Sooo Thankful

I can feel it in my life...major negative karma is changing.

I will keep you posted.

Let's just say for the moment that I am feeling thankful, so thankful.

I feel stronger, less sad...stronger and stronger every day.

I feel as if a great weight has lifted, and there are blue skies on the horizon.

I KNOW my karma is changing...it has to change...all around me I am seeing the results of my introducing people to the Gohonzon, and helping them learn to practice. Julia sent me a picture of herself and the light in her eyes, and energy in her face was so ALIVE. She said, in a way, that before she began chanting she had been feeling her life force just sapping away due to an incident that happened in 2003. Now that she is chanting she has gotten so much more healthy and happy...you can see it in her face and feel it in her life! She's also experiencing a real growth in her musical talents...who knows what else will come along.

I love to introduce my people to chanting. It is truly the most rewarding thing. And the fact that when I do it, my life gets more strong and happy...and I draw more benefits in....well, that's just icing on the cake!

Mary Lou gets her Gohonzon

Today we had a study meeting/gosho lecture at my house. I studied this material over and over until I felt I had something useful and practical to relate to the members.

And Mary Lou also received her Gohonzon! She and I first began our friendship out of my quest to solve my leg problem through something other than surgery. She helped me quite a bit...but in the end, as you know...there was only one way for me to go.

I have to say I have been so much better since the surgery. I can walk, and walk and walk! Just like I used to!

And I will tell you...my karma is changing. It has to! You can't do a ton of shakubuku and keep your life standing still. Nohow...NO WAY! Something I have been chanting for is coming true. I don't want to spoil it here ...but I will say that I deserve it and I am a happy girl!

I've also been asked to write an online column about Buddhism, and to lead a class at the Chicagoland Wellness Center called (what else?) Chant for Happiness! Yaaayyy!

Aaron and Ben

Today, celebrating Ben's 18th Birthday! Two incredible Buddha Boys!

Recent picture

This was taken of me on Sunday...sending all good wishes YOUR way!

Ben's Birthday and Danielle's Enshrinement Party!

What a day...Ben's 18th birthday...and the same day, in Cloverdale California, Danielle's Enshrinement party for her Gohonzon.

I began the day chanting earnestly and sincerely to free my life and swing up into the happiness I know is so near...yet, whose spirit can be so elusive to me...I am ever aware of the karma I am surmounting...of the battle within. And as I was shopping for Ben's party, and Thanksgiving today...suddenly it was like the bottom just dropped out and the front side of my body was just filled with an ache and my heart was beating so fast. There I was, walking through the grocery store thinking of something special to get for my sweet Mommy...and the physical ache almost bowled me over. It was all I could do to finish shopping and almost run out of the store. I called my sister and she said the same exact thing had happened to her in the grocery store on numerous occasions. Of course it makes sense...here we are planning for a major event - two major events. Ben's 18th birthday and Thanksgiving. And Mom's not here for either of them. Last year Dad was here...and we were busy planning Mom's life celebration. When I got home I cried and cooked and chanted in appreciation for having had a Mom who was so wonderful in my life...and for having the two Buddha boys who bring me so much joy...

For Ben's birthday I made a colorful stir fry, and his favorite spice cake. Then I distributed gold wrapped chocolate coins at everyone's plates. Each of us made a wish for Ben's 18th year with each coin. We had some serious wishes about pursuing his dreams, and getting into a college that brings him joy, and making it through the college apps. And I'll just tell you we ended up having a wild and fun time...I mean, think about it...what would YOU wish an 18 year old boy? And to quote Ben, quoting Forest Gump "That's all I'm going to say about that right now."

Some of our wishes were quite dignified...others...hmmmm, not so much!

And I am thinking tonight of Cloverdale California where Danielle is enshrining her Gohonzon in her Gohonzon room as we speak. Julia came down from Ukiah, and many of Danielle's friends are there. She didn't just have an enshrinement...she had a party! Of course! She is so ready to have meetings, and she's already introducing her friends and studying away. There is just something to be said for being ready. She's known me since Aaron was about one year old. We discovered her in the park by our house in San Francisco. When our Nanny turned out to be someone we couldn't trust...we turned to Danielle and ended up bringing our children to her every weekday for many years. She taught me so much about parenting. She was always so respectful to each of the kids she was watching...no matter how dramatic the moment. She'd calmly get down to eye level with the child and say "use your words" in the most soothing tone of voice.

She MADE play doh for goodness sakes! The kids produced great works of art with her. When I asked her secret to having them create great art she said "It's knowing when to take the paper away." Ah. Very wise!

Over the years Danielle heard the boys and me chanting, saw them grow up, and then Aaron and I made the trek to Cloverdale to stay with her this spring. I hung my own Mom's Gohonzon on her wall and we all chanted together...and I have to ask exactly what happened...but she called me ON MY BIRTHDAY and said she wanted to practice. It was one of the coolest gifts ever!

Go Danielle! I am soooo glad you now share Ben's Birthday with him. You have noooo idea how incredibly great your already wonderful life will become now! As you know "A sword will be useless in the hands of a coward." And you are definitely NO coward!!!!" Congratulations!

What a great Day ~Amidst a string of great days!

Today was just the best. Aaron Michael, my 20 year old son who goes to

the University of Illinois is back for the whole week. That's longer than he was home all summer. We've had a wonderful weekend together...he is so strong and happy. Everything he's wanted to break through is coming to pass...his inner strength just continues to shine brighter and brighter.

Today we spent the day at the Shedd Aquarium. His idea. We had a blast reading the minds of the fish...and reciting an ongoing monologue. I'm quite sure each of the fish really were speaking to us in their own ways. My favorite ones I called the Jamie fish...they were bright orange and pink. I'll see if I can email a picture here. We just laughed our way along. Then we went to Zapatistas ~ our favorite downtown spot right by the SGI culture center for dinner.

The weekend was sparkly...I got the chance to meet several new friends.

And tomorrow ~ the 23rd of November is Benjamin Lee Silver's 18th birthday. I'm going to surprise him in the morning with french toast and the DVD of How to Train Your Dragon. It's a delightful show. Ben loves it! 18 years old...what a concept. All I can remember from being 18 was a lifetime of longing...and feeling completely unfulfilled. I was truly living in the world of hunger. What I would have given to have been able to chant...to have known about it. Aaaaaahhhh.

New Beginnings

Can you feel it...new beginnings in the air? I don't think I am alone...

We are living in exciting times, and you can just feel the excitement in the air...

In President Ikeda's Lecture in Living Buddhism about the Gosho

"On Practicing the Buddha's Teachings" he states:

The Chinese character myo of myoho, or mystic Law, has the meaning "to open," as does the Chinese character for the number eight. The curtain has risen on the Soka Gakkai's 80th anniversary year, a year when everything will open up ~ or rather, a year in which we must open the way to victory in all areas.

Open the way with prayer

based on the shared commitment of mentor and disciple!

Open the way with the courage

to forge ahead bravely and victoriously!

Open the way with the wisdom

to perceive the essential truth and changing circumstances!

Open the way with self-assured and confident action!

He points out that the Soka Gakkai's focus is to grow and pioneer new frontiers for Kosen Rufu (world peace) always maintaining a direct connection to Nichiren Daishonin by basing everything on his writings. That's why we read the gosho~the letters he wrote to his followers.

For those new to the blog let me remind you that the advent of Nichiren Daishonin in 1222 AD was foretold by the original Buddha. He said that a Buddha would come along who would reinterpret his writings for the people of the Latter Day of the Law ~ the time in which we live. In 1222 the Daishonin was born in samurai time in Japan. Before he entered the priesthood he made a vow to become the wisest man in Japan...then he went around to all the temples reading the Buddhist scrolls ~ searching to find which of the schools of Buddhism was the lifeblood of the original Buddha ~ which one had the power to transform people's lives. When he began chanting the title of the Buddha's highest teaching (the Lotus Sutra) Myoho Renge Kyo he immediately saw the power in it. He added Nam at the beginning to signify devotion or focus, and he was on his way. Immediately all sorts of persecutions came upon him and he was even more certain that he had found the true teaching.

Now, we study his letters to his followers called the Gosho, literally "honorific writings." These are the lifeblood of the Buddhism we practice. Nicherin found the key to the real, useful, words of Shayamuni Buddha.

The Gosho we are studying this month explains that each of us who practice and chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo will suffer various persecutions as we move our lives forward with the deep prayer for Kosen Rufu...and this is inevitable and meant to be. If we run from our troubles when they occur we will not be able to stand as a strong confident lion, overlooking all that we have accomplished by overcoming the storms that come our way. These storms are NECCESSARY in order to turn "Poison into Medicine" ...or transform any harm or negative consequence into positive outcomes. Everyone who chants Nam Myoho Renge Kyo needs to understand that problems are inevitable and important! Only through overcoming a great evil will we know the power of the mystic law. I think each of us has our own great evil in a way. I always saw my weight as the great evil in my life. And now that I have slayed that dragon I do feel so powerful!

What dragon will you slay? Don't turn away when the going gets rough! That's why it is so important to join with your fellow Buddhists! The true practice of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism is done together with your fellow members. If you practice on your own you will not have the lifeblood of the faith!

And We're Off!

It is definitely a new day!

We have now entered the 80th year of the Soka Gakkai's founding. You may know that the number 8 has tremendous significance in Eastern cultures. First of all, if you lay an 8 on its side it is the symbol of eternity...right? 8 also means myo...or to open...and this is the year of opening, and this is the moment of opening for me.

I'm always talking about Human Revolution, and the fact that when you change inside your environment changes to reflect it. Well, get this. All summer long I chased the sun around my yard. We have tall trees surrounding us everywhere, so I was constantly moving my chaise. And at a certain time, because of the trees on the lot next door, the sun just went poof...way too early if you ask me. I would look up at these tall trees and think...if only they weren't blocking my beloved sun...

Sooo, new neighbors bought the house a few weeks ago, and all day on Thursday there were 6 very nice men cutting down trees on the lot next door. They even took away our brush, and the tree that had fallen in our backyard (from the neighbor's lot) AND the dead tree that had fallen in our wood lot. And in return I gave them coffee and cookies and they came inside and played guitar for me. Wonderful!

Yesterday was an awesome day in downtown Chicago. I walked from the train all the way to 111 N. Wabash (Heaven on Seven) and back. Quickly. And my hip was fine. I felt like my old smart and quick self! I was smiling the whole way!

I also was invited to teach chanting classes at the Chicagoland Wellness Center. We're calling the class "Chant for Happiness" just like this blog, and the owner herself is very excited about learning to chant!

And today....drum roll please...I connected with someone I am going to help in her spiritual weight loss journey. OMG it is so much fun ~ I am just pinching myself. This is truly the work that I was born to do. She has already changed her energy around this whole subject and is excited about what lies ahead. We first spoke on Wednesday and I gave her some homework to complete by today...and she had done it all, and was already feeling transformed. So Yaaayy! Here we go!

And my son Aaron came home last night for his first long (9 day) stay since Christmas. He worked at U of I all summer. He is a man now...20 years old...so handsome...so strong and self assured. He has made and is making all the goals he has set for himself. He has had a personal breakthrough at school. Both of my sons are so strong...their life force is flowing. They are chanting and I am chanting for them. I appreciate my life~ I appreciate me life!!

November 18th 2010!!!

Well, it's finally here...the day we have been thinking about for soooo long. Today is the 80th anniversary of the Soka Gakkai and the 50th Anniversary of the Soka Gakkai in America. This is truly a day to celebrate.

Last night we held an inspiring and uplifting meeting here at my house. People didn't leave until about 10:30; everyone was so happy to be hanging out together...we really are like a family. Every Wednesday we meet here, share stories, encourage each other and gain inspiration together. Last night, one of our newest youth members (he's in his early 20's) described his experience of chanting. He said he used to worry constantly and now he doesn't worry at all anymore. He takes things as they come and keeps chanting. he knows everything is going to turn out fine. You know, some people never, ever get to that stage in life. It's called Peace of Mind! Go Kris! He really knows the heart of this practice: faith, practice and study. We chant, we study and we teach others, and we introduce others...that's how you get benefit in Buddhism. You become the best version of yourself...a true Boddhisatva!

You Buddha YOU!

In this practice all humans are equal! We are all Buddhas...every single on of us...all of us are unique with our own special gifts...and chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo allows us to tap the power of the universe within.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo means : I fuse my life with the mystic law of cause and effect through sound vibration. And it does just that...fuses your life with the very rhythm of life itself....and when you chant these words and connect with your desires, you can watch your dreams come true right in front of your eyes.

The sky is the limit...there is nothing you can't wish for...and you add power to your prayer when you deepen your prayers to include the happiness of all...for instance, when I chant for my own happiness I am always chanting to be an example that this practice works...so that my results and life and happiness can inspire people!

Tonight, at 7:00 California time my dear, dear friend Danielle is getting her Gohonzon. She was the young woman we found in San Francisco to take care of our sweet Buddha boys before they were old enough for school when we were at work. Danielle was gifted...a natural earth mother...she taught me so much about parenting, and she was so young at the time...but old for her years. When we moved from San Francisco we kept in touch and she moved up to Cloverdale...a truly heavenly place. This spring Aaron and I visited Danielle and we all chanted together. She called me on my birthday to tell me she wanted to embrace this practice. And tonight she's getting her Gohonzon! It is a new birthday for her...one she will never forget. I will ask her, and report back to you...just what was it that had her make this pivotal decision right now~!

Happier every single day

You know, the best thing about this practice is always knowing what to do when you have a problem. It's so simple. Chant. you'll feel better and the circumstances will also change. There is no doubt about it. just keep moving forward and don't give up. So far, there has been nothing in my life that I could not change when I sat and chanted about it...

I created and prospered in great and fun jobs. I served on various boards of directors, I made many income goals...

I gave birth to two great boys. I chanted for them before they were born...I chanted that my prayers would change their karma even before they were born...and that they would have dreams and pursue them...and be strong...and that I would be a good, wise compassionate mother to them...so many other things.

What a joy it has been to be raising them as Buddhists. From their very first years, when they had problems we would chant together, and they learned that there was no problem they could not solve. They solved problems with bullies, they have chanted for tests and grades...they have alleviated bad dreams, they have reached personal goals! How incredibly wonderful it is to have given them this tool. I think continually how I would have chanted to change my problems when I was a sad, sad teenager. I would have loved this practice...I looked for it, and finally I found it at the age of 25. A little too late for high school, but not for the rest of my life!

What else have I chanted about? To have friends. People who know me now cannot imagine me as I used to be...friendless and sad. I sat in front of my altar and cried, I vowed to change in any way necessary to have friends...I chanted for real friends. And here I am now...with so many truly dear friends, all over the world.

I have changed so much...I have lost 70 pounds and am keeping it off. I'd call that a miracle, but because I chant the law of cause and effect, I know it is not a "miracle" because I made the causes to make it happen.

How great it is to live knowing that there is not a problem I can't solve...not a hurt I can't make go away...sure, I am not perfect, and I am still working on some things...but I know I will get there and that makes life so exciting! Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!

Wonderful Day

I ask you, really, what is better than a true friendship? I spent the day today with my wonderful friend Kindred. I began the day chanting for three hours, I've had such a heavy, heavy heart. I am chanting to change the deepest emotional pain in my life, it's not gone yet...I know I can conquer it...I know I'm doing such deep karma changing. It's as if it just has to come out to be banished forever. I come from a line of women with broken hearts...and I have vowed in front of the Gohonzon to change this karma. And, as all of us who practice this Buddhism have observed, some karma is just harder to change than others. But, as Nichiren Daishonin says...no prayer goes unanswered!

Anyway, I had the art fair in Geneva, and a day with Kindred to look forward to. We laughed all day long, and talked and enjoyed the artwork. I found a place that I am going to sell some beautiful coats that no longer fit, along with some jewelry. And we found an interior designer and booked an appointment for both of us to go back so Kindred can sell her beautiful hand-made chandelier. I'm really excited about this! She worked for an entire year creating this chandelier...she even traveled to California to learn how to make the electrical work!

This could be just the breakthrough she needs! Her work is high end...and I think she just found her market. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!!

Meanwhile my dear friends Julia and Danielle in Northern California are preparing their homes to receive the Gohonzon! They get it! They understand the power of this practice. Rock and Roll! Friendship is just where it's at!!

Gosho Quote for you

On this, the one year anniversary of my Mom's death, I share with you these words that have been inscribed in my heart.

This is one of the only religions that has the actual texts of the founder in written format...not someone else's interpretation of the founder's words. This quote reinforces how incredibly fortunate we are to have the Gohonzon and be able to draw the rich power of the universe from within our lives.

...from Reply to Kyo'o

This was written to Shijo Kingo's infant daughter, but meant for his parents. They had been followers for many years, and had recently been bestowed with the Gohonzon. They were one of the first families...and they had written the Daishonin to inform him that Kyo'o was very sick. This letter was his response. It was written August 15th, 1273.

Gosho Quote (This is almost the whole of this short Gosho):

Since I heard from you about Kyo'o Gozen, I have been praying to the gods of the sun and moon for her every moment of the day. Always cherish the Gohonzon which I sent you some time ago for her protection. This Gohonzon was never known, let alone inscribed by anyone in the Former or the Middle Day of the Law. The Lion, king of beasts, is said to advance three steps, then gather himself to spring, unleashing the same power whether he traps a tiny ant or attacks a fierce animal. In inscribing this Gohonzon for her protection, Nichiren is like the lion king. This is what the sutra means in "the power of an attacking lion." Believe in this mandala with all your heart. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is like the roar of a lion, what sickness can therefore be an obstacle?

...Wherever your daughter may frolic or play, no harm will come to her, she will be free from fear like the lion king... But your faith alone will determine all these things. A sword will be useless in the hands of a coward. The mighty sword of the Lotus Sutra must be wielded by one courageous in faith. Then he will be as strong as a demon armed with an iron staff. I Nichiren, have inscribed my life in sumi, so believe in this Gohonzon with your whole heart. The Buddha's will is the Lotus Sutra, but the soul of Nichiren is none other than Nam Myoho Renge kyo. Miao-lo states in his interpretations, "The revelation of the Buddha's original enlightenment is the heart of the sutra."

Kyo'o Gozen's misfortunes will change into fortune. Muster your faith and pray to this Gohonzon. Then what is there that cannot be achieved? You should believe the Lotus Sutra when it says, "This sutra fulfills one's desires. It is the pond's cool, clear water that quenches thirst." and "They will have peace and security in this life and good circumstances in the next. When I am pardoned from exile in this province, I will hasten to Kamakura where we will meet. If one considers the power of the Lotus Sutra, he will find perpetual youth and eternal life before his eyes...."

Thank you Nichiren Daishonin!

Love to you!

Jamie

Constantly Growing

I feel like a beautiful, exotic plant that is about to burst forth in flower...the stems have grown, the water source is secure, and the sun is in the most favorable condition for me!
My spiritualweightloss.com web site is up and running, I'm writing articles for Megan Gala's magazine, and I am awaiting my business cards in the mail! Every day I run out there like a little kid! I probably would have gone to the Chamber meeting today if I'd gotten them in time...but it wasn't meant to be...no...I got to walk in the sunshine on this glorious day...and I also opened my business account! Woohoo!

And tonight's meeting was awesome. My entire district chanted with me for a whole hour...such heartfelt, life changing daimoku. Next week is the November General Meeting with food and song and new guests...it will be incredible.

Ben's picture is all over the newspapers for coming in tenth at state. I swear, there's a huge article. He definitely WON! Aaron took his big organic chemistry test and thinks he did well...and I'm here with the luxury of having time to chant to my heart's delight...chanting in appreciation and knowing that I'll find the perfect place to live, and I'll be helping people to lose weight and earning a living at the same time. Today I cleaned right down to the dust bunnies in my Butsudan room...all the while saying: "I am clearing this space to make room for all the wonderful things coming into my life right now...I am clearing my space to welcome new energy and income and people into my life! Woohoo!

Most Exciting News

I just don't think there is anything more exciting than having a really deep impact in someone's life. For me, that is the crux of life...the reason I chose to be born at this time...the juice that makes life worth living.

You should just see what is happening in the lives of my friends from California who are about to receive the Gohonzon...and the thing is...the beautiful thing is...I shakubukued them with my life...and THAT is the anwer to my prayers.

I've known Julia for 12 years, ever since a friend fell deeply in love with her when we were all living together in San Francisco. We always had friends living with us there...it was truly a gift for ourselves and our kids. We gave our kids "chosen" family!

Once we met Julia, we could see why he had fallen so deeply for her...she is a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul. It took him many moons to win her over, and when they got married it was in a grove on the side of Mt. Tamalpais...and the four of us flew back to San Francisco for the wedding. It was an unforgettable experience...watching Julia walk barefoot down to us through the knee high grasses...hearing all the blessings each person bestowed upon them as part of the ceremony...watching my little boys play catch while we drank Champagne and basked in the glow of their love...

Then over the course of life, Julia had some setbacks and got ill...she got Lyme disease and a deep sadness from some events she went through.

When Paul turned 50 I flew Cliff and Julia here to surprise Paul...and we had a great time...only I was so heavy and so sad. Julia believed in me. She believed I could win over my heavy body and become healthy and happy. She turned me on to Goji juice...and I redetermined...and redetermined to achieve victory. I would not give up. She and I would talk frequently about life and affairs of the heart. As you know...I've lost the weight!

When Paul and Ben and I drove to Port Clinton, Ohio to see Julia and Cliff this summer, Julia was in no mood to talk about religion. She had spent a week with Cliff's wonderful...evangelical ...Mennonite family...so I said nothing about chanting, and my life itself did the talking.

She was floored by how I looked...but not just how I looked...she is intuitive and spiritual and she could FEEL the strength of my life. She saw how Paul and I, even though we are divorcing, we are enjoying each other's company and raising our wonderful and happy Buddha boy! She has known Ben since before he was born and she and Cliff and Ben jammed on guitar and talked and laughed together. One afternoon in the park she said "Let's Chant". And Ben and I just started chanting outdoors with her...and she has not stopped since!!!

She and I talk every day...you should hear her! The power of life...the excitement of reclaiming her health, her vitality, her energy...it's palpable!!! She KNOWS she has tapped into the source of the UNIVERSE within her...she's chanting every day, twice a day and preparing to receive her Gohonzon. Every time I talk to her I get a surge of "Anything is possible! ANYTHING!" and we give each other energy. I know I am in the process of making my dreams come true. And I'm sharing this process with the people I love and watching their lives blossom too! Truly...what could be better?

Ben's Memories of State

When I asked Ben this morning "what will you remember forever about your senior year state meet?" He answered that he saw the time as he ran through the finish line 14:33 - and his lowest prior was 14:52 and he was elated...he was looking for someone to celebrate with, and saw Aaron, his beloved brother first, there to congratulate him! He'll never forget that.

And he also said on Friday night, Coach Kup gave a talk, and at the end of it, just as he was walking out the door Kup said, "Oh, and you can keep your uniforms forever!" and he just couldn't believe it! The boys were shocked and happy! So happy!

Ben Silver Rocks!!! We love Coach Kup!!!

Today, my almost 18 year old son, Benjamin Lee Silver came in 10th in the State of Illinois Cross Country meet. As a senior, this means the world to him!

Illinois is the top running state in the nation, and Ben's been injured for much of the season. What did being injured mean for Ben? It meant that every night he'd spend 2 straight hours on the elliptical machine at the gym to keep his heart in running shape for when he could run again. You should have seen him. And he worked so hard to keep his grades up in the 5 AP classes he's taking this year.

And it paid off for my Buddha boy. His goal was top ten and he accomplished it. So exciting. Now he can really focus in on college planning. At the moment he plans on applying to 11 colleges, all over the country. I am chanting for him to be happy...wherever he ends up!

What a day...we are really on a roll these days. I woke up early enough to chant strongly for an hour before we headed off to Peoria "The Promised Land" as those of us in the Downers Grove North running program call it....aaahhhh Detweiler Park, I know you well!

This year was especially important because the entire team qualified to run, and it's coach Kup's last year. He's an amazing man, Kup. He leads the boys with heart and character and love. I told him many moons ago "Kup you can't retire until my boys graduate!" and here we are in Ben's senior year...and Kup's last year before retirement. Goodness knows, though, KUP is not going to retire! I can't wait to see what he does next with his amazing precious life!!!

Remembering My sweet Mommy...

Mommy,

Last year I didn't even notice how quickly the cold came on...

because I was with you in the hospital...

day and night...day and night...

alternating between moments of rapture

cherishing you

and electrifying moments when the knowledge

first struck...

that maybe you weren't going to be able to breathe on your own.

And who would have thought

that just watching you breathe, still being alive, and warm,

would be enough for me...by your side...chanting for your life...

in appreciation,

for your future lights and energy and shine

Oh this lifetime Mommy...

I know it broke your heart

in so many ways...

and I know how much you loved your girls

and your grandsons...

And how I feel you now...beside me...

urging me to win over those demons we two share.

Feelings of hopelessness, and of feeling unloved...

knowing only to stuff them down in some way...

because they are just too painful to feel.

But I do this for you Mommy.

I vow to win forever.

I vow that this suffering has ended with me,

and that through my strong prayer

I have changed our karma forever.

I am not done yet, Mom,

But I won't give up.

I won't give up.

I won't give up.

Time for Cross Country State Meet

Wow! What a wonderful morning..seeing the boys off to Cross County State! So much energy and excitement. And the sun is shining even though it's cold.

These two weeks, culminating in the date of November 12, commemorate last year when my Mom was spending her last few days on the planet. In her honor I have dedicated the top of one of my bureaus in my Butsudan room to her...with some gifts she gave me, pictures...her kukui beads...and just honoring myself and being especially good to myself. In her honor I decided to reach some goals by the 12th...I've made a lot of progress so far. I cleaned out all the drawers in my bedroom, and the closet and closet floors, and yesterday I had my dear friend help me in the garage, and in cleaning and organizing our entire pantry. It may not sound like much to you...but I know, as many of you do, that having a decluttered life allows clarity of thought...and an openness for great things to come into my life!

Amazing Day!

Wow! What an amazing day! Today I was on Megan Gala's Everyday Wisdom radio program on blogtalkradio.com. It was soooo incredible! I will post a link to this radio program as soon as possible.

I'll tell you about it!

First of all, I want to introduce Megan Gala to you. She is the founder of The Love More Project. She is a media visionary and a clear channel of love and light. When I went to California in March I was on a mission to expand my horizons for my life. Megan was giving intuitive readings in the Angel store in Benicia California. I only saw her for a moment, and it was a profound moment! I had an intuitive hit that showed up like a visual spark. I called her immediately and had an intuitive reading from her soon afterwards...and working with her has been expanding my horizons! Her website is thelovemoreproject.com.

A few weeks ago she and I had another conversation, and my entire spiritualweightlosscoach.com website came directly from the chanting I did after that conversation!

Today's show was a testament to her ingenuity, openness and intelligence. She really wanted to learn more about the practice of Buddhism, and at the same time all her listeners had an education as well.

I covered my favorite points...the fact that desires are GOOD in this practice...that your life is totally interconnected with the universe, in fact...you ARE the universe...we talked about the rebirth of the SGI in wartime Japan...and the meaning of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.

Megan was having a glitch preventing callers from getting through...and when one caller got through it turned out to be my dear friend Julia, who recently started chanting. Julia said she'd chanted to get through to the station...making herself the perfect example of putting the practice into action! Breathtaking! Julia talked about working with me and chanting and changing her life...how she'd discovered that she had MRSA in a wound (a superbug) and how her husband keyed her into an herbal way to cure it...and she has really had so many breakthroughs that I know about as well.

We ended by me chanting on the air. I rang the bell, chanted Nam myoho Renge Kyo three times and chanted for a few minutes at varying speeds. Then I ended with three daimoku.

Megan gave her listeners a few moments of silence to take it in. And we ended the program. Thank you Megan! I look forward to working with you again soon!

Radio Today

Today I am being interviewed on Megan Gala's Everyday Wisdom radio program. The interview will take place at 1pm Central time.

If you would like to listen live go to blogtalkradio.com at 1pm and click on the button that says "on the air now" and choose the show.

You can listen later if you can't listen live.

Right now I am heading back to the Gohonzon to chant some more this morning!

Chanting...Dependent Origination

This month's Living Buddhism Magazine (can be ordered through sgi-usa.com) is focused on a Buddhist concept called Dependent Origination. It means that all of life is dependent on all the rest of life...nothing exists in a vacuum and all work together at every moment. It is the reason that sometimes in life...everything is going great...and other times...everything seems to be hitting the skids.

When you chant and devote your life to your own, and everyone else's happiness (i.e. work for Kosen Rufu - as we Buddhists would put it) you become very aware of the workings of dependent origination.

This concept is at the root of this incredible week I've had...and why my coaching business is really taking off. (spiritualweightlosscoach.com) The fact that my son Ben's senior year dream of his whole team going to the state meet for Cross country is happening...well...that is also no coincidence because it is all tied together in the web of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo - dependent origination.

This is the true beauty of this practice...if you devote your life to your own desires...the happiness of others...and the study of Buddhist principles...your life can literally soar like the eagles. Anything that seems like a problem is so small and so dim...you see it from the air...but it doesn't penetrate your life...doesn't cause you to suffer as much as it might have in the past.

Devoting your life to your own desires is the reason I embraced this practice. I think in this society, because of our cultural Christian heritage, many people distrust or feel guilty for their own desires. It is ingrained in so many of us. Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism is a revolutionary practice because it is through chanting for your desires that you can obtain the greatest happiness..and bring happiness to all around you...even if you THINK your desires aren't so good...they are the core of who you are...and when you chant for them...

your desires will naturally transform into the desires that truly bring you the most happiness. This is the core of the practice for me...and why I am heading into my 26th year of chanting every day, twice a day with my desires in mind. Think about it...when you are happy...aren't those around you basking in your glow too? Don't you BRING happiness wherever you go...to your family...your kids...your parents...the grocery store...the bank...EVERYWHERE? Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo digs deep into the core of your life...releasing the beautiful universe inside for all to see and experience!!!

Cross Country is headed to state!

Another exciting day and it's not over yet!
Today Ben came in third in the regional Cross Country Meet and the whole team qualified to run in the state race! The Downers Grove North girls team also qualified and could take the state title!

What an amazing time for the legendary coach Kup's final season before retirement, and Ben's senior year. He looked so strong!

And tonight...well tonight I get to dress up as a cave woman and have a ball! I love my life!

Keeps getting better and better!

Here I am using my cool new macbook air from my comfortable warm chair in my favorite room...

And both of the people I am coaching are having the most incredible breakthroughs!

The person I'm doing life coaching with is realizing more and more about patterns she has that make her feel bad about her wonderfully productive life. She's appreciating herself more, and getting less down on herself. She is in the process of changing the insidious karma of being a perfectionist...being her own worst enemy. This kind of negative energy can totally keep a person stuck. It is karma that has run through her family...she believes her father's death was the result of this perfectionism...believing you've never done enough...and will never be good enough. With the use of me as her coach...and the chanting of heartfelt daimoku...she is going to change this karma! She is going to feel good and satisfied with every day...and reach each one of her life goals! THAT is the power of coaching!!!

The person I'm coaching for weight loss is just glowing. She is chanting to strengthen her life...and I can see her energy rising! She is so excited, and already feeling she has less of an appetite and is thinner after less than a week of coaching!!

And my personal life is so happy...my sons are good...my friends are amazing and a certain, special friend inspires me so much!

Moving Ahead

OMG! I am writing this from my brand new Macbook Air! It is such an amazingly thin little laptop. For many years I have watched the laptop business...waiting until the right one would come along for me...and it is HERE! This laptop is about as heavy as a spiral notebook, and so sleek and sexy. And my experiences in the Apple store have been so wonderful. Yesterday, when I was buying my new laptop (after quite a while spent pondering size and power level) I told my young salesperson I have a crush on Steve Jobs. "So do I!" was this very straight young man's reply! I am really looking forward to taking advantage of the one on one learning sessions I will be taking. I will learn to master this mac...the movie creation for my web site...the photos...everything. This is the perfect tool for me to really be able to reach and help people!

Right now I am working with two coaching clients. Actually I shouldn't even call it "working". It is so much fun and so productive for all of us. I learn from them and they are so receptive to my coaching. Coaching really comes from a collaboration between two people. I ask the questions that help each person determine exactly what the next steps are for them...of course they already KNOW...I just help draw that wisdom forth, and they know we will talk again tomorrow and they will get to share their successes and challenges with me again!

Being accountable to a coach opens the way for huge breakthroughs. In weight loss coaching I have specific meditations and assignments. In life coaching a structure exists, but the focus is on other goals the person has, not on weight loss. This is the work I was born to do. I know the people I was meant to attract are coming my way to be profoundly helped by working with me!!!!

Last night my fabulous Buddhist District took the Entrance Examination. I am so proud of my new young Buddhists. They all studied...presented material...and took the test. Study is integral to this practice...each one of them...and all our district members are getting happier each day.

Today I have already chanted more than three hours...I am determined to break through to a deeper level of happiness than I have ever experienced. Onward and upward!!!!

New Website DONE!

OK! I did it! I designed a website for my business called spiritualweightlosscoach.com !!! Take a look at it and see what you think. I'm open to feedback. I think all of this modern technology is just a miracle that keeps getting better every single day! I love the idea of being able to reach people all over the world. I love the fact that I was able to create this website entirely on my own. Each picture is like a little miracle. "I did it! I did it!" I kept telling my son Ben.

I have my first weight loss client, and we'll start tomorrow with the "before pictures" and get into the program. I'm in the process of designing the rest of the materials...videos...mp3s...books. I'll post my book as an ebook on the site as well. I think I need to get one of those new macbook laptops that are so thin and so powerful...I think I need one tomorrow!

Big storms are coming in to the Chicago Area and I hope they don't blow all the leaves off my beautiful trees. It is a feast for the eyes everywhere you look right now. Today was warm and I walked for about an hour and a half.

On Wednesday night we have a Buddhist exam for our meeting. Study is very important in this practice...it helps us to get more benefits and see the inside of our lives.

ADVANCING!

These are exciting times. I just designed a website! Tomorrow I'll change the url, then I'll let you know what it is. It's so exciting, embarking on this new endeavor. I am using the spiritual weight loss tools I used to help others to lose weight.

I'm a Spiritual Weight Loss Coach! If I can do it, anyone can!

And I know I can help anyone who is ready, and will listen to me, to lose weight too!

My web site has been entirely written while chanting daimoku and holding a pen. The ideas have just been flowing forth. I will be adding to it, but it's ready to go right now...and I did it myself, with help from Intuit. They were great! I wholeheartedly endorse them!

Great Day for the Silver Boys

Ben ran in a meet for the first time in five weeks and came in second. He's been trying to fix an injured right foot...back and forth to the Podiatry office! He felt good today and helped get his team to regionals for cross country.
Aaron is the president of the running club at the University of Illinois and he set a personal record by 30 seconds today and his club came in first in regionals!

It was a rainy cloudy morning, but the sun has come out revealing a beautiful fall day. Lovely!

This week at our Buddhist meeting we'll be taking an elementary Buddhist exam. Study is very important in Buddhism...the more you study the stronger your faith. When you study you see your whole life as a sequence of perfect events leading to your happiness...set backs reveal themselves as benefits and it all comes together when you deepen your faith as you chant!

I have a job interview this week for a place I think I'd really like to work...and all sorts of things in the works. And I feel happier than ever.
Woohoo!

Changing relationship karma!

Wow, hasn't it been a wonderful fall?
It has been so marvelous to be free and in the Arboretum... and walking in the leaves. I'm strengthening my body and preparing my life for what's next.
I have changed some major karma. Here it is, many moons from having lost 70 pounds...and not only am I keeping it off...I am also reshaping my body through pilates. I am still amazed when I try on clothes. Yesterday I tried on a small, sexy dress at Von Maur and could not believe it fit. It was so thrilling that I took a picture! (OMG I love my smartphone) I don't have to buy every single thing just because it fits or looks good. You know ~ when you're heavy that's pretty much what you do...now I am leading a different life thanks to chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! This karma is changed! Check!
NOW I want to help others to lose weight. I always felt that losing the weight was part of my mission in life. Now that I've done it I want to help others to do it too! I concentrated on spiritual weight loss...and the physical came after that. I didn't analyze all the reasons I ate...I already KNEW them! I just focused my daimoku and chanted and meditated. If I can do it I can teach anyone to do it...but they have to be ready and willing to do what I say!!!
What's next? Relationship karma! I really feel my Mom, and my incredible healing friend Julia, working on this with me. I know my Mom was sad in her chosen relationship...and didn't have daimoku to change that core of sadness in her life...I know many people who have had unhappy mothers too...and I know it is MY KARMA TO CHANGE...for the sake of my children...for the sake of their children...for the sake of everyone who wants to be happy in love! I am determined to be in the happiest state of loving another person...someone who truly sees who I am, practices Buddhism with me, and together we glow and grow and laugh and travel and love! He's healthy, he's optimistic and he loves to have fun. I know this is possible for me. I know he's out there...probably looking for me! I have so much to look forward to!

Feeling the effects!

My son and I are really feeling the effects of our chanting.

Yesterday he told me that there were always people at his High School that he "kind of" fit in with...but there was some sort of barrier...either in his head or imagined...he still felt like an outsider with these people.
NOW he says that all those people have become real friends...and his "group" has expanded exponentially.

I replied that I know exactly what he was talking about...only when I was his age it was my weight that was a barrier between me and others and now that barrier is gone!

Wonderful Buddhist Conference!

I just returned from The Florida Nature Culture Center and I have a gift for all the new friends I just met, and for all of you.

These two quotes were in the Ikeda Hall. They speak volumes about the Soka School System founded by Daisaku Ikeda. Read them and let me know what you think!

"Education at its best
is a process of liberation from prejudice
which frees the human heart
from its violent passions.
It is through education that young people
can be delivered from powerlessness,
from the burden of mistrust
directed against themselves.
And those who have learned to trust in themselves
are naturally able to believe
in the latent capacity of others."

And this address to the students of Soka University:

"The world in which we live today,
jarred as it is by inexorable, dramatic change
demands new expressions of creative wisdom.
It eagerly awaits the appearance
of individuals who are imbued with vision and energy,
who can be trusted to build a grander, better world.
It is you, students and graduates of Soka
who will meet the lofty expectations of our era
by serving as pioneers of a new frontier this century.
For you embrace a robust philosophy
that reveres the inherent dignity of life.
I ask you to inspire hope where there is suffering,
strengthen unity where there is conflict,
and impel progress where there is stagnation,
and in doing so, usher in a global renaissance
by fulfilling the roles you were meant to fill."

Great Results

You should just see me walking! Already, almost 4 weeks after hip surgery, I have much more flexibility than I had for the past few years! I am walking around the park by my house...and feeling really good! I am still doing all of my exercises very faithfully, and I can feel myself getting stronger.

Tonight's Buddhist meeting rocked again! There were 14 people here including two guests. One of the guests is going to get his Gohonzon next week at the meeting - on my 50th Birthday! That's the best gift I could possibly get! We will have 6 youth division members (or more) at the meeting next week. THAT is actual proof that chanting works, because we have been chanting for Downers Grove to be the center of youth division activity in our region!

This is so exciting. I feel so fortunate...so incredibly grateful...to be able to help these young people achieve their goals and overcome their sufferings!

Still Recovering

Well I am working so hard all day long! The physical therapist comes here every other day, and I do my exercises all day long, on and off. I can feel myself getting stronger, and every once in a while I get a glimmer of what a life without pain would be like. It is three weeks today since the surgery. And I wish I could say I felt good as new!
What I hope for tonight is to sleep well. I took some sleeping pills already, in the hopes that I might get to sleep earlier than 3:00am.

Last night was an amazing Buddhist meeting at my house. We had five guests! It was such incredible energy...so happy...so exciting. Everyone could feel it! We all explained how we all possess the power of the universe, and it is up to us to draw it forth. It all makes so much sense! We had two youth at the meeting and three women from my neighborhood. I hope all our guests give this life-changing practice a try!

When the student is ready...the teacher will appear

It has been an exciting few days helping 2 precious new members learn how to practice. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

I remember what it was like to be in the youth division of the SGI...it is a special time when you can grow in unprecedented ways and make friends that you will treasure for life.

Due to all the chanting of the members of our district we now have two brand new 20 year old young women so eager to learn! Today they spent three hours at my house practicing gongyo and chanting daimoku. It is not easy to learn gongyo...it has it's own rhythm and style. But once you learn it...it becomes so energizing to recite!
And it overcomes all language barriers. Once you learn it you can chant anywhere in the world together with SGI members. When you recite Gongyo you are literally reciting the words from the Lotus Sutra. You are joining your microcosm with the macrocosm of the universe...drawing forth the power that has always been yours...channeling it in the direction of your desires!

You are speaking the words of Shakyamuni Buddha...
and of course that makes total sense because
YOU ARE A BUDDHA! SO ARE WE ALL!

It ends with the deep prayer:

"At all times I think to myself:
How can I cause living beings
to gain entry into the unsurpassed way
and quickly acquire the body of a buddha"

There are several goals that my new young friends have...and I am going to chant for each of them and help them achieve their dreams. It will be so wonderful watching them grow in faith and become happier and happier and more certain of the power of their faith. Soon we will have many youth in our district! They are the leaders for the future. It is an honor to help them as I was helped by my seniors in faith so many years ago!

Hip Surgery Successful

OK, I'm not going to say that it was fun...having my right hip replaced...but I think the worst is over and I am home recovering. Yes, I am using my Mom's walker...and I am still on pain meds...but I look forward to the day that I won't be on meds and won't be in pain and will be able to climb to the top of Mt. Tamalpais (or any other mountain) on my own.
I really had an amazing doctor, and this new anterior approach to hip surgery does cut down on recovery time etc...but it is still major surgery.

There are two things I observed. One is that the anesthesia and surgery affected me more emotionally than I thought it would. I went into the surgery pretty calm, and came out of it scared to death...and remained scared and frail for several days.
The other important benefit I see is how much I have changed my "friend" karma over the years. Oh my goodness, there were so many wonderful people to support me all along the way. And they were surprised when I answered their requests for "what can I bring?" SO now I have the September issues of all my favorite magazines! I've got to say the Vogue this month really rocks! Every page is a feast for the eyes...many of men and women...lots of fashion. I've been reading it for days and it will take me weeks to finish!
Seriously...my dear friends have been connecting with me from all over the world. And let me tell you my life wasn't always like this, oh no. I was severely "friend challenged" for many years. I remember sitting in front of my Gohonzon and crying in San Francisco, and only having a few friends my whole life before that. I've really changed some karma here. There are so many people I care deeply about...and so many who saw me through some rough times.
Right now I'm busy editing this blog to turn it into a book! I'm so excited about this. And I'm preparing for my 50th birthday coming up on the 22nd of September.

I still can't believe I had the courage to do this. When I got home a few days ago I chanted in wonder that I could have done such a scary thing. I thanked my life for having the courage....for being strong enough to take the medicine...for undergoing the whole thing.

My 17 year old editor

It turns out that my son Ben is an incredibly talented editor. I'm going through the last year of the blog and preparing it for publishing...and Ben can just see and feel exactly what I want to say. He has enough distance from the material to be able to question parts that are really too vague, and enough closeness with me to know the heart of my message.

What lovely days these are...enjoying summer...enjoying my new tiny self...and creating...creating...creating!

Here we are...

A year later..and so much stronger.

Think of how much I have changed.

A year ago
...my marriage was finished, had been finished for some time...but I was too scared to do anything about it. My whole life was on hold. It felt like it wasn't my "real" life...that somehow my "real" life would start only when I'd gotten the courage to make the changes I knew I had to make. But I didn't have that courage last year...no...not by a long shot.

...I had recently regained some of the weight I was always struggling to lose...it was going up...up...up when I started this blog.

...I was hobbling in pain, and determined to solve it...

...I was a "closet" writer. I had dreams of publishing and writing many books to help people. I'd seen how Buddhist parenting worked with my own kids, and what marvelous men they are blossoming into...all without ever hitting them, and without them fighting with each other. I'd seen how powerfully this practice impacted the work environment...and all my relationships. I always felt I had so much to share...but when I sat down to write a book it felt contrite...forced...and I lacked any confidence.

What I did have was hope. I had a practice that had seen me through life for the last 24 years...and it was time to really put the wheels in motion and challenge myself to chant two hours a day.

And because of the deep desire to have my life impact others...I started this blog, and took you all on my journey.

Through this year we went through some additional heartbreak...even Buddhists cannot avoid problems...or death. And as you know, my sweet Mommy died in November. And after that I realized with new wisdom, that my life was going to end too...and I couldn't keep it on hold any longer. I really could not keep my life in dress rehearsal mode any longer. So I summoned the courage, based on my prayers to access the power of the universe within, to put the divorce in motion.

And ironically I was laid off of my job...but the courage didn't fade...the courage had become a part of my life. And even as I am writing this I do not know exactly how I will carry it all off. I just know that I will.

And over the year...the heartbreak became less and less..the sadness still comes every once in a while but it is not as deep and I continue to challenge it with chanting.

And I stand here today with a whole new life ahead of me...one without pain...I hope!
...One where I live permanently seventy pounds lighter...
...one I share eventually with a new partner who will delight me as much as I delight him...
...and a blooming confidence in my own ability to live the life of my dreams as a writer.

It is no coincidence that my favorite publishing house...the one I always knew would be best for my works...Hay House of course...just established a self publishing arm. It took exactly a minute for me to decide to publish through them, Balboa Press.

So a new journey is beginning. After one year I have an entirely new life. I will still be blogging...and inspiring more and more and more and more...

A year of chanting!

What have I learned?
How have I grown?

I have challenged so much during this year of chanting 2 hours a day.

This month on the 19th I will face hip surgery to replace my right hip. A year ago I was not able to even think about this! I feel strong now, and I will be ready for this surgery...and it will help me to get back to hiking, dancing, walking!

I have greatly overcome the deep, deep sadness I used to feel all the time. I no longer live at the depths of my sadness. I have raised the level of the feelings I feel most often. I have turned a major page. I still have a ways to go...but there has been a major change.

I am in the process of creating a new life for myself.
At the moment I am working on turning this blog into a book...so you can read it from start to finish...and so that you can really benefit from it.

I am in the process of creating a whole new life for myself after the surgery. I will create a new job for myself and a new home. Obviously I can't stop chanting yet!

I no longer feel hungry for food all the time.

I am aware of many things I have yet to change.

Today I sat and wrote a whole new list of goals.

I like to start my goals with the phrase "Wouldn't it be nice if..."
I'll share some of them with you tomorrow~