Monday, May 17, 2010

An Interesting Time

Well, I have to admit these are challenging times for me. I am doing daily battle with the evil twin inside my head...I am so sad about many things...and struggling to find hope and faith. Thank goodness I have friends in faith.
I talked with Melissa last week when I awoke so low I couldn't chant. I told her about my determination to defeat the sadness in my life and she reminded me that having a strong determination always creates a boomerang effect. I have the determination to defeat the sadness in my immediately I get to experience it so I can change it. Reminds me of the wonderful saying Donna had in her home in Benicia:

When Life knocks you to the ground ~
Roll over and look at the stars.

In my case when life knocks me down I phone a friend.

Now I have a new focus in chanting, although it is still being difficult right now. I won't lie. This practice is hard. But it is times like this - when it is hardest to chant that we are really changing our karma. The hardest thing is overcoming the doubt in my own head!

I am chanting to rid my life of sadness and bring appreciation into it.
I am chanting to live a life of joy and appreciation. strengthen my life! strengthen my faith! strengthen my determination! completely transform my life to JOY! feel President Ikeda's heart open my heart to feeling his daimoku for me find a job that helps me fulfill my mission for world peace, one moment at a time...and I have a long list of things I am looking for in a job.
I just need to keep chanting. This is the hard part. It will change.

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