More about changing relationships

This week I've written about determinations and changing poison into medicine in all areas of our lives. 
Today I want to remind you that when you want to change a difficult relationship into a great one, determinations and chanting are important, but please remember that your everyday actions make a huge difference. 


If people come to you saying bad things about the person you are focusing on - you must not join the party of people speaking ill of that person! Your everyday actions, thoughts and words are ALL CAUSES that you are making. You want to focus on making good causes at all times. 


If you want to change a troubling relationship into a fabulous one please reread the post from Monday. Then watch your actions, and refuse to join the folks who are badmouthing the person whose happiness you are chanting for so deeply. 


All of this is up to you. 


Your happiness rests on you doing your own human revolution. You may think that your chanting for the difficult person is about THEM. But NO! It is about your human revolution. It is about YOU creating the flow of energy that will attract only amazingly great things into your life! It is about you changing from the inside so that you can build a solid sense of self that will be strong and happy NO MATTER WHAT your circumstances!!! It is about YOU, and the other person...and YOU are leading the way for the happiness of all humanity. YOU are opening the door to happiness in your life, in the life of the "difficult" person, and in the happiness of us all because, as you know so well...we are all interconnected!!!

Where else do we need determinations?

I thought about the nature of determinations all day yesterday.


And I saw something in my own life, and found some great quotes I'd like to share with you. 


I started thinking about the areas of my life where I have the most complaints rumbling around in my head. And I realized that there is a direct relationship between complaints and a lack of a clear determination to WIN. 


Remember that Human Revolution is not easy. Only lions can roar! 


It takes courage to realize that the things you (me) have been complaining about (in our heads or out loud) are EXACTLY the same areas where we lack strong determinations. 


What other determinations can you summon from the depths of your being? 
What are the areas you've been "hoping" will change, but you don't have a strong determination to win? 


I'm looking at those areas and am about to sit down and chant my morning hour of daimoku with an open mind and an open heart for change in my own life...perspective...and most of all fresh, clear determinations. 


June's issue of Living Buddhism (available at US Buddhist Centers, by calling 310-260-8900, or visiting www.sgi-usa.org) is excellent, as always. 


Under the section "Writings for Discussion Meetings - Building a Solid Sense of Self" the article talks about Nichiren Daishonin's Determination. 
He knew that he would be persecuted as a votary of the Lotus Sutra, and even before anything happened he resolved (made the determination) that "whatever might happen to me in the future, I must not bear any hatred toward others." 
The article continues, "When we find ourselves in a difficult situation we can use it as an opportunity to apply our Buddhist practice to our daily lives and transform the situation. It's also important that we self-reflect on our own actions and continue to polish our character and how we interact with and treat others....with difficulties at work, at home or in other areas of life, once we make a firm determination to win, it does not matter what others choose to do or say. If we persevere with confidence and dignity on the course we have chosen, we can break through any obstacle. Through our Buddhist practice , we can open up and transform all areas of our life, no matter the difficulties." 


I feel this with my life and am working on fresh new determinations in the areas of my life that could stand a fresh blast of the light of Daimoku. 


In the article Daisaku Ikeda is quoted as saying "Building a solid and unmoving self like Mount Fuji means doing our Human Revolution, elevating our state of life, based on our practice of faith. It means developing a solid self that is never defeated by our environment or circumstances and is capable of transforming everything into happiness and victory. True Happiness shines in the lives of those who possess such an indomitable spirit." 


YES! 

Determination! THE KEY to changing poison into medicine

In the last post I talked about turning a negative relationship into a positive one by chanting for the person's happiness, and chanting for their Buddha Nature to hear YOUR Buddha Nature. 


Take a look at the post if you want to change an unfulfilling relationship in a very profound way. 


The first thing to do is think of your determination and solidify it in your heart. 


What is a Determination? 


A Determination is a strongly worded cry FROM YOUR HEART TO YOUR LIFE. 
If is not a wish. It is not a plea. It is not an entreaty. 


A determination is a VOW to change your karma, change your life and create a positive outcome.


For example, a determination to change a relationship:


I am determined that through my daimoku I can change the poison of this relationship into medicine. I am determined that through my daimoku _______(person's name) will become happy. The sun will rise in his/her life. I can picture him/her smiling with happiness right now! I am determined to permanently change the karma in my life that to have a person like this cause me pain. From now on I am determined to change my life on the inside so that a situation like this never causes me pain again. My whole family (or work life, or whatever realm this person inhabits in your life) will be positively transformed from this moment forth, starting with the inner change that is happening in MY life. I am a Buddha. I now summon the power of the universe that is my birthright to shine a light on this area of my life and transform it forever!


When I make a strong determination I write it down and look at it every day. It is a powerful tool for changing your karma. 


I have many determinations! Determinations give you power. You can put a date on them if you want to. It is up to you! 


Go forth! Be strong! You are a Buddha roaring with the heart of a lion king. To be a Buddhist takes GUTS. What have you been putting up with, or afraid of, that you can blast with the light of determination and daimoku? This is where Human Revolution STARTS!!!

The Secret to having ALL your relationships be fulfilling

I have a friend who has a difficult relative who has been disturbing the peace in their family for some time. 
We all have people that disturb us, right? 


Well, I have found that there is only one solution for this problem and it works absolutely 100 percent of the time. Not only that, it will absolutely turn poison into medicine in your life. Seriously. I guarantee it. It works every single time. 


Today I went to the meeting here in Chicago with Danny Nagashima. It was great. I saw Danny last week in Los Angeles, and it was great to hear his lecture on the Treasure Tower today. He's so animated, so humble, so alive! If you get the chance to see him DO!!!


And there was an experience that included a really great thought. I have said before that the ONLY way to solve any relationship issues is to chant for the other person's happiness. I have done this so many times and gotten amazing results. One of two things either happens. Sometimes the person and I just fall in love in a really great way, and we end up having an unexpectedly great relationship. OR, they leave my environment. Either way, I concentrate on really, sincerely chanting for their happiness. 


In today's experience, the person said "Chant that their Buddha Nature hears YOUR Buddha Nature." And I thought "Yes!" That's it exactly. 


Why does chanting for another's happiness have such deep significance in our lives? It's because our lives and the lives of every other person on the planet, are interconnected. We are all one life. Science is proving this over and over. Nothing exists in a vacuum. When I chant for another person's happiness, I also chant for my happiness, and I do my human revolution. Just by transcending my anger at another, and chanting for their happiness....it is making a huge cause! 


And you can do this in all instances. 


Last night my friend was telling me about this "evil" person in his life. I understand that she has been a huge disappointment and caused a lot of pain. I said that chanting for her happiness was the only answer and he said "But she's just evil." And I said that she is a reflection of his own life...part of his karma that he needs to change...and that all life is interconnected. Her suffering is what is causing her "evilness", and he can chant for her happiness and it will raise his life-condition and change the dynamic of their entire family. In the end....he may look back at this time and say "Thank You!" to her for helping him do his human revolution. And, to my great happinness, he agreed to chant for her. I will join him in is prayer. 


I also reminded him that he is not asking anyone or anything for favors or blessings when he chants. He is only summoning the power of the universe that is rightfully HIS. That power is rightfully ALL OF OURS. And he needs to make a determination towards the happiness of his whole family. 


This type of prayer is karma changing. This is what human revolution is all about. This is the real stuff...the hard stuff....and the BEST STUFF for our lives. 
I challenge you to change the dynamic between you and someone you have problems with. You can do it. We can all do this. 


If you have a benefit write me! I want to hear! If you want me to share it with the other readers let me know!

Back to Business...and blogging! And the Marvelous May Campaign!

I'm so sorry I could not write very much while I was in California. Now it's Memorial Day in America. I just put on a memorial day party on my first day back. My apartment is almost cleaned and I can take a few moments to write. 


This vacation was such a special time. It was the first time my boys and I have gone on a long vacation together. Ever. And it was so perfect. Every single morning we joined our voices in harmony by chanting and doing gongyo. It is impossible to describe the splendor of chanting with your children...through all of their lives. I remember their tiny little voices when they were little "OK Mommy" they'd say when I invited them to chant. Now, at the ages of 22 and 19 they are men, and their sonorous voices send chills down my spine when we chant together. And when you chant together like this...well, you just KNOW the day will hold wonderful tidings!


And our prayers gave us the most rhythmical and beautiful vacation ever. We never argued...we always agreed on what we wanted to do...and we went from one precious moment to the next. Since we have so many dear friends in California we spent almost every night in one of their homes. We stayed in San Anselmo, Benicia, Agoura Hills and Los Angeles. And we were on our own through Santa Cruz, Big Sur and Pismo Beach. 


And on Saturday night we were at a huge Buddhist leader's meeting in Santa Monica at the Ikeda Auditorium. The passion of the Taiko drummers was amazing. And I gained an even deeper understanding about the May Contribution Campaign. 
It really exists for us to challenge us ALL to change our karma regarding money and what we call "fortune". Most people do not come to this practice already rich. Most are struggling in some way. That is precisely why many begin the difficult practice of chanting. When we challenge ourselves to contribute a specific amount during the May contribution campaign we can use it as a cause to change something deep within our lives. We can choose what to change. We can change our financial karma forever. As Soka Gakkai Buddhists we MUST change our financial karma. We have the opportunity to inspire so many who are still suffering. 


And if we study and truly understand this practice we KNOW that the only way to change any of our circumstances starts with changing our lives on the INSIDE...doing our own Human Revolution...changing the core of our lives so that our circumstances can change to reflect our diamond-like selves. 


That is where the financial contribution campaign comes in. Every May we make determinations and goals. 


I heard many experiences about finances. Kate was chanting to be able to donate a certain amount and she didn't know exactly where it was going to come from. She got a call about a substitute teaching assignment. And they told her they had no money to give her for "prep" time. Ever teacher has to prep. If they don't pay you for prep, you still do it, and essentially work those extra prep hours for free. Kate said "No, I won't take it without prep time" and she said there was silence on the other end...then the person who wanted to hire her agreed to her price. 


Kate stressed that it's not just about the money. It is about how we value ourselves as people. It is about what we feel we deserve and standing up for ourselves. YES. I believe we all need to learn this more deeply...and put it into practice! 


We ALL need to really value our lives...our worth...ourselves as noble Boddhisatvas of the earth! 


I am still collecting your experiences! Let me hear from you!

Pismo Beach Sunset

Beautiful, isn't it? 

We spent 7 hours winding our way down Highway One, clinging to the coast. 
It was majestic, sunny, windy in some places...indescribably beautiful. 
We made friends with some adorable beach squirrels who clearly loved people (and bread!)

After making our way down Big Sur slowly, we landed at Pismo Beach and found the coolest hotel overlooking the beach. The waves were still big and the water was still the incredible indigo of the Big Sur Coast. We stayed at the Kon Tiki Inn and enjoyed every last minute of ocean view, ocean sound, ocean smell. I would love to return some day!
Now we're in Los Angeles and will be spending the weekend with Hal, Kate and Sarah. If you've been reading this blog for awhile you know that Kate introduced me to this practice and is my mentor. I will have lots of encouragement to share with you from this weekend. Today we'll be going to the Getty Museum. It's perched high above the LA Basin...has glorious views and incredible art. The structure IS the art, the setting, location and views are all a part of the art. 


We shall see...what will today hold. 
Now to chant! 

Big Sur Today!

Aaron and Ben on Big Sur...making our way on a beautiful, sunny, spectacular day!
I chanted about this vacation for months...and we are having a great time!