Chanting to transform negative relationships works

Yes, we are all connected.

Suppose we have someone at work we don't get along with...or a family member that is giving us problems. What is the best way to handle this situation as a Buddhist? 

Many of us have proven, time and again, that chanting for that person's happiness changes everything. Chanting for their happiness might not sound like something you want to do, or even feel capable of, but it works every single time, I promise. 

Here are two examples: 

The first time I tried this I hadn't been chanting all that long and I was selling advertising for the Bay Guardian Newspaper. This was before so much of the technology we have now. Ads were placed on the boards by hand, and it was all meticulously done. I sold a lot of advertising. And the person who trafficked my ads in production (I'll call her Katia) was always upset with me for some reason or other. It got to the point that she was really driving me crazy. So I sought guidance from one of my seniors in faith, who said I should chant for Katia's happiness, because my prayer would affect her state of life, and the energy between us would change. 

I'll be honest, I thought it would be really difficult, if not impossible, to truly chant and desire this person's happiness. But the senior in faith told me to "fake it till you make it." In other words, start chanting for Katia's even if I couldn't really put my heart into it. She told me to picture Katia with a big smile on her face, and sooner or later my prayer for her happiness would become sincere. 

This is exactly what happened. Within a very short period of time I found myself earnestly desiring happiness for Katia, and knowing in my heart that my chanting was going to have an effect. 

About a month later, Katia announced that she was getting engaged and moving to Los Angeles. She was happy and so was I!

I realized that through this practice I was actually exercising my muscle of compassion. After that, chanting for anyone I was having problems with came much easier. 

Another example was when I went to work for a larger company here in the Midwest. I could tell, that for no apparent reason, one of the employees really didn't like me, (I'll call her Sharon). She never said anything negative, and I didn't work with her very closely, but I could feel her hair standing on end when she saw me. So I decided to chant for her happiness every day for months. 

Instead of leaving the company like Katia did, Sharon just totally changed her feelings for me and came to love and respect me. She served on several of my committees and spoke very highly of me. She and I put together a Holiday party for the senior staff based on kind words and love. We worked together happily for many years. 

Throughout the years of my practice I have proven over and over that chanting for another person's happiness has a profound effect, and that I can GENERATE compassion by exercising my muscle of faith. 

Is there anyone you have been resenting who you could chant for? 

If you have a positive experience based on this (or any) post please let me know ~ all the readers would like to hear your experiences too. 

Living a Life of Strength through Daimoku

"The moment we resolve "I will become healthy!" "I will become strong!" "I will work cheerfully for kosen-rufu!" our lives begin to move in that direction. We have to make up our minds."

 - Daily Encouragement by Daisaku Ikeda

I love that quote from President Ikeda. He is so right. 
When I chant I focus on expanding my life for Kosen Rufu (world peace), and I continually chant to strengthen my life and raise my life condition so that I experience every moment as the Buddha I am.  

On Saturday I was planning to bring some friends to a very far neighborhood in Chicago for a CD release party. As I was returning from lunch with my son, my front right tire hit a pothole in the road that was impossible to see. It was a loud and scary sound. Later when my friends and I were ready to go out my tire was completely flat. 

Since my life condition was so high this didn't ruin my night in the least. I wasn't upset. We took one of my friend's  cars and I drove since I don't mind city driving. We got home very late and had a blast dancing and listening to the band. 

The next morning I had to figure out what to do with my car. 
When you're "in rhythm" everything just works out beautifully. 

I contacted a couple of people to see if they could help. One of them was my neighbor whom I don't really know well, but he was happy to help. He is new to this area and finds he has a lot of time on the weekends. He put the spare on, and when we were on the way to the tire place I was reminded that I actually had an extra tire in case this one was ruined. I had forgotten all about that extra tire. 

The trip to the tire store was actually fun and we went food shopping at some stores my new neighbor didn't know about and appreciated finding out about. And the tire store ended up charging me NOTHING to install the extra tire I had. All around it was not just a painless experience of having a flat tire. It was an enjoyable one. 

I tell you this story to illustrate that when our lives are strong, when WE are strong, even our obstacles can be something we appreciate and sometimes, even enjoy. At the heart of it all is our life condition, our connection to our Buddha Nature and our connection to our environment. 

Chanting to strengthen or lives and raise our life conditions is so important to our own happiness and the happiness of everyone around us. When we are strong we are unshakable and we are happy. 

Our happiness is contagious. We reach everyone with our happiness.

Strength equals happiness. Chanting to strengthen our lives is always a great thing to do. 

Have a great strong and happy day! 

Bridget from Australia's Inspiring Experience

Introduction:

I've been chanting for  just over 2 years.

I rarely watch tele. So most evenings I chant for an hour at least each evening and when in Sydney went to a meeting once a week. I love reading, so I read the goshos, experiences, blogs etc in my spare time.

I heard at a meeting an experience where the guy was deadlocked. He wanted to be in a musical production and after auditions he was not successful. His guidance from a senior was: 

"How often do you tell yourself your a Buddha?"

He continued to chant, support his group in their endeavors and tell himself every time negativity arose that he is Buddha. He got a call 2 months later that they had decided they need him for the show. Despite being well into rehearsing. He started with them and toured all over Europe.

That experience was really magical so I try to remember everyday I'm Buddha.

Mostly I try to remember that every challenge is teaching me something. So I must try and improve myself and my wisdom then benefit will come. This is not a wish granting machine. I have to keep working on my human revolution.

I determined this year to really work on slander and gossip. To never say a bad thing about anyone be it a celebrity I don't know, my boss, a difficult colleague. I must see the potential Buddha in everyone. When some one speaks to me, to be really present and truly listen to them.

I need to keep looking at myself honestly as that's how I can change and the benefits will come.

War and peace but these are the things that drive me. Creating kosen Rufu in my corner of the world. A ripple 10 meters wide starts with a single stone upon the water. Small things can create big effects.

Plus I have fallen in love with Nichiren! I love his writings I find his compassion and strength inspiring.

Experience:

Although I've had numerous experiences this is one recent one.

At the start of the year I was made redundant. I chanted to be able to move from Sydney to a beautiful place in the Southern Highlands, 1 hour from Sydney. It's a stunning place of beautiful horse studs, cafes and art galleries. Close enough to still see friends from the city.

Everyone told me it would be hard to find a role similar in pay etc as Sydney and just a reasonable size business to work in would be difficult.

I applied for a role and after been given a 2nd interview and a long lengthy procedure I was unsuccessful they couldn't afford me.

I started doing temp work in Sydney.
However, 1 month into the temp role I was offered a permanent role in sydney, new car, good salary. I thought my southern highlands dream wouldn't come through.

8 months on I for some unknown reason decided to look on the Internet for roles again. The moment I logged into the job site there was a job. Sales manager for an international health food company. Amazing company that had just got distribution with Harrods & amp; Selfridges in the UK and distributors throughout Asia.

How could I interview? Without having to have sick days etc... They called immediately and asked me to come the next Tuesday. I walked into my managers office to ask for an annual leave day but before I could speak he said that the new telemarketers were working their first Saturday, would I come in Saturday and support them, if I did I could have a day off during the week instead. I suggested I do this for a few weeks and he was so pleased. This gave me time off during the week for 2 nd interviews etc.

I was offered the role and after some negotiation I took it. It wasn't the salary of Sydney but great growth potential.

I had 3 weeks to find somewhere to live. No rentals about being Christmas. I chanted one evening to find the right place and also quickly so I didn't need to spend my holidays house hunting.

After I chanted that evening I thought maybe I'll look for share accommodation ~ a good option till I get my own place. There was a great house share with the local yoga teacher. Beautiful large home, gardens, beautifully furnished with little Buddha statues. With the rent reduction I'm no less off financially. Instead of a 1 bedroom flat in Sydney I'm in a 5 bedroom home, two living areas and a kitchen the size of my last living room :)

The work place is great, young, funky, vibrant and I've fitted in quickly.

My housemate has offered her yoga studio to me for my own Buddhist meetings free of charge and is advertising the group in her studio.

Through this Buddhism I came off anxiety medication in 7 months. I didn't even realise I'd stopped taking them. I have had so many sychroncities which have made life flow easier and worked out for the best. My faith has waivered at times but the more proof the more I now know that through the tough times hang on. Something will change at the right time.

I had tried many different things in the past but nothing works quite like Nichiren Buddhism.

Bridgit / Sydney

Chanting in the Car?

I had a question from a reader about chanting in the car. 

Well, I've never seen any official memos about this but I'll give you my personal opinion based on 28 years of chanting. 

By all means chant in the car. Yes. It is perfectly fine. 

However

Don't make your main practice be chanting in the car. 

Whether you have a Gohonzon or not, your main practice should be in your home, at your altar. 

Think about it. Chanting in the car is fine, but you cannot give ALL of your attention to connecting with the universe that is you while driving. 

To really focus on your life you need a private, safe space at home to draw forth your highest potential and pray with all your heart. Chanting in the car won't hurt your practice, but it shouldn't be the foundation of your practice. You practice for yourself, and for others. Chanting in front of your Gohonzon gives you the clearest mirror.  

Every morning and evening chant at home to your hearts content. Then you will polish your life. 

Appreciation

Living a life of appreciation 

generates its own reward.

Chanting in appreciation is joy itself. 

Keeping in Rhythm

When you chant, you are accessing a life force that has always been within you. As a result, you will probably get some push-back in your life. You'll tell yourself "I will definitely go to that SGI meeting on Tuesday night" and a friend will call and ask you out for that night. We call this "push-back" Sansho Shima. That's the force that come up against us when we try to move our lives forward in a positive direction. We also call them obstacles. 

The important thing is to remember what you really want. Do you want to have and use a practice that can transform your life from the inside out, bringing you untold benefit and strength, or do you just want momentary happiness? Could your friend see you another night? 

Some people find work obstacles arise. They have to work late every night. SGI meetings in America start at 7pm on weeknights. If you find you need to work late a lot, and are missing meetings the answer is actually pretty simple, but also difficult. It's obvious that you need to chant to be able to attend your meeting. Chances are, if you're missing a lot of meetings because of working long hours the rest of your life is a bit out of control. You may be missing morning gongyo and not studying. Your life could have shifted out of rhythm. 

How do you get back in rhythm? 

The first thing you can do is call a strong Gakkai friend. If you can, you arrange to chant with them. Otherwise just accept their encouragement. This may be enough to give you some more fire in your Daimoku, and you can chant to strengthen your practice and deepen your prayer. 

Remember - chanting twice a day is a LOT easier than chanting from time to time. Chanting twice a day puts your life in a delightful rhythm. It cannot be explained, only experienced. Hava a great day. 

How to Chant for the first time - a Post for Newcomers or to Send to Friends

Here you will learn how to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo!

First of all make a list of what you really want in life. Take a fresh look at your desires and write them down.  Dream big. What do you really want? What do you want for yourself? What do you want for others? What do you want for the world? Make a list. There is no such thing as a “bad” desire as long as you wish no harm on others. 

Many Buddhists began chanting with desires that later turned into other desires. 

Don’t worry about it. Chant for what is really in your heart. Be true to yourself. 

I suggest having some sort of journal to write in. Writing in a journal helps you become aware of your progress and benefits.

Choose a place to chant comfortably. You’ll want to sit in a comfortable chair. Where would you feel most at ease chanting out loud? It is helpful to have something on the wall to focus on.  Rest your eyes on something slightly above eye level. It can be anything. When I first started chanting in my little two room apartment in San Francisco, I sat on the mattress on the floor and gazed up at the moon in a poster of Mono Lake. Choose something soothing to rest your eyes on. I have a table nearby for my tea, and other things I like to have close when I chant. You may want to put a little table up as an altar, but you don’t need that to begin. 

Write the words Nam Myoho Renge Kyo on a piece of paper. The words are pronounced as follows: 

Nahm, rhymes with Mom, 

meeyohoh, with three long vowels, 

rain gay, 

key oh. 

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. 

Nahm Meeyohoh Rain Gay Key Oh

Hold your hands with the palms facing in and touching each other in front of your heart. Sit with your back as straight as possible (but be comfortable - this practice is not about formalities) and say the words over and over and over again. 

You do not have to concentrate on anything at first. Just say the words. Breathe whenever you have to for as long as you like. See if you can chant for a few minutes, then a few minutes more. Chant for as long as you can!  

The rhythm should sound like a train moving, or horses running. There should be some energy to it. You can chant as fast or as slow as you wish. Speed of chanting is up to you. 

If you want to hear how it sounds you can go to the top left corner of this blog and chant with me. I begin slowly and speed up with more energy. 

See how it makes you feel. Can you chant for a little longer? Maybe even a little longer than that. Can you get to the point where you don’t have to think about the words, but can actually think about what you want? It may take a little time. Naturally you will begin to chant for what is in your heart. 

Many religions and forms of practice do not encourage people to have their OWN desires. Most of us grew up in cultures where religions never talked of our own Happiness...but this practice is different. Please mull this over. Your desires are YOU. Your desires are inspired from the depths of your life, they are as beautiful and wonderful as you are. 

When you are finished chanting you can write in your journal.

Start by writing an assessment of your life right now. What’s going well, what you’d like to improve on. Then write how you felt before chanting and after chanting. In your journal set a goal for how much you want to chant every day.  When I started, I could only chant five minutes a day in the morning and five minutes in the evening. I had a timer next to me and I’m sure there were times I stopped before I’d even reached five minutes! You will build up momentum! Commit to chant twice a day every day. Keep your goals in mind and you’ll remember your reasons for chanting! 

These words and this vibration go deep into the heart of your life itself. They summon forth your highest wisdom, vitality and sense of purpose. They also uproot the karma that is making you suffer, and give you the opportunity to change this karma forever. You will still have challenges and problems in life when you chant...but eventually you will see them as the opportunities they are. Problems are the FUEL you need to catapult your life into a life of happiness and joy. You have begun a journey to uncover the true happiness that exists in your shining Buddha life. Congratulations!
Also - make sure to search on Soka Gakkai followed by whatever country you live in. The correct form of this practice cannot be done alone. It must be done within the orbit of faith. Practicing alone will not lead you to the happiness you seek. Joining with fellow travelers is essential. Other Soka Gakkai members will be happy to help you learn to chant, overcome your problems, and reveal your brilliant, wonderful self!  
and go to IKEDAQUOTES.org to read Daisaku Ikeda's words. He is lighting the way for us all...and for YOU!