GREAT DAY after chanting FIGHTING Daimoku this morning!
I was asked to be a part of a golf outing that will be a blast and a wonderful place to network. Actually I was asked to be a part of two golf outings...terrific places to network and to make new friends!
I found out that the choir I traveled to Romania, Poland and Russia with is having a reunion! I'm going to sing with them and attend all the parties! The director - one of my favorite people in the world ~ is flying in to lead us. It is perfectly timed for me - I have a totally free weekend that weekend! Imagine...as a child...I sang in these incredible countries. The experience changed my life forever...and now, at this crucial juncture in my life...I get to be reacquainted with these loving friends!
I also had the honor of judging the Rotary High School Scholarships and was so inspired by these great kids.
And, I met with a friend in the senior living field I really respect. We had a brainstorming session and came up with some great career ideas.
There's even more...I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight!
This was a great day!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Battling it out!
Here I am...the weather here is beautiful...my friends are wonderful..I have a nice roof over my head as I figure out exactly how the next half of my life is going to unfold...and almost every day I wake up and have a choice. I can stare straight into my karma of feeling unloved, and empty and sad...or I can focus on all the appreciation I can summon in my life.
This morning I am just about to sit down and command my life. I am going to tell the universe, through my chanting to the Gohonzon, that I don't CARE how sad and lonely and unloved I feel. I KNOW that I can change this darkness and root it out from my life. I will never give up. It doesn't matter where it came from...I brought it with me as my mission to change. At the Linda Johnson meeting I kept hearing "change karma to mission" and that's what I will do.
Hear me Buddhist gods!
Entities within the Gohonzon!
Forces that Exist in all of life and in my LIFE!
I will not be defeated!
I will not be sad!
I don't CARE how many times I wake up in tears...I will be happy...I VOW to be victorious in all of my life. With President Ikeda and all the members and all the people I wish to introduce to this practice....I will WIN!
This morning I am just about to sit down and command my life. I am going to tell the universe, through my chanting to the Gohonzon, that I don't CARE how sad and lonely and unloved I feel. I KNOW that I can change this darkness and root it out from my life. I will never give up. It doesn't matter where it came from...I brought it with me as my mission to change. At the Linda Johnson meeting I kept hearing "change karma to mission" and that's what I will do.
Hear me Buddhist gods!
Entities within the Gohonzon!
Forces that Exist in all of life and in my LIFE!
I will not be defeated!
I will not be sad!
I don't CARE how many times I wake up in tears...I will be happy...I VOW to be victorious in all of my life. With President Ikeda and all the members and all the people I wish to introduce to this practice....I will WIN!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Daimoku makes you SHINE!
Today I gave a talk on Networking to Veterans in Transition. (Unemployed) I could not sleep a wink all night thinking about this talk. How could I reach their hearts and give them hope and inspire them not to give up on finding work they can do and love...?
I was writing in the wee hours of the morning and woke up and chanted an hour and a half for each of them to have a breakthrough from being at my talk.
I had been invited in by the Department of Employment Security and I wore my new bright yellow suit for the first time and felt GREAT!
They treated me so well, introducing me to the manager of the office. I was so impressed with her heart. These employees of the government sincerely want to help people find jobs. This is not just a job to them...it is a calling.
As you can imagine, the talk went really well.
I began by thanking them for their years of service to this great country, and saying they are what keep it great. Then I offered my best tips on networking. It went great!
You never know where one pro bono talk can lead. And even if it leads no where...it was a very good thing to do!
I came home after that and made networking calls for myself and my strategic job search/creation.
Tomorrow is a talk by Linda Johnson the SGI women's leader!
I was writing in the wee hours of the morning and woke up and chanted an hour and a half for each of them to have a breakthrough from being at my talk.
I had been invited in by the Department of Employment Security and I wore my new bright yellow suit for the first time and felt GREAT!
They treated me so well, introducing me to the manager of the office. I was so impressed with her heart. These employees of the government sincerely want to help people find jobs. This is not just a job to them...it is a calling.
As you can imagine, the talk went really well.
I began by thanking them for their years of service to this great country, and saying they are what keep it great. Then I offered my best tips on networking. It went great!
You never know where one pro bono talk can lead. And even if it leads no where...it was a very good thing to do!
I came home after that and made networking calls for myself and my strategic job search/creation.
Tomorrow is a talk by Linda Johnson the SGI women's leader!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Quote from Daisaku Ikeda
“People who love
with the most all-consuming fervor
are those
who live life
to the fullest,
regardless
of how long
the physical existence lasts.
To invest
one’s heart and soul
in caring for others,
to burn with passionate love for humanity,
is what Buddhists call
the
I believe
this kind of perfect life
constitutes the way
to optimal health
and true longevity.”
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sincere Gratitude and Deep Prayers!
Today there was a big meeting at the culture center in Chicago and a showing of the film "Traveler for Peace". It is about Daisaku Ikeda's first trip to America and Brazil in 1960.
I got to the culture center a few hours early so I could pour some more daimoku into my life...chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Lately I have been chanting in appreciation for my wonderful life...I mean, look at me...having the chance to reinvent my whole life. As challenging as that sounds it is also a profound gift and opportunity! Thank you life! Thank you Buddhahood! I am celebrating!
And I also have friends who are struggling. One close friend is mourning a death, hobbling on a sprained ankle and just had another disease strike him that is very troubling. I am really chanting for him, and hoping he really chants for himself too!
When I went in to the round Gohonzon room the leader of the chanting came up to me and said "Why don't you lead for awhile"? This person didn't know it, but leading the chanting is one of my favorite things to do! I sat right in front of the Gohonzon and chanted in so much appreciation! I chanted for Daisaku Ikeda to come to Chicago and for every member in the room to have a huge breakthrough during the half hour we were chanting together. And I chanted so hard for my friend with the sprained ankle that I was actually sweating in front of the Gohonzon...the energy was running so strongly through me...I was totally one with my prayer! It feels like flying and like digging deep at the same time. Indescribable.
I also chanted for my new friend in Botswana, Kennedy, who started reading this blog and sent me an email. And my new friend Ric I just met today who is an ER physician and so inspiring. I wish all doctors had his vision fro healing!
I chanted for all my members, and for my family and community.
Oh it feels so good to pour my life and my desires into my prayers. This is exactly what I always wanted for my life and the answer to what I searched for for so long: a practice that I could use to focus my incredible energy and have my prayers answered. Thank you so much Daisaku Ikeda and Nichiren Daishonin, and President Makiguchi and Josei Toda! And all the members who taught me how to chant. I am forever indebted!
I got to the culture center a few hours early so I could pour some more daimoku into my life...chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. Lately I have been chanting in appreciation for my wonderful life...I mean, look at me...having the chance to reinvent my whole life. As challenging as that sounds it is also a profound gift and opportunity! Thank you life! Thank you Buddhahood! I am celebrating!
And I also have friends who are struggling. One close friend is mourning a death, hobbling on a sprained ankle and just had another disease strike him that is very troubling. I am really chanting for him, and hoping he really chants for himself too!
When I went in to the round Gohonzon room the leader of the chanting came up to me and said "Why don't you lead for awhile"? This person didn't know it, but leading the chanting is one of my favorite things to do! I sat right in front of the Gohonzon and chanted in so much appreciation! I chanted for Daisaku Ikeda to come to Chicago and for every member in the room to have a huge breakthrough during the half hour we were chanting together. And I chanted so hard for my friend with the sprained ankle that I was actually sweating in front of the Gohonzon...the energy was running so strongly through me...I was totally one with my prayer! It feels like flying and like digging deep at the same time. Indescribable.
I also chanted for my new friend in Botswana, Kennedy, who started reading this blog and sent me an email. And my new friend Ric I just met today who is an ER physician and so inspiring. I wish all doctors had his vision fro healing!
I chanted for all my members, and for my family and community.
Oh it feels so good to pour my life and my desires into my prayers. This is exactly what I always wanted for my life and the answer to what I searched for for so long: a practice that I could use to focus my incredible energy and have my prayers answered. Thank you so much Daisaku Ikeda and Nichiren Daishonin, and President Makiguchi and Josei Toda! And all the members who taught me how to chant. I am forever indebted!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Changing Weight Karma!
I have absolutely changed a deep part of my karma.
Remember, in this practical form of Buddhism, karma is the result of every cause you've ever made through every existence you have ever lived. That is not the same as saying it is your FAULT. No, it is not your fault. You are not guilty and there is no original sin in this practice. There is karma. How do you know it's karma? You know because you try everything you can think of to change it...you watch what other people do...and still your life does not budge...that is why we need to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! Check this out:
I was born into a heavy family. My mother took pills for her weight the whole time I was growing up...and my birthright, my karma, was insatiable hunger. There was a little voice in my head constantly telling me to eat more and more and more. Starting from the first grade I felt different from the other girls. Soon after that the boys began making fun of me for my weight and my fate was sealed. I had to shop in the special section and finding clothes was so hard.
When I was in third grade I got asthma. Scary asthma. And they didn't take you to the hospital in those days. And they didn't have inhalers. One day when I was running and I just stopped breathing...barely made it back to my house. From then on I could never run or walk up stairs or play tennis or do ANYTHING or I'd suffer for hours gasping for breath. That, of course, didn't help with the weight problem.
Throughout my life I dieted every way you can think of...weight watchers...Atkins... optifast (I was on that for 6 months and am so lucky to still have my gallbladder...everyone else I know who was on it lost theirs!) And each time I would lose the weight I would gain it all back...either through pregnancy or through eating cheese popcorn.
Honestly...that is not a joke. I felt as long as there was a bag of cheese popcorn in the car I would survive. I was soothing something within me that was just crying out for more and more.
I was deeply in the world of hunger.
Over the past few years I have changed this karma. I think it is no coincidence that I have lost this last 35 pounds while chanting 2 hours a day. I am filling my life with daimoku. I would like to show you a picture I just found. It is of me and my Mom and my aunt. You can clearly see the family karma. I am at least 70 pounds lighter and I look at least ten years younger.
My body no longer cries out for food all the time, and I no longer have asthma. I have chanted for this for years...visualized it. I put together a book of pictures of how I wanted to look. And chanted with a vow and determination...knowing I could change this through my prayer. And it has worked!
I have changed this karma that caused me so much suffering!
If I can do this I can do anything, because, I'll tell you - for many years this was impossible! But that's what this practice is all about...making the impossible possible!!!!
Remember, in this practical form of Buddhism, karma is the result of every cause you've ever made through every existence you have ever lived. That is not the same as saying it is your FAULT. No, it is not your fault. You are not guilty and there is no original sin in this practice. There is karma. How do you know it's karma? You know because you try everything you can think of to change it...you watch what other people do...and still your life does not budge...that is why we need to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! Check this out:
I was born into a heavy family. My mother took pills for her weight the whole time I was growing up...and my birthright, my karma, was insatiable hunger. There was a little voice in my head constantly telling me to eat more and more and more. Starting from the first grade I felt different from the other girls. Soon after that the boys began making fun of me for my weight and my fate was sealed. I had to shop in the special section and finding clothes was so hard.
When I was in third grade I got asthma. Scary asthma. And they didn't take you to the hospital in those days. And they didn't have inhalers. One day when I was running and I just stopped breathing...barely made it back to my house. From then on I could never run or walk up stairs or play tennis or do ANYTHING or I'd suffer for hours gasping for breath. That, of course, didn't help with the weight problem.
Throughout my life I dieted every way you can think of...weight watchers...Atkins... optifast (I was on that for 6 months and am so lucky to still have my gallbladder...everyone else I know who was on it lost theirs!) And each time I would lose the weight I would gain it all back...either through pregnancy or through eating cheese popcorn.
Honestly...that is not a joke. I felt as long as there was a bag of cheese popcorn in the car I would survive. I was soothing something within me that was just crying out for more and more.
I was deeply in the world of hunger.
Over the past few years I have changed this karma. I think it is no coincidence that I have lost this last 35 pounds while chanting 2 hours a day. I am filling my life with daimoku. I would like to show you a picture I just found. It is of me and my Mom and my aunt. You can clearly see the family karma. I am at least 70 pounds lighter and I look at least ten years younger.
My body no longer cries out for food all the time, and I no longer have asthma. I have chanted for this for years...visualized it. I put together a book of pictures of how I wanted to look. And chanted with a vow and determination...knowing I could change this through my prayer. And it has worked!
I have changed this karma that caused me so much suffering!
If I can do this I can do anything, because, I'll tell you - for many years this was impossible! But that's what this practice is all about...making the impossible possible!!!!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Weeping and Gratitude
This was a week of weeping for me. I think it was more of the sadness that I am working to transform just seeping out of me. I could barely even identify its source. A friend of mine lost someone they loved dearly...and I think I was feeling his pain...and I think I was just releasing pain as well.
All week long I've been chanting 3 - 4 hours a day. I am determined to have my life reveal the incredible benefit that will absolutely come from my life. I am chanting to change in any way necessary to be able to fill the emptiness inside...to love myself...to have confidence and to find a way of making a great income. I have had tremendous earning power in my life...bring it on world! What is the next adventure for me. I have some ideas....I will let you know.
Meanwhile I have my friend chanting three whole hours for me, and for my son Ben, who is a runner who can't run at the moment. I am chanting for him too. My other son is running free! He won the 1500 meter today in Dubuque Iowa for the University of Illinois Club Team - of which he is the President. He won last week too and we got to see him.
The world is so fresh and green and colorful. Tomorrow I will chant at least two hours in gratitude for this wonderful life!~*
All week long I've been chanting 3 - 4 hours a day. I am determined to have my life reveal the incredible benefit that will absolutely come from my life. I am chanting to change in any way necessary to be able to fill the emptiness inside...to love myself...to have confidence and to find a way of making a great income. I have had tremendous earning power in my life...bring it on world! What is the next adventure for me. I have some ideas....I will let you know.
Meanwhile I have my friend chanting three whole hours for me, and for my son Ben, who is a runner who can't run at the moment. I am chanting for him too. My other son is running free! He won the 1500 meter today in Dubuque Iowa for the University of Illinois Club Team - of which he is the President. He won last week too and we got to see him.
The world is so fresh and green and colorful. Tomorrow I will chant at least two hours in gratitude for this wonderful life!~*
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Good News
Some good news amidst the chanting and crying I've been doing...today I actually found some great clothes that I'll be able to interview in. I think only women can relate to what I'm saying. You see, I've lost a total of about 70 pounds and have almost no clothes! I know, I know...it's a good thing...yet still a challenge...especially now that I'm out there networking for a job. It still shocks me when I try on a jacket that is a size 8 and it fits. Such a joy!
So after many weeks of trying things on at different stores I finally hit pay dirt.
Some of you are nodding your heads going "yes, yes!"
Seems like the right job will be right around the corner....!
So after many weeks of trying things on at different stores I finally hit pay dirt.
Some of you are nodding your heads going "yes, yes!"
Seems like the right job will be right around the corner....!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A Dark Time
Yes, it is a dark time.
Seems like chanting 2 and 3 and 4 hours a day is barely scratching the surface. Mannnn, during the last three days I've chanted ten hours...and I swear, 7 of those were impossible...impossible to connect. I sit in front of my Gohonzon and I try to focus and impact my situation. I'm chanting to change myself so that my environment can change...I'm chanting from the bottom of my soul to feel love for myself...to not need it from the outside. I'm chanting for Brave and Vigorous YOUTH to arise...and chanting for my children...
And really, even with all my friends I feel so lonely and sad. Chanting and crying...chanting and crying...you just don't know till you've been there.
Kate tells me I'm in a long tunnel of human revolution. It is so dark that I can't see the light behind me, and I am so far into it that I can't see the light in front of me. But if I just keep moving forward I will have a great breakthrough, and I will experience the deepest of happiness from within. She says I need to release my attachment that love in my life has to come from another person...and to let myself just release that thought...that illusion. And that will be the key. I understand what she's saying on an intellectual level...but still I yearn...
All I know at this point is that I was born to help other people learn to chant, that I know I will break through this sadness, and that somehow I will fulfill this mission. I know I was born to experience the deepest of loves...and I am determined that the deepest, most fulfilling love will be mine. But it seems a long way from where I am to where I want to be. And I'm missing my Mom so much.
My real hope in going through this is to be able to encourage people when they are faced with these kinds of challenges.
I am so ready for a breakthrough...and so hungry all the time...and so determined not to gain back the weight I lost. I'm solving the problem of my sore leg...I will NEVER be driven to the top of my favorite hiking mountain again! I'm doing my exercises and I am already in a lot less pain.
I feel like I felt 25 years ago at the beginning of my practice...my prayer then was "I've been happy before - I can be happy again - get me out of this!" Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!
Seems like chanting 2 and 3 and 4 hours a day is barely scratching the surface. Mannnn, during the last three days I've chanted ten hours...and I swear, 7 of those were impossible...impossible to connect. I sit in front of my Gohonzon and I try to focus and impact my situation. I'm chanting to change myself so that my environment can change...I'm chanting from the bottom of my soul to feel love for myself...to not need it from the outside. I'm chanting for Brave and Vigorous YOUTH to arise...and chanting for my children...
And really, even with all my friends I feel so lonely and sad. Chanting and crying...chanting and crying...you just don't know till you've been there.
Kate tells me I'm in a long tunnel of human revolution. It is so dark that I can't see the light behind me, and I am so far into it that I can't see the light in front of me. But if I just keep moving forward I will have a great breakthrough, and I will experience the deepest of happiness from within. She says I need to release my attachment that love in my life has to come from another person...and to let myself just release that thought...that illusion. And that will be the key. I understand what she's saying on an intellectual level...but still I yearn...
All I know at this point is that I was born to help other people learn to chant, that I know I will break through this sadness, and that somehow I will fulfill this mission. I know I was born to experience the deepest of loves...and I am determined that the deepest, most fulfilling love will be mine. But it seems a long way from where I am to where I want to be. And I'm missing my Mom so much.
My real hope in going through this is to be able to encourage people when they are faced with these kinds of challenges.
I am so ready for a breakthrough...and so hungry all the time...and so determined not to gain back the weight I lost. I'm solving the problem of my sore leg...I will NEVER be driven to the top of my favorite hiking mountain again! I'm doing my exercises and I am already in a lot less pain.
I feel like I felt 25 years ago at the beginning of my practice...my prayer then was "I've been happy before - I can be happy again - get me out of this!" Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Meteor in the sky!
Last night there was a huge meteor (we think) that light up the sky in the midwest...my son saw it in Champaign, but no one around him saw it. When I told him it actually happened he was really relieved! He thought maybe he'd imagined it!
That reminds me of Nichiren Daishonin...one of the times he was being persecuted he was being taken to the beach at Tatsunokuchi. He asked to be able to pray to a statue of Hachiman on the way. He YELLED his prayer to the god...he said (and I paraphrase freely here) "You VOWED to protec the votary of the Lotus Sutra! If you do not protect me and I die, the FIRST thing I will do is report you for not protecting me!"
Then they went to the beach to behead him and lo and behold a huge fireball came out of the sky and lit up all their faces and the soldiers couldn't behead him, and in fact some became his followers at that time! Now THATS the way to chant...Such fierce determination in that prayer to Hachiman...we can all learn from it!
That reminds me of Nichiren Daishonin...one of the times he was being persecuted he was being taken to the beach at Tatsunokuchi. He asked to be able to pray to a statue of Hachiman on the way. He YELLED his prayer to the god...he said (and I paraphrase freely here) "You VOWED to protec the votary of the Lotus Sutra! If you do not protect me and I die, the FIRST thing I will do is report you for not protecting me!"
Then they went to the beach to behead him and lo and behold a huge fireball came out of the sky and lit up all their faces and the soldiers couldn't behead him, and in fact some became his followers at that time! Now THATS the way to chant...Such fierce determination in that prayer to Hachiman...we can all learn from it!
Monday, April 12, 2010
A great Year to be part of the SGI!
Well, all I can say is I am just glowing.
I am constantly chanting for brave and vigorous youth to arise!
This is such a great year to be a Soka Gakkai Youth Division member! Youth are up to the age 35 in our organization.
This is the year for ROCK THE ERA! On July 10th 2010, the University of Illinois Pavilion in Chicago will be filled with 8000 youth from 20 states...performing in many ways...dancing...singing...playing instruments!
It is a time to get involved and support from behind the scenes or stand up front and center and let your light shine! Everywhere I turn I see brilliant youth! Everywhere I go people want to hear about this marvelous practice!
And I am building a website to help people to achieve the same kinds of benefits that I have achieved...I will be helping people to create their own Delightful Lives! More about that later.
In the meantime Join ME!
If you're not already chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo I invite you to give it a try. It's the type of thing that can not be described...it is purely experiential.
YOU ALONE have the power to tap the infinite life force you hold inside. Are you courageous enough to give it a try?
I am constantly chanting for brave and vigorous youth to arise!
This is such a great year to be a Soka Gakkai Youth Division member! Youth are up to the age 35 in our organization.
This is the year for ROCK THE ERA! On July 10th 2010, the University of Illinois Pavilion in Chicago will be filled with 8000 youth from 20 states...performing in many ways...dancing...singing...playing instruments!
It is a time to get involved and support from behind the scenes or stand up front and center and let your light shine! Everywhere I turn I see brilliant youth! Everywhere I go people want to hear about this marvelous practice!
And I am building a website to help people to achieve the same kinds of benefits that I have achieved...I will be helping people to create their own Delightful Lives! More about that later.
In the meantime Join ME!
If you're not already chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo I invite you to give it a try. It's the type of thing that can not be described...it is purely experiential.
YOU ALONE have the power to tap the infinite life force you hold inside. Are you courageous enough to give it a try?
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Victory!
Hello! Today was so cold in Chicago! I'm really getting used to the warm weather and glad it will be back this weekend.
I completed my 2 hours of chanting all at one time this morning before I went off on my day. I almost stopped at one hour...not feeling really connected to my prayer...feeling a little sluggish. But then I told myself to fight hard...to fight now...and my prayer got stronger and I was chanting my vow to achieve victory in all area of my life. Chanting is always a struggle against the negative forces within my life at every moment! This morning I won!
Today was all about my son Ben.
He stayed home today to catch up on work from his vacation - AND his knee had begun hurting yesterday. That is very bad for Ben! Running is so important to him and he's in the middle of his Junior year track season in High School. And he is FAST...mannnn he is fast. He treats running like I treat chanting...he doesn't skimp...he often runs more than anyone else...he is fully self motivated. So the goal of the day was to get him in to see his fitness guru who keeps his muscles in gear. Only the Dr. was booked all day! So Ben did gongyo (not his favorite thing) and chanted strong daimoku with me this morning. We both chanted so hard for his knee...he also chanted to have the power to get through all the school work he was faced with.
He called the Dr's office and said it was an emergency...and so did his father. When I got out of my appointment at 2:00 he had not been called in to the Dr. yet. I called and nicely reminded them how important this was...and found out that the little note to the Dr had fallen off the wall. The receptionist put it back up and Ben was called within 15 minutes!
The Dr visit went well...Ben's knee is fine...he just has to use his muscle roller on one particular muscle and he can keep right on running...it was the perfect news. The knee is no big deal - carry on!
It was a great lesson for Ben in many different ways...chanting starts it out...but determined action keeps it going. Go Ben GO!!!
I completed my 2 hours of chanting all at one time this morning before I went off on my day. I almost stopped at one hour...not feeling really connected to my prayer...feeling a little sluggish. But then I told myself to fight hard...to fight now...and my prayer got stronger and I was chanting my vow to achieve victory in all area of my life. Chanting is always a struggle against the negative forces within my life at every moment! This morning I won!
Today was all about my son Ben.
He stayed home today to catch up on work from his vacation - AND his knee had begun hurting yesterday. That is very bad for Ben! Running is so important to him and he's in the middle of his Junior year track season in High School. And he is FAST...mannnn he is fast. He treats running like I treat chanting...he doesn't skimp...he often runs more than anyone else...he is fully self motivated. So the goal of the day was to get him in to see his fitness guru who keeps his muscles in gear. Only the Dr. was booked all day! So Ben did gongyo (not his favorite thing) and chanted strong daimoku with me this morning. We both chanted so hard for his knee...he also chanted to have the power to get through all the school work he was faced with.
He called the Dr's office and said it was an emergency...and so did his father. When I got out of my appointment at 2:00 he had not been called in to the Dr. yet. I called and nicely reminded them how important this was...and found out that the little note to the Dr had fallen off the wall. The receptionist put it back up and Ben was called within 15 minutes!
The Dr visit went well...Ben's knee is fine...he just has to use his muscle roller on one particular muscle and he can keep right on running...it was the perfect news. The knee is no big deal - carry on!
It was a great lesson for Ben in many different ways...chanting starts it out...but determined action keeps it going. Go Ben GO!!!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
On top of Mt. Tam with Amy!
Here we are on top of my favorite mountain!
Yes! That is San Francisco you see in the background...right by my head. And you can see Sausalito, Tiburon, Angel Island. What beautiful days! What beautiful friends!
Yes! That is San Francisco you see in the background...right by my head. And you can see Sausalito, Tiburon, Angel Island. What beautiful days! What beautiful friends!
With my Buddhist Mentor Amos!
Amos taught me so much. He was the speaker at the first Buddhist meeting I attended. I thought the chanting sounded weird...like buzzing bees. Amos said to me
"You are never going to be able to practice this Buddhism...it is way too hard!"
So of course I worked harder than ever to learn gongyo (the recitation from the Lotus Sutra we do twice a day).
Amos also encouraged me to chant for my true desires...saying
"You a Buddhist DREAM BIG!"
Yesterday I chanted for 5 hours - today I chanted 2!
Here I am! Back at Life Itself!!!
After being sick last week, and finally unpacking my things from my trip and organizing my files from my office I'm Baaaaack!
Yesterday, April 6th I chanted for 5 hours in appreciation of my wonderful life and my own hopeful spirit. I am chanting each day to appreciate each moment, and for all the wonderful members in my district to deepen their faith and get tremendous benefit. What good is happiness if you can't share it? I want to help so many people be Buddhas and have incredible happiness. I mean, look at me...Mom just died...divorcing...laid off...so many would be bemoaning such a fate...but not me because I have a Gohonzon and I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo to it! Remember, the Gohonzon is actually a scroll depicting the highest life condition (the world of Buddhahood) that I have inside. So when I say I chant to it, I want you to understand that the scroll is inside my life...and I am drawing my power of the universe forth from WITHIN. And you can too! Anyone can! That is the source of my happiness!
So today I woke up with a headache and sad. It is only natural after putting forth a great cause (like chanting 5 hours) that the darkness inside my own life would come creeping out...but I know that is a benefit. I draw it forth so I can change that karma forever!
And all morning I battled negativity in my mind...and kept overcoming it...telling myself I am doing everything I should be doing at this time...and today I had a job interview and saw a job I really don't want. That's okay. I know I will find the right one...the one that is perfect for ME! I've had such great fortune in jobs. It hasn't ended because I got laid off...oh no no no. Something better is right around the corner for me. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!
After being sick last week, and finally unpacking my things from my trip and organizing my files from my office I'm Baaaaack!
Yesterday, April 6th I chanted for 5 hours in appreciation of my wonderful life and my own hopeful spirit. I am chanting each day to appreciate each moment, and for all the wonderful members in my district to deepen their faith and get tremendous benefit. What good is happiness if you can't share it? I want to help so many people be Buddhas and have incredible happiness. I mean, look at me...Mom just died...divorcing...laid off...so many would be bemoaning such a fate...but not me because I have a Gohonzon and I chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo to it! Remember, the Gohonzon is actually a scroll depicting the highest life condition (the world of Buddhahood) that I have inside. So when I say I chant to it, I want you to understand that the scroll is inside my life...and I am drawing my power of the universe forth from WITHIN. And you can too! Anyone can! That is the source of my happiness!
So today I woke up with a headache and sad. It is only natural after putting forth a great cause (like chanting 5 hours) that the darkness inside my own life would come creeping out...but I know that is a benefit. I draw it forth so I can change that karma forever!
And all morning I battled negativity in my mind...and kept overcoming it...telling myself I am doing everything I should be doing at this time...and today I had a job interview and saw a job I really don't want. That's okay. I know I will find the right one...the one that is perfect for ME! I've had such great fortune in jobs. It hasn't ended because I got laid off...oh no no no. Something better is right around the corner for me. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Embarking!
I'm baaack! Here I am ready to go. I must say I did bottom out there over the last week or so. I got sick and wasn't really able to chant and just felt my life force seeping away. Then, of course, I ran smack dab into the Easter Holiday and greeted it with a lack of sleep, and a sick body...what a recipe for missing my Mom on a holiday! I was just picturing her in her sweet violet chiffon outfit, with treats for the boys and her loving, loving soul. Sweet Mommy, I am thinking of you!
Today I awakened feeling better and ready to put the petal to the metal and create a brand new life. I chanted for an hour and a half so far, and I'm knocking things off my to-do list one by one.
Chanting this morning was so much fun. When I was away I handed out about 100 Nam Myoho Renge Kyo cards, and each person thanked me and said they would look into it. Today I chanted for each of them to become happy...picturing as many as I can remember! I also chanted for brave and vigorous youth to rise up to lead the Soka Gakkai.
When I was in San Francisco I went to see the youth produced "Rock the Era" presentation. It was fabulous. And I connected with the people who inspire me so much! Today I am cleaning out my car and unpacking fully and setting my sights on my brand new life. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!
Today I awakened feeling better and ready to put the petal to the metal and create a brand new life. I chanted for an hour and a half so far, and I'm knocking things off my to-do list one by one.
Chanting this morning was so much fun. When I was away I handed out about 100 Nam Myoho Renge Kyo cards, and each person thanked me and said they would look into it. Today I chanted for each of them to become happy...picturing as many as I can remember! I also chanted for brave and vigorous youth to rise up to lead the Soka Gakkai.
When I was in San Francisco I went to see the youth produced "Rock the Era" presentation. It was fabulous. And I connected with the people who inspire me so much! Today I am cleaning out my car and unpacking fully and setting my sights on my brand new life. Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Battling Negativity! It never takes a vacation!
It's amazing how the negative voices just rise up so easily even in the midst of beauty, love and happiness!
This morning I focused my prayer on defeating these voices! Here I am, having a great time and, of course, eating out at various wonderful Bay Area restaurants.
So today I feel like I've gained back the entire amount of weight I've worked so hard to lose! Now, I know it isn't true...but I hear the voices saying "see - here you are again in the same never-ending hunger - you'll never win this game!" ...those voices just wait for the opportunity to knock me down!
But no! I chanted to value my precious life...and to overcome those feelings of defeat...and I'm buying healthy food to get back on track right now!
It's beautiful, a little chilly here...amidst wonderful friends...all is well!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tiburon and Marin
I am writing this post from Amy and Ian's gorgeous Apple computer. I can't wait until I have an Apple myself...then an ipad (maybe) and an iphone (when Sprint allows). Great stuff!
Yesterday we spent the morning in San Anselmo and the afternoon in Tiburon. Tiburon has always been one of my favorite places to see the Bay Area from the water. We hung out at Sam's (where else?) and managed to keep the huge seagulls from stealing our food. We were all generations, young to older. What a blast. They say I brought the sunshine when I came! I say, "Oh Mannnn...I deserve this!"
Chanting away...and today meeting with my first Chapter leader in the SGI. She and I grew so much together as Buddhists. I watched her go from a nurse to the CEO of the largest hospital in the Bay Area...and she saw me start my family and grow as a person. I love reunions! I love my life!
Yesterday we spent the morning in San Anselmo and the afternoon in Tiburon. Tiburon has always been one of my favorite places to see the Bay Area from the water. We hung out at Sam's (where else?) and managed to keep the huge seagulls from stealing our food. We were all generations, young to older. What a blast. They say I brought the sunshine when I came! I say, "Oh Mannnn...I deserve this!"
Chanting away...and today meeting with my first Chapter leader in the SGI. She and I grew so much together as Buddhists. I watched her go from a nurse to the CEO of the largest hospital in the Bay Area...and she saw me start my family and grow as a person. I love reunions! I love my life!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Amy and Ian's
Here I am in San Anselmo California at my wonderful friend's house. It's so beautiful here amid the trees in Marin County...one of the most unique places on earth...
Hot Tubs...Chardonnay...life is good!!!!!
Hot Tubs...Chardonnay...life is good!!!!!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Soquel~Capitola~Santa Cruz
It is incredibly beautiful here on the coast of California...what a wonderful trip I'm having. Just picture the bright blue ocean...full sun...good friends...huge crashing waves...adorable beach towns...spectacular resorts...I know...it's amazing!
And the people in this part of the world are so friendly...maybe they are all from the Midwest :>
I'm chanting to open my life in so many ways...and to enjoy each moment...each and every moment.
What's not to like? We watched the sunset from he Santa Cruz pier...eating fresh crab and taking pictures of the sunset.
I've been giving people cards that say Nam Myoho Renge Kyo on them...with the website address on them. Everyone is so receptive. When I lived in the Bay Area I gave out these cards all the time. At the time my name was in the masthead of the Bay Guardian Newspaper. I would get calls from people all the time asking "Are you the Jamie Silver who told m about Nam Myoho Renge Kyo?" and I'd answer yes...and they'd tell me how their lives had changed in so many ways since starting to chant!!!
Aaaaaahhhh, that is the best!
And the people in this part of the world are so friendly...maybe they are all from the Midwest :>
I'm chanting to open my life in so many ways...and to enjoy each moment...each and every moment.
What's not to like? We watched the sunset from he Santa Cruz pier...eating fresh crab and taking pictures of the sunset.
I've been giving people cards that say Nam Myoho Renge Kyo on them...with the website address on them. Everyone is so receptive. When I lived in the Bay Area I gave out these cards all the time. At the time my name was in the masthead of the Bay Guardian Newspaper. I would get calls from people all the time asking "Are you the Jamie Silver who told m about Nam Myoho Renge Kyo?" and I'd answer yes...and they'd tell me how their lives had changed in so many ways since starting to chant!!!
Aaaaaahhhh, that is the best!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Returning to my Buddhist Roots Here
It was so exciting waking up today because my first stop was the San Francisco SGI Culture Center.I feel like I was born there! When I first began chanting in 1985 the Culture Center was in Daly City on the "Edge of the World"...literally on a cliff overlooking the Pacific. I would ride there on my little Riva 180 scooter with my big helmet thinking "because this is so hard and dangerous to get to~ I am REALLY changing my karma!" and I was!
I chanted so hard to have a culture center in the City...closer...central. I chanted SOOOOO hard that when we finally got our beautiful culture center it was a block from the Bay Guardian Newspaper where I worked. I opened that center as a Youth Division Byakuran...like an usher with an element of faith added in. We would help members with seating and other things and chant for the success of every meeting...for all the members to get benefit...
Returning to chant today was so wonderful! So many memories...here is where Juana stopped and asked me how I was doing...and I felt how deeply she cared about me...here is where I chanted for Daisaku Ikeda...and he came to San Francisco...here is where I chanted every day at lunch for an hour with wonderful Japanese friends.
Today, I chanted to blow my world wide open with possibilty for my one precious life. Here I am in one of the most creative cities in the world. What will I create next in this precious, precious life...how big can I dream? As one of my Buddhist mentors says: "You're a Buddhist...DREAM BIG!"
I chanted so hard to have a culture center in the City...closer...central. I chanted SOOOOO hard that when we finally got our beautiful culture center it was a block from the Bay Guardian Newspaper where I worked. I opened that center as a Youth Division Byakuran...like an usher with an element of faith added in. We would help members with seating and other things and chant for the success of every meeting...for all the members to get benefit...
Returning to chant today was so wonderful! So many memories...here is where Juana stopped and asked me how I was doing...and I felt how deeply she cared about me...here is where I chanted for Daisaku Ikeda...and he came to San Francisco...here is where I chanted every day at lunch for an hour with wonderful Japanese friends.
Today, I chanted to blow my world wide open with possibilty for my one precious life. Here I am in one of the most creative cities in the world. What will I create next in this precious, precious life...how big can I dream? As one of my Buddhist mentors says: "You're a Buddhist...DREAM BIG!"
First Night in San Francisco
It was a beautiful, bright evening for my first night back in the Bay Area. I got to my friend Eddie's close to 7:30. How myoho was it that he just moved into this gorgeous place with a deck almost twice the size of the apartment overlooking the castro all the way to the East Bay....
Eddie and I have been friends since we both traveled to Russia and Poland singing in a choir when we were teenagers. He and I are always on the same wavelength...he is actually part of my "family". He lived with us for six months when Aaron and Ben were little and is Uncle Eddie to them. He recently graduated from a cool course getting his Masters in Spiritual Psychology at the Santa Monica College. He and I talked late into the night and laughed and laughed...Eddie's current goal is to have the company he is with go public in a few years. yes!
Eddie and I have been friends since we both traveled to Russia and Poland singing in a choir when we were teenagers. He and I are always on the same wavelength...he is actually part of my "family". He lived with us for six months when Aaron and Ben were little and is Uncle Eddie to them. He recently graduated from a cool course getting his Masters in Spiritual Psychology at the Santa Monica College. He and I talked late into the night and laughed and laughed...Eddie's current goal is to have the company he is with go public in a few years. yes!
Totally Magical!!!
I am writing this from the most adorable little loft in Soquel California just outside of Santa Cruz! I bought a new little tiny computer just so I could write blogs while I'm here!
Landing in SF was an emotional experience...I was flooded with thoughts of how happy I always was to return to the Bay Area when I lived here from 1983-1998...the green hills (in March of course...later they will turn brown)...the ocean...the mountains...the lights twinkling on all the hills.
I had a great flight with a wonderful seat companion. He was my son's age. We talked about all kinds of things...his coool Apple computer and iphone...and the fascinating work his parents do. I started to realize that this trip is going to open me up to possibilities I haven't dreamed of. Here I am...returning to my Buddhist roots in creative San Francisco. What will I dream of for my one precious life. Everything is open to me now. I begin again! I soar!
Landing in SF was an emotional experience...I was flooded with thoughts of how happy I always was to return to the Bay Area when I lived here from 1983-1998...the green hills (in March of course...later they will turn brown)...the ocean...the mountains...the lights twinkling on all the hills.
I had a great flight with a wonderful seat companion. He was my son's age. We talked about all kinds of things...his coool Apple computer and iphone...and the fascinating work his parents do. I started to realize that this trip is going to open me up to possibilities I haven't dreamed of. Here I am...returning to my Buddhist roots in creative San Francisco. What will I dream of for my one precious life. Everything is open to me now. I begin again! I soar!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Chanting and Crying
Last night I dreamed I was watching my Mom cook and hearing the words to "For Baby" by John Denver...and I was crying in my dream. "And the wind will whisper your name to me, little birds will sing along in time...and leaves will bow down when YOU walk by...and morning bells will shine. I'll be there when you're feeling down to kiss away the tears if you cry..I'll share with you all the happiness I've found, a reflection of the love in your eyes" I wake up longing for her often...
The trip:
And this morning I have already chanted an hour of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo and before I knew it I was crying. I cried on and off through the whole hour. This trip seems a metaphor for my whole life now...here I am, heading off alone...into the great unknown. Just like in my life. I have to be resourceful! I have to keep plugged in completely to the power of the universe. I have to enjoy my OWN company and love myself!
I'll have to come up with some innovative ways to take care of myself...like pack in smaller bags once I get there because my suitcase will probably be too heavy. I chanted for all the life force of the universe to well up within my life and protect me...for the flights to be on time...for the car rental people to know I'm coming...and I may just go out and buy a baby computer for the trip. The idea of not being connected whenever I want just leaves me dumbfounded. And I can't buy an iphone until the fall when hopefully Sprint and iphone are compatible. You can be sure I'll be posting! Bon Voyage on this rainy day. Maybe Chicago is sorry to see me leaving!
The trip:
And this morning I have already chanted an hour of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo and before I knew it I was crying. I cried on and off through the whole hour. This trip seems a metaphor for my whole life now...here I am, heading off alone...into the great unknown. Just like in my life. I have to be resourceful! I have to keep plugged in completely to the power of the universe. I have to enjoy my OWN company and love myself!
I'll have to come up with some innovative ways to take care of myself...like pack in smaller bags once I get there because my suitcase will probably be too heavy. I chanted for all the life force of the universe to well up within my life and protect me...for the flights to be on time...for the car rental people to know I'm coming...and I may just go out and buy a baby computer for the trip. The idea of not being connected whenever I want just leaves me dumbfounded. And I can't buy an iphone until the fall when hopefully Sprint and iphone are compatible. You can be sure I'll be posting! Bon Voyage on this rainy day. Maybe Chicago is sorry to see me leaving!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
California Here I come!
Hello! Tomorrow I leave for California for two weeks! I'll be visiting dear friends all over Northern California! My son will be joining me there and we'll have a blast....in the redwoods, by the ocean...in the mountains! I'll still post when I can!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo everyday!
Yesterday, yet again, and ever since the 22nd of this month I have upped my chanting to THREE hours a day. And I have been doing it...every day. It helps not to be working! (Although I did chant three hours a day in the fall of 2007 when I was working - for 70 days)
What can I tell you?
I feel things moving.
I'd better, you say!
Yesterday I realized, when chanting for my son in college that I had to drive the three hours with a hand delivered care package for him. He'd been sick all week and I knew I had to go. How it worked out is even more magical than that, because my younger son went with me and we had some quality time to talk about some very important events in his life...then he had a chance to talk to his brother as well...maybe that is the real reason I had to go. I was at an hour and a half of chanting and I just felt the tears coming down my cheeks and I jumped up and said I have to go! I was headed down with my younger son within moments.
I'm going to go start my chanting now, and will post more soon.
On the 11th I go to the Bay Area for two weeks! I'll make sure to post from my travels.
What can I tell you?
I feel things moving.
I'd better, you say!
Yesterday I realized, when chanting for my son in college that I had to drive the three hours with a hand delivered care package for him. He'd been sick all week and I knew I had to go. How it worked out is even more magical than that, because my younger son went with me and we had some quality time to talk about some very important events in his life...then he had a chance to talk to his brother as well...maybe that is the real reason I had to go. I was at an hour and a half of chanting and I just felt the tears coming down my cheeks and I jumped up and said I have to go! I was headed down with my younger son within moments.
I'm going to go start my chanting now, and will post more soon.
On the 11th I go to the Bay Area for two weeks! I'll make sure to post from my travels.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Buddhist Bliss!
That's just what I'm experiencing right now! Buddhist bliss...feeling...knowing...believing and seeing that my desires are actually leading me to the deepest happiness I've ever known...because they are leading me to chant hard from the deepest core of my being...as Nichiren Daishonin says "chant as if to make fire from wood, or water from a dry well" THAT kind of chanting!
You should just see me...since 2005 I have lost over 65 pounds...35 of that since October 28th of last year! I fit in the cutest clothes ever!
Think about the changes in my life since I began this blog and started chanting 2 hours a day. At that time I was soooo sad. That's one of the reasons I began the two hours a day...also I was entering into my 25th year of Buddhist practice and aware I wanted to make some huge changes in my life! And that's what I've done...
My husband and I are amicably divorcing and looking at the next phases of our lives now that our Buddha Boys are almost grown. We have fulfilled our parenting mission together. My desire is for us to have the kind of life after divorce that will inspire people...that we'll still work well together for the good of the kids and remain the close friends we've always been. (Can I just say that this is an enormous breakthrough)!!
And now I have something new and exciting and that is an opportunity to recreate myself in the work world. I am no longer employed by the retirement community I worked for over the past 4 years...and the future is so bright for me. I'm not sure exactly where it will lead me...but right now I'm planning a trip to go visit my dear friends in the Bay Area for a few weeks. I have friends all over and it's been a few years since we had good quality time together. Yaaay!
And this morning I chanted for 2 hours with a desire I can't share with you just yet...one I thought I couldn't have...one that would literally make the impossible happen. And here I am, on top of the world.
Remember - there are no bad desires! You desires are yours alone...if you don't get what you are chanting for you will get something better.
You should just see me...since 2005 I have lost over 65 pounds...35 of that since October 28th of last year! I fit in the cutest clothes ever!
Think about the changes in my life since I began this blog and started chanting 2 hours a day. At that time I was soooo sad. That's one of the reasons I began the two hours a day...also I was entering into my 25th year of Buddhist practice and aware I wanted to make some huge changes in my life! And that's what I've done...
My husband and I are amicably divorcing and looking at the next phases of our lives now that our Buddha Boys are almost grown. We have fulfilled our parenting mission together. My desire is for us to have the kind of life after divorce that will inspire people...that we'll still work well together for the good of the kids and remain the close friends we've always been. (Can I just say that this is an enormous breakthrough)!!
And now I have something new and exciting and that is an opportunity to recreate myself in the work world. I am no longer employed by the retirement community I worked for over the past 4 years...and the future is so bright for me. I'm not sure exactly where it will lead me...but right now I'm planning a trip to go visit my dear friends in the Bay Area for a few weeks. I have friends all over and it's been a few years since we had good quality time together. Yaaay!
And this morning I chanted for 2 hours with a desire I can't share with you just yet...one I thought I couldn't have...one that would literally make the impossible happen. And here I am, on top of the world.
Remember - there are no bad desires! You desires are yours alone...if you don't get what you are chanting for you will get something better.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Chanting so hard
I chanted for five hours yesterday because this is such a challenging time for me...and I gave the lecture on the Gosho called "Letters to the Brothers" It is all about how negative forces ruse up to obstruct our practice and discourage us when we are practicing CORRECTLY, and we can either be swayed by them or fired up by them.
Yesterday I chose to be fired up and chanted for five hours.
I chanted for the pain in my life to end. That's it. Done. No more physical pain in my leg...no more emotional pain wrenching at my heart. No more pain. Done finito. Now, I know there might still be some pain, because pain is part of life, but lately I've just been feeling I have more than my fair share! And I'm done with it.
In my chanting I dug so deep and I commanded my life to change.
And you know what? Today was a different day...a suffering that I have been suffering from for so long...was lifted, and hope is shining in my eyes, and I am a different person. A dear friend and I reunited and shared a magical afternoon.
And I can go on...and make it through the next couple months, where I have a job transition...and I'm divorcing my husband...and I am still missing my Mom so very, very much.
I can make it and persevere.
I know, because I have a gohonzon, and I chant to it, that I will come out of this dark time with absolute victory in my life. That is my vow. I vow every day to win in my life...to have victory in my health, my finances, my job, my relationships, my family...every single area of my life...my wonderful District of incredible SGI members...everything.
Yes, I am still struggling...but that's the POINT! I won't give up. Watch me! Come with me!
Yesterday I chose to be fired up and chanted for five hours.
I chanted for the pain in my life to end. That's it. Done. No more physical pain in my leg...no more emotional pain wrenching at my heart. No more pain. Done finito. Now, I know there might still be some pain, because pain is part of life, but lately I've just been feeling I have more than my fair share! And I'm done with it.
In my chanting I dug so deep and I commanded my life to change.
And you know what? Today was a different day...a suffering that I have been suffering from for so long...was lifted, and hope is shining in my eyes, and I am a different person. A dear friend and I reunited and shared a magical afternoon.
And I can go on...and make it through the next couple months, where I have a job transition...and I'm divorcing my husband...and I am still missing my Mom so very, very much.
I can make it and persevere.
I know, because I have a gohonzon, and I chant to it, that I will come out of this dark time with absolute victory in my life. That is my vow. I vow every day to win in my life...to have victory in my health, my finances, my job, my relationships, my family...every single area of my life...my wonderful District of incredible SGI members...everything.
Yes, I am still struggling...but that's the POINT! I won't give up. Watch me! Come with me!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Major Goal Achieved! Breakthroughs!
Well...I'm making it through the storm in a grand way, that's all I can say. Things have taken such a turn for the best! Business is booming, I'm in demand with so many cool things...and I have move ins happening. I've been invited to wonderful parties...things are just hopping. I spent yesterday with my wonderful son in Champaign...watching him run...going out to dinner...talking about the really important things. He went to WDC at the winter break and lived as a homeless person for 2 days and 2 nights...he got to see what an outcast really feels like...and there he is chanting in his fraternity at Illinois...MAN!
What a great day...and my younger son ran his best in a meet on Friday night and we reconnected with all our dear running family friends. I came home last night to a living room full of teenagers - I jsut love having them around!
And this morning I made it to the ILAC (Illinois Area Community Center) where I always chant ROUSING...FIGHTING daimoku with a great group. This morning I led the chanting for the last half hour of the 2 hour chanting session (toso). I always begin the chanting by inviting President Ikeda to join us in our chanting, and I focus on connecting deeply with my inner being and my desires ---I chant to connect soooo strongly, that those who are chanting with me feel a deeper connection than they EVER have! Literally, I was perspiring, and I never perspire! It's amazing when the energy just flows!!!
Then I was treated to a wonderful party...and did some fun shopping...and watched some amazing olympics...great weekend!!!
And I reached my diet goal today! I reached the goal I set for myself...I may decide to still lose some more, but I have reached a landmark in my life and I feel great! Now, to enter the world of eating other things...geez, I hardly even want to try. Maybe I'll live on steak and chicken for the rest of my life! I can't believe the cute clothes I'm wearing.
AND I got rid of a longing that has plagued me for a year. I passed the year mark of an event, and just determined to myself that something would go click in my heart...and my feelings would change...I would no longer feel a longing for something so deeply...something I clearly cannot have at this time.
I feel so peaceful and happy.
This Wednesday is the Women's meeting at my house...a very special meeting. Email if you want to come. I am chanting for everyone who comes to have a major breakthrough in their lives!!! It could be you!
Hugs, Jamie
What a great day...and my younger son ran his best in a meet on Friday night and we reconnected with all our dear running family friends. I came home last night to a living room full of teenagers - I jsut love having them around!
And this morning I made it to the ILAC (Illinois Area Community Center) where I always chant ROUSING...FIGHTING daimoku with a great group. This morning I led the chanting for the last half hour of the 2 hour chanting session (toso). I always begin the chanting by inviting President Ikeda to join us in our chanting, and I focus on connecting deeply with my inner being and my desires ---I chant to connect soooo strongly, that those who are chanting with me feel a deeper connection than they EVER have! Literally, I was perspiring, and I never perspire! It's amazing when the energy just flows!!!
Then I was treated to a wonderful party...and did some fun shopping...and watched some amazing olympics...great weekend!!!
And I reached my diet goal today! I reached the goal I set for myself...I may decide to still lose some more, but I have reached a landmark in my life and I feel great! Now, to enter the world of eating other things...geez, I hardly even want to try. Maybe I'll live on steak and chicken for the rest of my life! I can't believe the cute clothes I'm wearing.
AND I got rid of a longing that has plagued me for a year. I passed the year mark of an event, and just determined to myself that something would go click in my heart...and my feelings would change...I would no longer feel a longing for something so deeply...something I clearly cannot have at this time.
I feel so peaceful and happy.
This Wednesday is the Women's meeting at my house...a very special meeting. Email if you want to come. I am chanting for everyone who comes to have a major breakthrough in their lives!!! It could be you!
Hugs, Jamie
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Battling it out with my own karma
Yesterday as I was lamenting about my current state of limbo and fear of the future and anger I was reminded that ALL people are a mirror of my life...and the darkness I am feeling already existed within my life before another person drew it out.
I just hate hearing that. But know it's true...
So today I am chanting to somehow appreciate the fact that this darkness is coming out of my life so I can change this karma forever and end the rage and fear that settles within me...and to appreciate the person acting as a catalyst so I can release it!
Remember - I can change this karma...these feelings...that's the beauty of this practice!
I just hate hearing that. But know it's true...
So today I am chanting to somehow appreciate the fact that this darkness is coming out of my life so I can change this karma forever and end the rage and fear that settles within me...and to appreciate the person acting as a catalyst so I can release it!
Remember - I can change this karma...these feelings...that's the beauty of this practice!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Hello!
Oh so many changes...
I am still diligently pouring my life into my Daimoku (chanting) every day. I'm chanting for the growth of the Downers Grove District...and that all members everywhere experience benefits and share this practice.
AND I'm chanting for protection and wisdom! I decided not to buy that condo I blogged about a few weeks ago. I'm not sure if I just got cold feet or I just realized I don't want to have something sit on the market for a long time when I decide to sell it! I don't know...I still think about it. And I'm looking at apartments and other alternatives. We're also starting soon to figure out how we'll divide things.
It's sad you know. I'm married to a very good person. We raised two excellent young men. But it's time - truly...to make this move!
So every morning I sit and true-up in front of my altar. I say what I'm thinking and feeling...(in my mind as I'm chanting) then I set my sights on chanting in appreciation...and I move into what I want to create...including chanting for the happiness of everyone in my life.
This is an interesting time.
This month is Women's Month in Buddhism. Last night we got together to chant, and learn more about this practice and get to know each other. We are so lucky to have so many cultures practicing Buddhism. No one is left out!
Let me hear from you - and I'll blog more often!
I am still diligently pouring my life into my Daimoku (chanting) every day. I'm chanting for the growth of the Downers Grove District...and that all members everywhere experience benefits and share this practice.
AND I'm chanting for protection and wisdom! I decided not to buy that condo I blogged about a few weeks ago. I'm not sure if I just got cold feet or I just realized I don't want to have something sit on the market for a long time when I decide to sell it! I don't know...I still think about it. And I'm looking at apartments and other alternatives. We're also starting soon to figure out how we'll divide things.
It's sad you know. I'm married to a very good person. We raised two excellent young men. But it's time - truly...to make this move!
So every morning I sit and true-up in front of my altar. I say what I'm thinking and feeling...(in my mind as I'm chanting) then I set my sights on chanting in appreciation...and I move into what I want to create...including chanting for the happiness of everyone in my life.
This is an interesting time.
This month is Women's Month in Buddhism. Last night we got together to chant, and learn more about this practice and get to know each other. We are so lucky to have so many cultures practicing Buddhism. No one is left out!
Let me hear from you - and I'll blog more often!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Huge Changes!!!!
Ok, are you ready for a huge breakthrough?
Are you sitting down?
There's a reason I haven't written this blog for awhile and it's not only because my mother died.
I am starting a brand new life.
On October 28th I started losing weight rapidly after watching a friend's success. The diet is based on hormones and she said it gave her a "whole new life" ~ not just a trim body.
Then Mom died...and in the month that followed I was flooded by insight, and of course continued chanting my two hours a day of daimoku. Many things conspired beautifully for me to realize that now it the time for me to end my marriage and begin the next phase of my life. I couldn't write in here until we talked to the children and told the families...I just didn't want anyone to hear of this by blog!
It is so amazing. My husband is going to buy me out of the house and keep it so Ben and Aaron will not lose their home base. I am buying a condo in a highrise 5 minutes from here. I have the signed contract...and the pieces are coming into play for it to happen, It's so beautiful...and I can picture my new life there.
I just decided I could not wait another 18 months until Ben graduates. My life does not need to be on hold anymore. I am, of course, chanting so much for my husband and my children. My determination is for this process to be an inspiration to people...just like my Mom's life celebration...unlike anything people have ever seen before...and for each one of our lives to be strengthened and enriched by going through this.
So far, so good. The kids are great. I have amazing children. My husband and I have worked well as parents. We are still going to be parents, but don't need to live together. I hope we will always be friends. He and I both deserve to be with people who delight us and adore us!
I started the year with such a bang and the momentum continues!
I was appointed District Leader of the SGI Downers Grove District on New Year's Day! Since we don't have clergy, or "churches" in the SGI, that's almost equivalent to being a church leader...I am responsible for helping people learn to chant and to apply this practice to their lives to attain great benefit!!! What an honor! I am so excited!
I even had the courage (I was shaking, really!) to stand up at Rotary during Good News/Bad News and tell people about my Buddhist appointment. I added that in Buddhism we don't replace God or Christ with the Buddha and pray instead to him. We believe the Buddha Nature and indeed, the entire universe, exists within each person and can be tapped by the chanting of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. I believe that is an important distinction for my non-Buddhist friends to know!
Wish me luck and congratulations! This is a huge breakthrough in my life that I've been building up to for so many years. I know this two hour a day Daimoku campaign has given me the strength, insight, and courage to change my life for the better. And as I mentioned, it is my determination that each member of my family flourishes through this decision!!!!
I'll be writing here a lot more often...keeping you posted.
Are you sitting down?
There's a reason I haven't written this blog for awhile and it's not only because my mother died.
I am starting a brand new life.
On October 28th I started losing weight rapidly after watching a friend's success. The diet is based on hormones and she said it gave her a "whole new life" ~ not just a trim body.
Then Mom died...and in the month that followed I was flooded by insight, and of course continued chanting my two hours a day of daimoku. Many things conspired beautifully for me to realize that now it the time for me to end my marriage and begin the next phase of my life. I couldn't write in here until we talked to the children and told the families...I just didn't want anyone to hear of this by blog!
It is so amazing. My husband is going to buy me out of the house and keep it so Ben and Aaron will not lose their home base. I am buying a condo in a highrise 5 minutes from here. I have the signed contract...and the pieces are coming into play for it to happen, It's so beautiful...and I can picture my new life there.
I just decided I could not wait another 18 months until Ben graduates. My life does not need to be on hold anymore. I am, of course, chanting so much for my husband and my children. My determination is for this process to be an inspiration to people...just like my Mom's life celebration...unlike anything people have ever seen before...and for each one of our lives to be strengthened and enriched by going through this.
So far, so good. The kids are great. I have amazing children. My husband and I have worked well as parents. We are still going to be parents, but don't need to live together. I hope we will always be friends. He and I both deserve to be with people who delight us and adore us!
I started the year with such a bang and the momentum continues!
I was appointed District Leader of the SGI Downers Grove District on New Year's Day! Since we don't have clergy, or "churches" in the SGI, that's almost equivalent to being a church leader...I am responsible for helping people learn to chant and to apply this practice to their lives to attain great benefit!!! What an honor! I am so excited!
I even had the courage (I was shaking, really!) to stand up at Rotary during Good News/Bad News and tell people about my Buddhist appointment. I added that in Buddhism we don't replace God or Christ with the Buddha and pray instead to him. We believe the Buddha Nature and indeed, the entire universe, exists within each person and can be tapped by the chanting of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. I believe that is an important distinction for my non-Buddhist friends to know!
Wish me luck and congratulations! This is a huge breakthrough in my life that I've been building up to for so many years. I know this two hour a day Daimoku campaign has given me the strength, insight, and courage to change my life for the better. And as I mentioned, it is my determination that each member of my family flourishes through this decision!!!!
I'll be writing here a lot more often...keeping you posted.
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