Digging Deep to change my karma!

I am digging deeper than ever in my prayer. I am open to changing my SELF, my NATURE, my BELIEFS in any way to open the way to changing my life and becoming truly happy.
I got guidance from Matilda Buck a few weeks ago and she said that in order to become happy I absolutely must generate compassion for my husband and view him as a "fellow sufferer" and start chanting again for him.
Now, many times in the past 25 years I have done this, believe me. However I always stopped when I didn't see what I thought I should see in terms of results. I never stayed the course. She impressed on me that you can't change what you run from...and no matter what happens...whether I stay or whether I leave the marriage, I must change the resentment in my life or I will never be happy. I must change the tendency to blame my outside circumstances for my own unhappiness and change from the inside first. Now, I KNOW this...I've KNOWN it for a long time. But KNOWING IT and actualizing it are two different things. Actualizing it takes courage, strength and faith. I need to let go of knowing or wishing how it will all turn out.
As is happened, her guidance came at a crucial moment for my husband. He is going through some really intense stuff at work.
When I started chanting for him the resentment lifted immediately. I always thought...well if He's suffering, HE should CHANT! I stopped thinking that way. For whatever reason, he can't chant. So I can do it for him. I have no idea about the outcome but I feel so much better already, and I'm sure he doesn't mind the fact that I am being nicer and more attentive. Stay tuned.
Also ~ I am more determined than ever to solve this pain in my hip. I have been chanting to find the RIGHT doctor who will know what to do. I am DONE with this pain. It is time to face whatever will come...including surgery if that is the solution. I have been exercising diligently, and going to PT every week, and I am still in pain. Last week they said it is a "frozen hip". OK. So I chanted to find a wise doctor (my last one doesn't work out of the hospital I love) and today I have an appointment with him at 3:00.
So far today I have chanted 3 hours and Melissa is coming over and we will chant more. I want to chant 5 hours before I see him.
My prayer (my VOW)is to:
Release my tendency toward
Hopelessness
Fear
Impatience
Sadness
Hunger
Anxiety
Desperation
feelings of being unloved and unlovable
and
wanting to control everything.
I vow to replace these with the recognition of my own immense worth and knowledge of my own Buddhahood and power. I vow to strengthen my life and to fully recognize my magnificence and dispel doubt from my life forever.

Tall order?

Stay tuned!!!!

Exciting Times

Today, even though I wasn't feeling quite my best ~ I gave a speech for about 100 people at a job club in DuPage County. I gave my speech "Change Your Words Change Your Life" and I had the longest line of people wanting to talk to me afterward that I've ever had. I think they really got the idea and appreciated it.

I am considering a couple of job opportunities and enjoying the summer. I am chanting deeply for my husband's happiness...and for my boys. I can't expect to see huge changes right away...karma takes a while to change sometimes...but I am making the causes.

A New Gohonzon Conferral!

Man, I am just on a roll. I feel totally unstoppable. I have been chanting to appreciate every moment of my life and I really feel it everywhere.
My Buddhist meetings are really going through the roof.

Last week I decided to teach echo gongyo...and this week I did the same. It is truly the easiest way for people to learn how to recite the Lotus Sutra. Everyone loves it because it becomes so easy...like music.

I have been chanting for the people who are really ready to learn about this practice to come to me. Today I had a really strong feeling that the guest who was coming to our meeting was ready to start practicing and she was! She got her Gohonzon (scroll) tonight and tomorrow we will go enshrine it for her! Yaaay! I have another chance to help someone pull the power of the universe through their own life! I can't wait to watch her win over her challenges and become truly happy.

My life is such a joy.

Some great quotes!!

This weekend was really exciting. Linda Johnson was here visiting from Los Angeles. On Sunday morning we headed down to the Chicago Culture Center to hear her speak.
Here are a few things I gleaned from the lecture:

You can't change something you run from. If you want to change it you must challenge it head on...chant about it with resolve. Decide how you want it to turn out and DON'T GIVE UP!

There is NO problem bigger than chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! You can triumph over ANYTHING if you are determined.

Chant with an inner flame to be victorious!

Remember that setbacks are only temporary!

Everything we go through is designed to take our lives to the next level.

We can definitely WIN!

Great gongyo training!

Tonight's meeting was so energetic! Our District members are really breaking though. We had a great turn out for gongyo training.
Gongyo is the recitation of part of the lotus sutra. Buddhist do this every morning and evening.

It can be quite difficult to learn. It is a Japanese Transliteration of Sanskrit. As we speak the words we are speaking the words of the Buddha - because we are Buddhas! When we do it correctly we are in rhythm with every other Buddhist on the planet! Wonderful!

In gongyo training we used echo gongyo - I recited a line, the group echoed it, then at the end of each section we recited the whole section with the best unison we've ever had! It was so great! The energy was incredible.

This is 2010 - the year for each person to have a major victory in their life! We are all experiencing struggle, and victory!

Spiritual Workout

I remain upbeat and happy about my prospects...here is a great quote for you!

Exerting ourselves in the practice of gongyo each day amounts to what we may call a spiritual workout. It purifies and cleanses our lives, gets our motors running and puts us on the right course for the day. It gets our bodies and our minds working smoothly and puts us in rhythm, in sync, with the universe.

Daisaku Ikeda
YES!

Things are Hopping!

Today was great! I chanted for two hours at the center with about 12 other people in preparation for my initial interview today.

I chanted with a vow to have my next job be one where I can fulfill my mission for world peace...and I chanted to connect with the VP in my meeting.

It went very well.

And I also chanted about the Buddhist meeting tonight at my house - which was wonderful!

We have many new members and we are teaching them how to chant and how to practice.

I have another meeting with a different company tomorrow. I'll let you know how it all turns out!