Power Prayer to WIN over Sadness

I received this question this morning. 

And I know the answer through my own life experience. 

Dear Jamie  

Why do old negative feelings surface after I chant? I was emotionally abused in my marriage. I decided to divorce over two years ago. However I don't feel so sad about the divorce, I feel more sadness from the abuse.

The chanting brings these hurt feelings to the surface. I know that I need to keep on chanting. But how come it works this way?

Signed, 

Sincere Seeking Mind

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Dear Sincere Seeking Mind, 

Great question. 

When I started this blog in 2009 I was in the throes of deep sadness. I had experienced a heartache, it is true, but I knew there was a deeper cause, what we call "fundamental darkness". Chanting brought these feelings to the surface ~ so I could change them once and for all.  

When we chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo (the rhythm of life itself - literally "I fuse my life with the mystic law of cause and effect through sound vibration"), we reach a level of our lives that is very deep. And through the vibration of this chant, and our strong determination, we can change life-long tendencies, i.e. karma, forever. 

We can use our negative emotions as fuel to create a level of strength and happiness that NOTHING can shake. This "Absolute Happiness" is the goal of our practice of Practical Buddhism. 

Through chanting twice a day - every day, I was able to understand and conquer the sadness forever. I received this wise guidance in the early days of my practice: "Nothing can come out of you that wasn't already in your life. No anger, no sadness, nothing can come out that wasn't there. We may think it is in response to our environment, a man, a relationship, abuse etc. But in reality that emotion is WITHIN our lives and may have been within our lives for many lifetimes. Since we have chosen to be Bodhisattvas of the Earth this lifetime, and we chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo we can finally vanquish these feeling once and for all in this lifetime." 

I knew in my heart that the sadness I was experiencing, was  a deep sadness that I had felt on an off all of my life. Throughout my life I'd seen my mother experiencing it, too. 

I embraced it as my karmic mission to overcome it and turn it into a benefit. 

Daisaku Ikeda says:

"There is no suffering or hardship that a Boddhisatva of the Earth cannot surmount. So no matter what happens, I would like you to steadily advance, one step at a time, always chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo with vibrant voices." Faith in Action page 93.

He also says:

"Nichiren Daishonin writes, "If you light a lantern for another, it will also brighten your own way" (Gosho Zenshu, p. 1598). Please be confident that the higher your flame of altruistic action burns, the more its light will suffuse your life with happiness. Those who possess an altruistic spirit are the happiest people of all" (Faith in Action pages 93-94). 

And, of course, I remembered the immortal line I ingrained in my life from the Nichiren Daishonin's Gosho Letter from Sado. (I sincerely encourage all of us to study the Gosho with our lives. The Daishonin wrote this letter during his exile on Sado Island knowing that this exile was proof of the correctness of his teaching. If you don't have the Gosho, please go to the link to the SGI to the right and get it right away. Studying the Gosho is truly "A Ship to Cross the Sea of Suffering") 

"Only by defeating a powerful enemy can one prove his real strength." (Letter from Sado)

I saw my sadness as a "great enemy", one that had been shadowing me forever. And I made a sincere dertermination to change it once and for all, for myself and for seven generations in the past and seven generations in the future, and for everyone whose lives I could touch through my blog and my life. 

That emotion, that karma, was the FUEL for this blog that now is read by almost 20,000 people a month. I fueled my determination with a two-hour a day daimoku campaign. 

I determined that "I must overcome this suffering so that I can encourage others that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE and they can change ANYTHING if I can do this...because changing a deep seated karmic emotion IS impossible. And we chant to make the impossible possible. Anyone can change the possible things. But by embracing the Daishonin's Buddhism and practicing within the SGI we can make the impossible possible. 

Here is the determination and deep Power Prayer I embraced and chanted every day:

"Life! Gohonzon! I am determined to be happy. I am determined to root the cause of this suffering, this depression, this emotion out of my lilfe forever. I vow to be happy so that I can lead others to happiness. Through my own example I will inspire others that anything is possible."

Now, this feeling did not go away the first time I chanted this way, or the second or the third. No. This was a fierce battle that continued on for quite some time, but based on President Ikeda's guidance I was determined to win. "Buddhism is win or lose" he says over and over. This was a battle with my life. My dear friend and mentor, shom I called in tears over and over asking "Will I ever get over this sadness?" gave me her own prayer that had vanquished her life-long feeling of depression and resignation:

"I don't CARE how many times I have to chant to rid my life of this depression! I DON''T CARE how many hours I have to sit in front of this Gohonzon chanting. I will WIN over this fundamental darkness. I will win! You don't scare me! I will win!" 

And I embraced this prayer and made a fresh determination every day that I would win this battle, and win it I did. 

I AM FREE. I no longer feel this feeling. It is gone forever. I used all the tools available to me as a Boddhisattva of the Earth. I chanted, studied, spent my time encouraging others, and consulted my dear Myoho sister, friend in the SGI. And I won. You can too. It takes work and determination, but being "A Buddha of Absolute Freedom" is worth it! 

 To your VICTORY!

Jamie