Radio Today

Today I am being interviewed on Megan Gala's Everyday Wisdom radio program. The interview will take place at 1pm Central time.

If you would like to listen live go to blogtalkradio.com at 1pm and click on the button that says "on the air now" and choose the show.

You can listen later if you can't listen live.

Right now I am heading back to the Gohonzon to chant some more this morning!

Chanting...Dependent Origination

This month's Living Buddhism Magazine (can be ordered through sgi-usa.com) is focused on a Buddhist concept called Dependent Origination. It means that all of life is dependent on all the rest of life...nothing exists in a vacuum and all work together at every moment. It is the reason that sometimes in life...everything is going great...and other times...everything seems to be hitting the skids.

When you chant and devote your life to your own, and everyone else's happiness (i.e. work for Kosen Rufu - as we Buddhists would put it) you become very aware of the workings of dependent origination.

This concept is at the root of this incredible week I've had...and why my coaching business is really taking off. (spiritualweightlosscoach.com) The fact that my son Ben's senior year dream of his whole team going to the state meet for Cross country is happening...well...that is also no coincidence because it is all tied together in the web of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo - dependent origination.

This is the true beauty of this practice...if you devote your life to your own desires...the happiness of others...and the study of Buddhist principles...your life can literally soar like the eagles. Anything that seems like a problem is so small and so dim...you see it from the air...but it doesn't penetrate your life...doesn't cause you to suffer as much as it might have in the past.

Devoting your life to your own desires is the reason I embraced this practice. I think in this society, because of our cultural Christian heritage, many people distrust or feel guilty for their own desires. It is ingrained in so many of us. Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism is a revolutionary practice because it is through chanting for your desires that you can obtain the greatest happiness..and bring happiness to all around you...even if you THINK your desires aren't so good...they are the core of who you are...and when you chant for them...

your desires will naturally transform into the desires that truly bring you the most happiness. This is the core of the practice for me...and why I am heading into my 26th year of chanting every day, twice a day with my desires in mind. Think about it...when you are happy...aren't those around you basking in your glow too? Don't you BRING happiness wherever you go...to your family...your kids...your parents...the grocery store...the bank...EVERYWHERE? Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo digs deep into the core of your life...releasing the beautiful universe inside for all to see and experience!!!

Cross Country is headed to state!

Another exciting day and it's not over yet!
Today Ben came in third in the regional Cross Country Meet and the whole team qualified to run in the state race! The Downers Grove North girls team also qualified and could take the state title!

What an amazing time for the legendary coach Kup's final season before retirement, and Ben's senior year. He looked so strong!

And tonight...well tonight I get to dress up as a cave woman and have a ball! I love my life!

Keeps getting better and better!

Here I am using my cool new macbook air from my comfortable warm chair in my favorite room...

And both of the people I am coaching are having the most incredible breakthroughs!

The person I'm doing life coaching with is realizing more and more about patterns she has that make her feel bad about her wonderfully productive life. She's appreciating herself more, and getting less down on herself. She is in the process of changing the insidious karma of being a perfectionist...being her own worst enemy. This kind of negative energy can totally keep a person stuck. It is karma that has run through her family...she believes her father's death was the result of this perfectionism...believing you've never done enough...and will never be good enough. With the use of me as her coach...and the chanting of heartfelt daimoku...she is going to change this karma! She is going to feel good and satisfied with every day...and reach each one of her life goals! THAT is the power of coaching!!!

The person I'm coaching for weight loss is just glowing. She is chanting to strengthen her life...and I can see her energy rising! She is so excited, and already feeling she has less of an appetite and is thinner after less than a week of coaching!!

And my personal life is so happy...my sons are good...my friends are amazing and a certain, special friend inspires me so much!

Moving Ahead

OMG! I am writing this from my brand new Macbook Air! It is such an amazingly thin little laptop. For many years I have watched the laptop business...waiting until the right one would come along for me...and it is HERE! This laptop is about as heavy as a spiral notebook, and so sleek and sexy. And my experiences in the Apple store have been so wonderful. Yesterday, when I was buying my new laptop (after quite a while spent pondering size and power level) I told my young salesperson I have a crush on Steve Jobs. "So do I!" was this very straight young man's reply! I am really looking forward to taking advantage of the one on one learning sessions I will be taking. I will learn to master this mac...the movie creation for my web site...the photos...everything. This is the perfect tool for me to really be able to reach and help people!

Right now I am working with two coaching clients. Actually I shouldn't even call it "working". It is so much fun and so productive for all of us. I learn from them and they are so receptive to my coaching. Coaching really comes from a collaboration between two people. I ask the questions that help each person determine exactly what the next steps are for them...of course they already KNOW...I just help draw that wisdom forth, and they know we will talk again tomorrow and they will get to share their successes and challenges with me again!

Being accountable to a coach opens the way for huge breakthroughs. In weight loss coaching I have specific meditations and assignments. In life coaching a structure exists, but the focus is on other goals the person has, not on weight loss. This is the work I was born to do. I know the people I was meant to attract are coming my way to be profoundly helped by working with me!!!!

Last night my fabulous Buddhist District took the Entrance Examination. I am so proud of my new young Buddhists. They all studied...presented material...and took the test. Study is integral to this practice...each one of them...and all our district members are getting happier each day.

Today I have already chanted more than three hours...I am determined to break through to a deeper level of happiness than I have ever experienced. Onward and upward!!!!

New Website DONE!

OK! I did it! I designed a website for my business called spiritualweightlosscoach.com !!! Take a look at it and see what you think. I'm open to feedback. I think all of this modern technology is just a miracle that keeps getting better every single day! I love the idea of being able to reach people all over the world. I love the fact that I was able to create this website entirely on my own. Each picture is like a little miracle. "I did it! I did it!" I kept telling my son Ben.

I have my first weight loss client, and we'll start tomorrow with the "before pictures" and get into the program. I'm in the process of designing the rest of the materials...videos...mp3s...books. I'll post my book as an ebook on the site as well. I think I need to get one of those new macbook laptops that are so thin and so powerful...I think I need one tomorrow!

Big storms are coming in to the Chicago Area and I hope they don't blow all the leaves off my beautiful trees. It is a feast for the eyes everywhere you look right now. Today was warm and I walked for about an hour and a half.

On Wednesday night we have a Buddhist exam for our meeting. Study is very important in this practice...it helps us to get more benefits and see the inside of our lives.

ADVANCING!

These are exciting times. I just designed a website! Tomorrow I'll change the url, then I'll let you know what it is. It's so exciting, embarking on this new endeavor. I am using the spiritual weight loss tools I used to help others to lose weight.

I'm a Spiritual Weight Loss Coach! If I can do it, anyone can!

And I know I can help anyone who is ready, and will listen to me, to lose weight too!

My web site has been entirely written while chanting daimoku and holding a pen. The ideas have just been flowing forth. I will be adding to it, but it's ready to go right now...and I did it myself, with help from Intuit. They were great! I wholeheartedly endorse them!

Great Day for the Silver Boys

Ben ran in a meet for the first time in five weeks and came in second. He's been trying to fix an injured right foot...back and forth to the Podiatry office! He felt good today and helped get his team to regionals for cross country.
Aaron is the president of the running club at the University of Illinois and he set a personal record by 30 seconds today and his club came in first in regionals!

It was a rainy cloudy morning, but the sun has come out revealing a beautiful fall day. Lovely!

This week at our Buddhist meeting we'll be taking an elementary Buddhist exam. Study is very important in Buddhism...the more you study the stronger your faith. When you study you see your whole life as a sequence of perfect events leading to your happiness...set backs reveal themselves as benefits and it all comes together when you deepen your faith as you chant!

I have a job interview this week for a place I think I'd really like to work...and all sorts of things in the works. And I feel happier than ever.
Woohoo!

Changing relationship karma!

Wow, hasn't it been a wonderful fall?
It has been so marvelous to be free and in the Arboretum... and walking in the leaves. I'm strengthening my body and preparing my life for what's next.
I have changed some major karma. Here it is, many moons from having lost 70 pounds...and not only am I keeping it off...I am also reshaping my body through pilates. I am still amazed when I try on clothes. Yesterday I tried on a small, sexy dress at Von Maur and could not believe it fit. It was so thrilling that I took a picture! (OMG I love my smartphone) I don't have to buy every single thing just because it fits or looks good. You know ~ when you're heavy that's pretty much what you do...now I am leading a different life thanks to chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! This karma is changed! Check!
NOW I want to help others to lose weight. I always felt that losing the weight was part of my mission in life. Now that I've done it I want to help others to do it too! I concentrated on spiritual weight loss...and the physical came after that. I didn't analyze all the reasons I ate...I already KNEW them! I just focused my daimoku and chanted and meditated. If I can do it I can teach anyone to do it...but they have to be ready and willing to do what I say!!!
What's next? Relationship karma! I really feel my Mom, and my incredible healing friend Julia, working on this with me. I know my Mom was sad in her chosen relationship...and didn't have daimoku to change that core of sadness in her life...I know many people who have had unhappy mothers too...and I know it is MY KARMA TO CHANGE...for the sake of my children...for the sake of their children...for the sake of everyone who wants to be happy in love! I am determined to be in the happiest state of loving another person...someone who truly sees who I am, practices Buddhism with me, and together we glow and grow and laugh and travel and love! He's healthy, he's optimistic and he loves to have fun. I know this is possible for me. I know he's out there...probably looking for me! I have so much to look forward to!

Feeling the effects!

My son and I are really feeling the effects of our chanting.

Yesterday he told me that there were always people at his High School that he "kind of" fit in with...but there was some sort of barrier...either in his head or imagined...he still felt like an outsider with these people.
NOW he says that all those people have become real friends...and his "group" has expanded exponentially.

I replied that I know exactly what he was talking about...only when I was his age it was my weight that was a barrier between me and others and now that barrier is gone!

Wonderful Buddhist Conference!

I just returned from The Florida Nature Culture Center and I have a gift for all the new friends I just met, and for all of you.

These two quotes were in the Ikeda Hall. They speak volumes about the Soka School System founded by Daisaku Ikeda. Read them and let me know what you think!

"Education at its best
is a process of liberation from prejudice
which frees the human heart
from its violent passions.
It is through education that young people
can be delivered from powerlessness,
from the burden of mistrust
directed against themselves.
And those who have learned to trust in themselves
are naturally able to believe
in the latent capacity of others."

And this address to the students of Soka University:

"The world in which we live today,
jarred as it is by inexorable, dramatic change
demands new expressions of creative wisdom.
It eagerly awaits the appearance
of individuals who are imbued with vision and energy,
who can be trusted to build a grander, better world.
It is you, students and graduates of Soka
who will meet the lofty expectations of our era
by serving as pioneers of a new frontier this century.
For you embrace a robust philosophy
that reveres the inherent dignity of life.
I ask you to inspire hope where there is suffering,
strengthen unity where there is conflict,
and impel progress where there is stagnation,
and in doing so, usher in a global renaissance
by fulfilling the roles you were meant to fill."

Great Results

You should just see me walking! Already, almost 4 weeks after hip surgery, I have much more flexibility than I had for the past few years! I am walking around the park by my house...and feeling really good! I am still doing all of my exercises very faithfully, and I can feel myself getting stronger.

Tonight's Buddhist meeting rocked again! There were 14 people here including two guests. One of the guests is going to get his Gohonzon next week at the meeting - on my 50th Birthday! That's the best gift I could possibly get! We will have 6 youth division members (or more) at the meeting next week. THAT is actual proof that chanting works, because we have been chanting for Downers Grove to be the center of youth division activity in our region!

This is so exciting. I feel so fortunate...so incredibly grateful...to be able to help these young people achieve their goals and overcome their sufferings!

Still Recovering

Well I am working so hard all day long! The physical therapist comes here every other day, and I do my exercises all day long, on and off. I can feel myself getting stronger, and every once in a while I get a glimmer of what a life without pain would be like. It is three weeks today since the surgery. And I wish I could say I felt good as new!
What I hope for tonight is to sleep well. I took some sleeping pills already, in the hopes that I might get to sleep earlier than 3:00am.

Last night was an amazing Buddhist meeting at my house. We had five guests! It was such incredible energy...so happy...so exciting. Everyone could feel it! We all explained how we all possess the power of the universe, and it is up to us to draw it forth. It all makes so much sense! We had two youth at the meeting and three women from my neighborhood. I hope all our guests give this life-changing practice a try!

When the student is ready...the teacher will appear

It has been an exciting few days helping 2 precious new members learn how to practice. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

I remember what it was like to be in the youth division of the SGI...it is a special time when you can grow in unprecedented ways and make friends that you will treasure for life.

Due to all the chanting of the members of our district we now have two brand new 20 year old young women so eager to learn! Today they spent three hours at my house practicing gongyo and chanting daimoku. It is not easy to learn gongyo...it has it's own rhythm and style. But once you learn it...it becomes so energizing to recite!
And it overcomes all language barriers. Once you learn it you can chant anywhere in the world together with SGI members. When you recite Gongyo you are literally reciting the words from the Lotus Sutra. You are joining your microcosm with the macrocosm of the universe...drawing forth the power that has always been yours...channeling it in the direction of your desires!

You are speaking the words of Shakyamuni Buddha...
and of course that makes total sense because
YOU ARE A BUDDHA! SO ARE WE ALL!

It ends with the deep prayer:

"At all times I think to myself:
How can I cause living beings
to gain entry into the unsurpassed way
and quickly acquire the body of a buddha"

There are several goals that my new young friends have...and I am going to chant for each of them and help them achieve their dreams. It will be so wonderful watching them grow in faith and become happier and happier and more certain of the power of their faith. Soon we will have many youth in our district! They are the leaders for the future. It is an honor to help them as I was helped by my seniors in faith so many years ago!

Hip Surgery Successful

OK, I'm not going to say that it was fun...having my right hip replaced...but I think the worst is over and I am home recovering. Yes, I am using my Mom's walker...and I am still on pain meds...but I look forward to the day that I won't be on meds and won't be in pain and will be able to climb to the top of Mt. Tamalpais (or any other mountain) on my own.
I really had an amazing doctor, and this new anterior approach to hip surgery does cut down on recovery time etc...but it is still major surgery.

There are two things I observed. One is that the anesthesia and surgery affected me more emotionally than I thought it would. I went into the surgery pretty calm, and came out of it scared to death...and remained scared and frail for several days.
The other important benefit I see is how much I have changed my "friend" karma over the years. Oh my goodness, there were so many wonderful people to support me all along the way. And they were surprised when I answered their requests for "what can I bring?" SO now I have the September issues of all my favorite magazines! I've got to say the Vogue this month really rocks! Every page is a feast for the eyes...many of men and women...lots of fashion. I've been reading it for days and it will take me weeks to finish!
Seriously...my dear friends have been connecting with me from all over the world. And let me tell you my life wasn't always like this, oh no. I was severely "friend challenged" for many years. I remember sitting in front of my Gohonzon and crying in San Francisco, and only having a few friends my whole life before that. I've really changed some karma here. There are so many people I care deeply about...and so many who saw me through some rough times.
Right now I'm busy editing this blog to turn it into a book! I'm so excited about this. And I'm preparing for my 50th birthday coming up on the 22nd of September.

I still can't believe I had the courage to do this. When I got home a few days ago I chanted in wonder that I could have done such a scary thing. I thanked my life for having the courage....for being strong enough to take the medicine...for undergoing the whole thing.

My 17 year old editor

It turns out that my son Ben is an incredibly talented editor. I'm going through the last year of the blog and preparing it for publishing...and Ben can just see and feel exactly what I want to say. He has enough distance from the material to be able to question parts that are really too vague, and enough closeness with me to know the heart of my message.

What lovely days these are...enjoying summer...enjoying my new tiny self...and creating...creating...creating!

Here we are...

A year later..and so much stronger.

Think of how much I have changed.

A year ago
...my marriage was finished, had been finished for some time...but I was too scared to do anything about it. My whole life was on hold. It felt like it wasn't my "real" life...that somehow my "real" life would start only when I'd gotten the courage to make the changes I knew I had to make. But I didn't have that courage last year...no...not by a long shot.

...I had recently regained some of the weight I was always struggling to lose...it was going up...up...up when I started this blog.

...I was hobbling in pain, and determined to solve it...

...I was a "closet" writer. I had dreams of publishing and writing many books to help people. I'd seen how Buddhist parenting worked with my own kids, and what marvelous men they are blossoming into...all without ever hitting them, and without them fighting with each other. I'd seen how powerfully this practice impacted the work environment...and all my relationships. I always felt I had so much to share...but when I sat down to write a book it felt contrite...forced...and I lacked any confidence.

What I did have was hope. I had a practice that had seen me through life for the last 24 years...and it was time to really put the wheels in motion and challenge myself to chant two hours a day.

And because of the deep desire to have my life impact others...I started this blog, and took you all on my journey.

Through this year we went through some additional heartbreak...even Buddhists cannot avoid problems...or death. And as you know, my sweet Mommy died in November. And after that I realized with new wisdom, that my life was going to end too...and I couldn't keep it on hold any longer. I really could not keep my life in dress rehearsal mode any longer. So I summoned the courage, based on my prayers to access the power of the universe within, to put the divorce in motion.

And ironically I was laid off of my job...but the courage didn't fade...the courage had become a part of my life. And even as I am writing this I do not know exactly how I will carry it all off. I just know that I will.

And over the year...the heartbreak became less and less..the sadness still comes every once in a while but it is not as deep and I continue to challenge it with chanting.

And I stand here today with a whole new life ahead of me...one without pain...I hope!
...One where I live permanently seventy pounds lighter...
...one I share eventually with a new partner who will delight me as much as I delight him...
...and a blooming confidence in my own ability to live the life of my dreams as a writer.

It is no coincidence that my favorite publishing house...the one I always knew would be best for my works...Hay House of course...just established a self publishing arm. It took exactly a minute for me to decide to publish through them, Balboa Press.

So a new journey is beginning. After one year I have an entirely new life. I will still be blogging...and inspiring more and more and more and more...

A year of chanting!

What have I learned?
How have I grown?

I have challenged so much during this year of chanting 2 hours a day.

This month on the 19th I will face hip surgery to replace my right hip. A year ago I was not able to even think about this! I feel strong now, and I will be ready for this surgery...and it will help me to get back to hiking, dancing, walking!

I have greatly overcome the deep, deep sadness I used to feel all the time. I no longer live at the depths of my sadness. I have raised the level of the feelings I feel most often. I have turned a major page. I still have a ways to go...but there has been a major change.

I am in the process of creating a new life for myself.
At the moment I am working on turning this blog into a book...so you can read it from start to finish...and so that you can really benefit from it.

I am in the process of creating a whole new life for myself after the surgery. I will create a new job for myself and a new home. Obviously I can't stop chanting yet!

I no longer feel hungry for food all the time.

I am aware of many things I have yet to change.

Today I sat and wrote a whole new list of goals.

I like to start my goals with the phrase "Wouldn't it be nice if..."
I'll share some of them with you tomorrow~

Today is the day

It has been a year today since I started chanting 2 hours a day!
Gonna start chanting my 2 hours now, and check in later. I need to post some before and after pictures and give you all a full report!

Impossible? No way!!!!!

Here I am
Unbelievably here
In a body
My body!

Brand new

For my whole life
I struggled in shame

Unable to conquer for good
The urge to eat, eat, eat, eat -
never full...never satisfied
Knowing, yes knowing
That I was trying to fill the unfillable hole
But I had to obey-
Even against my brain,
Even Against my heart,
Even against my own
Smart, smart self
I had to obey
I searched endlessly
Every single day
For the foods that would
Quiet the screaming
Quiet the crying
Quiet the asking
Right in my own belly.
And I'd go to bed knowing
Tomorrow I'd be searching again
Even though
I'd wake up in pain...
Swollen, unhappy,
Pants getting tighter...
Hard to look in the mirror

Oh how I tried
You cannot say I did not try!
But defeat was always looming,
Like my life KNEW it was impossible
After every hard-won weight loss
The asking ~ the hole
Claimed dominion
Because it had to
Because it was impossible.

Then last year
July 27th, 2009
I said enough!
I'm about to enter my 25th
Year of chanting
Nam Myho Renge Kyo
I know
I possess the power
Of the entire universe in my life
I know
I am the Buddha
I know
I hold the key
I determined
To chant 2 hours every day
To make the impossible possible
And finally change
the karma left unfinished
The pain
Left creeping around in my life

Enough I said!

Be gone with you!

I am the Buddha

I will roar with
E faith of the lion king!
I will join with my mentor
Daisaku Ikeda
And my members and friends
And accomplish the impossible.
I vowed to be
Happy
Strong
Healthy
And here I am

A year later
In the thick of it.

Happiness? Check
so much better...
The endless ache
Is all but gone

Health? Check
About to brave surgery
That needs to be done
To free me to hike...
To dance...
To run...

And weight?
The pounds I always said separated me
From being who I am
Having what I want
Living how I want to live

Gone! Forever gone!
And the voice is silent.

Impossible?
Not anymore.
I have accomplished the impossible
Wile holding the hands of my fellow members
I have said
If I can do THIS
Then nothing is impossible!

What else can we do?

!

Gorgeous

What an incredibly delicious, fabulously beautiful day to be alive.

Heading up to Irving Park Road to chant at ILAC for two hours...then a massage and a District Meeting tonight!

Aaaaaahhhh

A Magical Summer

I am so grateful for this time.

The surgery is set for the 19th of August.

I am interviewing for jobs, but not too motivated since surgery is looming. I have no idea how long the recovery will be, so I wouldn't want to promise anything to an employer...and thank goodness, at this point I don't have to.

And I am here. With Ben, my 17 year old son. We're accomplishing so much and having so much fun and chanting together too.

Every morning we watch the Tour de France. And we've got it taped so we can fast forward through the commercials. We enjoy it together.

Today we cleaned out some of the boxes in the basement from Mom's apartment. Phew. We cleaned out several other areas also, and have more to do. By the time I get set to move out, so much will have been done. I know it will be a lot...but we are making steady headway and that is tremendous. And we are enjoying each other so much. Ben is gifted with an incredible sense of humor and comic timing. And I'm on pain meds now and not in as much pain as before...and we are both relaxed and having fun with each other...even while doing a task that is emotional for us both.

Today I am realizing what a treasure I have right here...right now.

I love my life.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!

It has almost been a YEAR!

Almost a year since I started this blog...and began chanting 2 hours a day. I'm about to sit down and take a look at all the ways my life has changed in the past year. I can tell you one thing. I know I am not done, and I will continue this chanting. I can also tell you another...the deep, deep sadness has lifted considerably. It is not all gone...but it sure is better!

Today's Mom's Birthday

And I am in all kinds of pain! Still chanting...still determined...

almost painfree...hard to believe!

OK, so I've decided to really go with this and stop being in so much pain. I got myself a parking pass and some pain medicine that works...it works so well I didn't want to get off my exercise bike last night and I'm really feeling it today. I can't use the pain medicine when I'm driving so I can't use it today. I'm about to drive downtown to take my friend to the Andy McKee concert...but first...chanting with a friend.

Rock the Era

WOW is all I can say!
The future is in good hands!
Imagine hundred of young performers! Thousands all told.

There must have been almost 500 Taiko drummers alone.
The UIC Pavillion was rocking with sheer determination and energy.
And the Long Beach event was amazing too...
And the best thing is...it isn't over, it is just beginning. Each of these youths will continue to strengthen their faith and break through whatever they consider impossible!

And the weather...OMG it was perfect. As we left the pavillion the clouds were towering majestically - as if to say "Well done! Well Done!!!!

Setting the date for Surgery

That's right! This week, in the week of decisive victory I am setting the date for the hip replacement surgery that will restore my ability to walk without pain, to hike, to dance freely...I am setting the date and looking at the hopeful spirit my practice has given me.
Two years ago, when I was first told this diagnosis, I was not strong enough to face it...and I was hopeful that I could be the miraculous person who just overcame late stage arthritis by sheer will and exercise and prayer alone.
Two years later...with the pain ever-present...and after strengthening my life through daimoku...I am readying my life to go "under the knife"...a place I sure never wanted to be! But somehow, I am getting the courage to do this thing...and I am thinking about what could be on the other side. I am hopeful I will say "piece of cake! No problem!"
And I am grateful for Rock the Era...and how we are all able to focus on world peace through individual happiness.
Rock on.

More Rock the Era

http://www.globalshift.org/2010/06/28/35000-youth-rock-the-era/

Please check out this article! It's all about Rock the Era! There's probably an easier way to do this besides cutting and pasting but I don't know what it is!

It's worth reading and passing on

Twelve Hours of Chanting Daimoku later...

First of all I have to make it very clear that

NO ONE is EVER expected to chant 12 hours of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!

However...every once in a while (maybe every 20 years or so) some of us find ourselves in very challenging times and CHOOSE to do a long tozo! And it's no coincidence that the Rock The Era events are coming this weekend...when huge causes are made (such as Rock the Era) huge challenges leading to huge breakthroughs are possible.

So there was a 12 hour tozo (continual chanting of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo) held at the ILAC on Irving Park Rd. (Illinois Area Activity Center). A handful of us ~ those of us with REALLY big challenges chanted the whole 12 hours. Most of the people came and chanted an hour or two.

We all chanted for mild weather for the week and weekend. People will be driving and flying from all over to come to the UIC Pavillion. We chanted for their safety...
We chanted for every one involved to deepen their faith and have a life changing experience.
I chanted for everyone who wanted to attend to be able to attend.
And, of course, through 12 hours there was plenty of time to chant for my main goals:

1. For every member of my family to be happier
than they ever dreamed possible.
2. I fall in love with my own magnificent life!
3. I replace forever my complaining nature, and my inclination to feel sorry for myself with Appreciation and HOPE!
4. I kick anxiety, fear, insecurity, and desperation out of my life and replace them with security, composure and peace of mind.
5. To change in any way necessary for me to create the life I want ~ overflowing with abundance and love, friends and soul mate, great secure, meaningful employment, and a great place to live!
6. To be a magnetic, positive, prosperous speaker and writer for Kosen Rufu (world peace).
7. For my sons to really feel Sensei's spirit at the event this weekend...and ALL the youths there to feel it. For them to realize their true power.
8. I was born to dance in joy!

Well...

Here we are the week before the campaign...and I know that I am not alone out here. Facing the most...how shall I say it?...challenging time of my life. What will I decide? How will I go forward? Last week I chanted three hours a day from Monday through Friday...today there is a 12 hour tozo (chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo) at ILAC center on Irving Park. Will I be able to complete it? I don't know, but I'm going to try.

ROCK THE ERA!!!!!

Chicago is showing amazing unity! We are all chanting for the success of the most historic gatherings of Buddhist youth in decades! Last Sunday 500 more youth signed up to come to our event this month!
There will be an event in Long Beach California, another in Philadelphia and our own here in Chicago.

On July 10th we will fill the UIC Pavillion with shining faces and performances. This is the opportunity for the youth of the SGI to gather from 12 states around for performances to ROCK THE ERA! The point of the gathering is for each of the youth to deepen their faith, have great breakthroughs in their lives and accept the baton of creating world peace from Daisaku Ikeda. This is an important year for the planet...I can feel it...we all can feel it...it is a turning point. This is a moment we will never forget.

I'm so excited that my incredible boys and several of their closest friends will attend Rock the Era.

This week I have been able to chant three hours a day towards the success of this event. I am chanting to focus my mind and my prayer like a laser...for every single youth who wants to attend to be able to make it...for the safety of all involved...and for every single one of us to get to a new level of faith and experience huge breakthroughs in all of our lives!

Great Guidance!

How could I NOT be experiencing such great obstacles? The obstacles themselves are the way that I will achieve all my dreams.
That's how it works according to the laws of life.

I made a great determination almost a year ago when I began this blog...I decided to chant two hours a day and accomplish all the karma changes that I had not yet achieved during my 25 years of practice.

A determination like that HAS to draw the challenges out of my life so I can prove the power of the law...and eradicate (root out!) the karmic tendencies that have me stuck in the areas I wish to get un-stuck!

So every time I feel sorry for myself I can change those thoughts (from ones of "why me" to ones of appreciation)...and know that my victory is assured, and KNOW that in THAT MOMENT I am changing my karma forever! I am making every possible cause for my happiness and the happiness of others...the district (Buddhist group) that meets at my house is flourishing...I am still chanting 2 hours a day...I am introducing people to this practice...my sons are chanting...and I am even chanting for the happiness and fulfillment of those it is hardest for me to summon compassion for...

With all these great causes...my life has to reach up and say NO WAY and say PROVE IT!

I remember one of my wise Japanese mentors said "when I get the biggest obstacles I am the MOST appreciative because I know the BIGGEST benefit and breakthrough is on its way to me!"

OK! Here I am back to the appreciative state of mind.

I WILL find a great job! I WILL be healthy! I WILL have love overflowing! I WILL be a speaker for Kosen Rufu! I WILL make a huge contribution to the happiness of others! I WILL live an inspiring life!

Running on Daimoku

Chanting away...
Feeling so sad and scared and human
and summoning the power of my faith
demanding it...drawing it forth

Missing my Mom so much...
...knowing that winter always turns to spring...it just has to.
... talking to my seniors in faith to get encouragement (That's a great word isn't it "to give courage")
...knowing that somehow I will turn "poison into medicine" even if it doesn't feel like that right now!

Bad News like this

...makes me sooooo appreciative that I practice this Buddhism.
As I mentioned in my last post I chanted 4 hours today before my appointment with the doctor about my hip. I really had a feeling it was not going to be good news. I have been in pain now for more than five years and acupuncture, chiropractic, physical therapy, strengthening exercises...have not managed to cure the pain.

Basically today I was told that I have stage 4 arthritis (bone on bone) and will require a total hip replacement if I want to be out of pain. Yikes. If you knew me, you'd know I am little miss anti-doctor and anti-surgery but yikes...how long can a person limp and wince? Do I want to go through surgery? Nooooooo.... Do I want to be pain free? YES!
So I am getting a second opinion and doing my research. I will keep you posted. I feel strong...right now!
Ben (my 17 year old) and I are going to Toy Story 3 in 3D tonight and I'm going to continue chanting at least two hours a day.
What an interesting journey...
Who would think that an accident from 20 years ago could have this effect....but the doctors seem to think it's the cause.

Digging Deep to change my karma!

I am digging deeper than ever in my prayer. I am open to changing my SELF, my NATURE, my BELIEFS in any way to open the way to changing my life and becoming truly happy.
I got guidance from Matilda Buck a few weeks ago and she said that in order to become happy I absolutely must generate compassion for my husband and view him as a "fellow sufferer" and start chanting again for him.
Now, many times in the past 25 years I have done this, believe me. However I always stopped when I didn't see what I thought I should see in terms of results. I never stayed the course. She impressed on me that you can't change what you run from...and no matter what happens...whether I stay or whether I leave the marriage, I must change the resentment in my life or I will never be happy. I must change the tendency to blame my outside circumstances for my own unhappiness and change from the inside first. Now, I KNOW this...I've KNOWN it for a long time. But KNOWING IT and actualizing it are two different things. Actualizing it takes courage, strength and faith. I need to let go of knowing or wishing how it will all turn out.
As is happened, her guidance came at a crucial moment for my husband. He is going through some really intense stuff at work.
When I started chanting for him the resentment lifted immediately. I always thought...well if He's suffering, HE should CHANT! I stopped thinking that way. For whatever reason, he can't chant. So I can do it for him. I have no idea about the outcome but I feel so much better already, and I'm sure he doesn't mind the fact that I am being nicer and more attentive. Stay tuned.
Also ~ I am more determined than ever to solve this pain in my hip. I have been chanting to find the RIGHT doctor who will know what to do. I am DONE with this pain. It is time to face whatever will come...including surgery if that is the solution. I have been exercising diligently, and going to PT every week, and I am still in pain. Last week they said it is a "frozen hip". OK. So I chanted to find a wise doctor (my last one doesn't work out of the hospital I love) and today I have an appointment with him at 3:00.
So far today I have chanted 3 hours and Melissa is coming over and we will chant more. I want to chant 5 hours before I see him.
My prayer (my VOW)is to:
Release my tendency toward
Hopelessness
Fear
Impatience
Sadness
Hunger
Anxiety
Desperation
feelings of being unloved and unlovable
and
wanting to control everything.
I vow to replace these with the recognition of my own immense worth and knowledge of my own Buddhahood and power. I vow to strengthen my life and to fully recognize my magnificence and dispel doubt from my life forever.

Tall order?

Stay tuned!!!!

Exciting Times

Today, even though I wasn't feeling quite my best ~ I gave a speech for about 100 people at a job club in DuPage County. I gave my speech "Change Your Words Change Your Life" and I had the longest line of people wanting to talk to me afterward that I've ever had. I think they really got the idea and appreciated it.

I am considering a couple of job opportunities and enjoying the summer. I am chanting deeply for my husband's happiness...and for my boys. I can't expect to see huge changes right away...karma takes a while to change sometimes...but I am making the causes.

A New Gohonzon Conferral!

Man, I am just on a roll. I feel totally unstoppable. I have been chanting to appreciate every moment of my life and I really feel it everywhere.
My Buddhist meetings are really going through the roof.

Last week I decided to teach echo gongyo...and this week I did the same. It is truly the easiest way for people to learn how to recite the Lotus Sutra. Everyone loves it because it becomes so easy...like music.

I have been chanting for the people who are really ready to learn about this practice to come to me. Today I had a really strong feeling that the guest who was coming to our meeting was ready to start practicing and she was! She got her Gohonzon (scroll) tonight and tomorrow we will go enshrine it for her! Yaaay! I have another chance to help someone pull the power of the universe through their own life! I can't wait to watch her win over her challenges and become truly happy.

My life is such a joy.

Some great quotes!!

This weekend was really exciting. Linda Johnson was here visiting from Los Angeles. On Sunday morning we headed down to the Chicago Culture Center to hear her speak.
Here are a few things I gleaned from the lecture:

You can't change something you run from. If you want to change it you must challenge it head on...chant about it with resolve. Decide how you want it to turn out and DON'T GIVE UP!

There is NO problem bigger than chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! You can triumph over ANYTHING if you are determined.

Chant with an inner flame to be victorious!

Remember that setbacks are only temporary!

Everything we go through is designed to take our lives to the next level.

We can definitely WIN!

Great gongyo training!

Tonight's meeting was so energetic! Our District members are really breaking though. We had a great turn out for gongyo training.
Gongyo is the recitation of part of the lotus sutra. Buddhist do this every morning and evening.

It can be quite difficult to learn. It is a Japanese Transliteration of Sanskrit. As we speak the words we are speaking the words of the Buddha - because we are Buddhas! When we do it correctly we are in rhythm with every other Buddhist on the planet! Wonderful!

In gongyo training we used echo gongyo - I recited a line, the group echoed it, then at the end of each section we recited the whole section with the best unison we've ever had! It was so great! The energy was incredible.

This is 2010 - the year for each person to have a major victory in their life! We are all experiencing struggle, and victory!

Spiritual Workout

I remain upbeat and happy about my prospects...here is a great quote for you!

Exerting ourselves in the practice of gongyo each day amounts to what we may call a spiritual workout. It purifies and cleanses our lives, gets our motors running and puts us on the right course for the day. It gets our bodies and our minds working smoothly and puts us in rhythm, in sync, with the universe.

Daisaku Ikeda
YES!

Things are Hopping!

Today was great! I chanted for two hours at the center with about 12 other people in preparation for my initial interview today.

I chanted with a vow to have my next job be one where I can fulfill my mission for world peace...and I chanted to connect with the VP in my meeting.

It went very well.

And I also chanted about the Buddhist meeting tonight at my house - which was wonderful!

We have many new members and we are teaching them how to chant and how to practice.

I have another meeting with a different company tomorrow. I'll let you know how it all turns out!

Winners!

Great weekend! Our boys came in third in the state in the 4x4!

Heading to the State Track Meet

Heading out to watch our precious mighty warriors run!
Ben's not running because he's recovering from an injury but our team is doing great! Charleston Illinois here we come!

When I get back I'm going to post an experience my friend Amos had in San Francisco....
It is a true example for good causes reaping benefits of good financial fortune!

Breakthroughs every day!

OK, I want to talk about the quality of Daimoku right now. For those of you new to this blog, Daimoku is the chanting of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo over and over and over....
You know it is true that in any given thing...you can give it your all, or give it some of your attention, right? Well, this law of the universe...this prayer of chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is impartial and well...a LAW.
Now I'm not going to say that if the only place you chant is in your car or on your exercise bike that you won't get any benefits. You probably will...but as in anything else, when you give YOUR ALL, you get it back multiplied many times over.
When I chant I chant FIGHTING DAIMOKU! Why not? As long as I'm chanting I might as well REALLY chant.
Fighting Daimoku is loud and fast and concentrated. I feel the energy of the chant coming from my root chakra all the way through my body. I feel the energy flow. I sit up straight...I keep my eyes on the Gohonzon, I am focused in my prayer...sometimes I heat up and perspire! I invite President Ikeda to chant with me...and chant to join hearts with the heart of my mentor - a lion for peace.

Yesterday something really cool happened:

Here I am...as many of you know...actively engaged in a job search...and a divorce...My Mom just died, and I lost a great amount of weight (Yaaay - I did the impossible!) and look about 15 years younger then I did 10 years ago. By all rights, in most people's worlds I could be suffering a lot. Not me. I am invigorated. I view all of my challenges as part of my mission for Kosen Rufu...(world peace) by confronting and changing my life from the inside out, I can actually change the world. I have been chanting to change in any way necessary to achieve VICTORY in every part of my life. I have been chanting to feel President Ikeda's heart....and to have him chanting right alongside me.

As far as the job goes...I have made many positive causes in my job search...I've given out about 200 of my contact cards to business associates I know through my various affiliations. I've attended many networking events...I know the right position is there to be created...I am not worried about it.

Yesterday though, I started thinking OK...NOW would be a good time to secure a job. I am giving a talk at a job club on June 18th, and it would be ideal to be working on a final agreement for a job by then or sooner.

So I sat in front of the Gohonzon (scroll) and chanted deeply, quickly, loudly - from my belly, really feeling my prayer. I said in my brain : I have made all the causes necessary. I have done the work...NOW it is time for you Buddhist forces that are within my life to move! NOW you must show me actual proof of my efforts. I am a votary of the Lotus Sutra - it is MY RIGHT to demand the answer to my prayers.

And the PHONE RANG!

It was precisely as I pictured it. The person on the line was a professional of the highest caliber whom I respect immensely. I had invited her to work on a project benefiting seniors earlier this year.
She said my name had been raised in a meeting that morning, and she was wondering if I might be interested in having a brainstorming discussion about an unadvertised opening they were creating. They didn't have a title for it...and she thought I could be the perfect person to take their project to the next level. It would involve me being able to use all my resources and bring in many of the fine professionals I know.
This position would be 5 minutes from home.

I said "Of course! I'm honored! Thank you!"

And today I received another interesting job offer.
Who knows what will happen, but isn't it exciting?

I'm on a role. DAIMOKU WORKS!!!!! TRY IT! TRY IT POWERFULLY!

Human Revolution

This is what I'm chanting for right now - what does it mean...changing from the inside out and making a permanent change in karma! Very exciting - check it out. This is a post from when I started this blog last August. Read more of the older posts to really get a feel for this practice:

What do we mean by Human Revolution?
It means that through our own transformation our world and the greater world will be transformed. REAL change is effected by our own courage to grow. I sit in front of the Gohonzon and pray to change in any way necessary to make the sadness I feel be gone forever, and to experience ongoing happiness and serenity.
I know of many Buddhists who have experienced just this sort of "revolution" in their lives.
I'm a work in progress. There's a term we use called "Esho Funi" it is the oneness of life and its environment. It LOOKS like me and my environment are two different things, In actuality we are connected in every way. When I make a fundamental change by chanting daimoku my environment HAS to change to reflect it.

As an example: when I chanted for a house in San Francisco, I didn't just chant for a house. I chanted for a house to do Kosen Rufu (world peace) in...I chanted for a house to show the proof of this practice. When the movers took my furniture and boxes out of the tiny apartment on "lower Nob Hill" and brought them to our beautiful new home with a view on the top of Excelsior Heights, they could not believe their eyes. I was showing actual proof of this practice. That's why I like to call this practice PRACTICAL BUDDHISM. It works! It doesn't matter if you believe in it or n

How could I be sad?

So Aaron is going to have a wonderful summer - I just know it. From the moment we made our customary stop at Panera, to when we pulled up in front of his summer apartment I knew this summer was going to be a good one for him.

There is so much life in Champaign...it's like college heaven. I wanted to move in with him...how about it guys? I like your music, I love your twinkly lights...I love staying up all night talking...can I? Can I?

College is such a unique time of life.

Aaron has worked so hard.

This summer I hope he PLAYS!

And, of course he will chant.
We talked about chanting on the way down. He said there's just a certain spark in his life that he gets from chanting. He always knows he's got his best game...and he DOES! His grades are incredible. His running times keep improving - he's down to 3:54 for the 1500. That's the equivalent of a 4:11 mile. And that's ridiculous~~!

Have a blast sweetie...see you this weekend at the state track meet!

What a week it's been...

Such a wonderful week...feeling the effects of chanting so hard. This week I've been focusing on appreciating my life, and basing my life on joy rather than sadness.

We just returned from the 40th reunion of the Community Renewal Chorus and All God's Children. I traveled with this chorus to Romania, Russia and Poland as a teenager and it changed my life.

This weekend I reconnected with many dear souls.

Tomorrow I really need to be strong. I'm bringing Aaron back down to Champaign where he will spend the summer studying for his Med School entrance exams, Oh Mannnnnn. What a rite of passage for a mother. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!

Amazing...this is post 101!

Thanks for being a part of this blog!

Isn't it exciting to wonder how it's all going to work out?

Will Jamie find a great job?

Will she successfully divorce and find a wonderful man...or two or three...!

How will it all turn out?

This morning I woke up and wrote all the things I am grateful for...pages and pages...
Then I wrote my goals!

Here we come!

An Interesting Time

Well, I have to admit these are challenging times for me. I am doing daily battle with the evil twin inside my head...I am so sad about many things...and struggling to find hope and faith. Thank goodness I have friends in faith.
I talked with Melissa last week when I awoke so low I couldn't chant. I told her about my determination to defeat the sadness in my life and she reminded me that having a strong determination always creates a boomerang effect. I have the determination to defeat the sadness in my life...so immediately I get to experience it so I can change it. Reminds me of the wonderful saying Donna had in her home in Benicia:

When Life knocks you to the ground ~
Roll over and look at the stars.

In my case when life knocks me down I phone a friend.

Now I have a new focus in chanting, although it is still being difficult right now. I won't lie. This practice is hard. But it is times like this - when it is hardest to chant that we are really changing our karma. The hardest thing is overcoming the doubt in my own head!

I am chanting to rid my life of sadness and bring appreciation into it.
I am chanting to live a life of joy and appreciation.
...to strengthen my life!
...to strengthen my faith!
...to strengthen my determination!
...to completely transform my life to JOY!
...to feel President Ikeda's heart
...to open my heart to feeling his daimoku for me
...to find a job that helps me fulfill my mission for world peace, one moment at a time...and I have a long list of things I am looking for in a job.
I just need to keep chanting. This is the hard part. It will change.

Letter from my Mother

Mother's Day.
What an interesting time.

Thought you might be interested in the letters Mom and I wrote to each other this weekend in honor of Mother's Day. And no, Mom wasn't "here" physically, but she was with me ~ right by my side.

I wrote:
Mommy
Oh, adorable, noble, beautiful, warm, soft loving Mommy.
There will always be a hole in my life now.
The Mommy is not here hole.
The Mommy can't hug me hole.
Oh how I wish I had hugged you more.
I how I wish I could turn back time.
I'm all cliches tonight.
As I dread the thought of Mother's Day
without my sweet Mommy.
Maybe if I can focus on the good times ~
Like the day you and I drove out to Saint Charles
to get my favorite soft jacket.
What a beautiful fall day...when I spoke with
Matayman and we laughed all day.
We were so happy ~ we wanted to freeze time.
Oh sweet Mommy.
How I miss you.
How I will always miss you.

And I held the pen gently on the paper and she replied...

Mom Wrote:

Oh come on now J
Buck up
Don't cry your brilliant life away.
Look at you!
Sparkling! Beautiful, with your whole life to look forward to!
I know things are a little weird for you right now.
I know you miss me and Matayman and Danny and Boo.
But you can't stay down J ~ you must rise up!
If anyone can do it you can!
Look at YOU! You did the impossible!
How many other impossible feats can you achieve?
YES! You will find a job~
YES! You will find love~
YES! You will be happy ~ be a leader
J you will thrive.
I'm not worried about you at all!
And I am with you sweetie
I never leave your beautiful side
I never leave your beautiful side