosen Rufu. This 
experience will encourage people!" 

Having a strong practice is the most important 
thing. Chant twice a day. Twice! Go to SGI 
meetings, no matter what. Study President 
Ikeda's guidance and encourage people. 
Use this practice the way it was intended: 
to create your OWN human revolution which 
creates your happiest self. Your happiest self 
will hve the wisdom and skills to draw close 
friends to you. 

You can also use the powerful tool of writing 
out your experience BEFORE it happens, 
and write it in the present tense...read it 
and reread it. "I have many satisfying 
relationships, I care about people and 
they care about me. It is easy for me to 
make friends." Even if this is not yet true. 
The declaration is powerful. You can start 
speaking these words too. Don't give up. 
Take action, get out there. My best friend 
is a woman I met in a bead store who helped 
me learn to make jewelry. Go places where 
you will meet people who share your 
interests. I met many friends at networking 
events, then called them and invited them 
to other networking events. I also set lunch 
dates and made friend after friend. 

You are not alone, so many people are 
suffering from this. When you chant, think 
I MUST change this karma so I can help 
other people change this karma. 
I MUST break through  for Kosen Rufu!!! 

And you WILL I know you WILL!!!

All my best, truly my best, 
Jamie