Thursday, February 25, 2010

Chanting so hard

I chanted for five hours yesterday because this is such a challenging time for me...and I gave the lecture on the Gosho called "Letters to the Brothers" It is all about how negative forces ruse up to obstruct our practice and discourage us when we are practicing CORRECTLY, and we can either be swayed by them or fired up by them.

Yesterday I chose to be fired up and chanted for five hours.

I chanted for the pain in my life to end. That's it. Done. No more physical pain in my more emotional pain wrenching at my heart. No more pain. Done finito. Now, I know there might still be some pain, because pain is part of life, but lately I've just been feeling I have more than my fair share! And I'm done with it.

In my chanting I dug so deep and I commanded my life to change.

And you know what? Today was a different day...a suffering that I have been suffering from for so long...was lifted, and hope is shining in my eyes, and I am a different person. A dear friend and I reunited and shared a magical afternoon.

And I can go on...and make it through the next couple months, where I have a job transition...and I'm divorcing my husband...and I am still missing my Mom so very, very much.

I can make it and persevere.

I know, because I have a gohonzon, and I chant to it, that I will come out of this dark time with absolute victory in my life. That is my vow. I vow every day to win in my have victory in my health, my finances, my job, my relationships, my family...every single area of my wonderful District of incredible SGI members...everything.

Yes, I am still struggling...but that's the POINT! I won't give up. Watch me! Come with me!

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