Inspiring and Happy Divorce Experience

I begin this day as a single woman for the first time since December 20th, 1987. Yesterday Paul and I finalized our divorce...and the whole process was Daimoku powered in every way. 

 

All I can feel is gratitude for my life..gratitude to my now ex-husband Paul for being such a great human being...gratitude for the two of us coming to terms with this process, and the division of property...and gratitude to myself for making the rock-solid determination that this divorce would be an inspiring one to all who were a part of it, and all who witnessed it, our family, children, and friends. 

That was my constant prayer...that neither of us would sink into the tornado of "painful divorce" and intend to hurt each other in the process. I'm a Buddha! The Buddha does not have to follow society's norms! I embrace the mystic law! Right after I made this determination a friend of 20 years started practicing Buddhism after seeing Paul and I traveling together amicably - even though separated. 

We didn't go the usual route. I found out about collaborative divorce - and found a collaborative attorney. Paul researched on-line options and began using an on-line tool to create a proposal according to our state's laws for the division of property. 

Once he had the proposal, I presented it to my attorney, and we went back and forth for a very short time until we'd created an equitable agreement. Yesterday we stood in front of a judge who dissolved our marriage. It took about 5 minutes. Then we hung out in the courthouse for two hours while we waited for the paperwork. We laughed. We talked. Our total legal fees were nominal compared to what most people go through. And, once we got rolling - when we were truly ready, it took less than a month. 

But the most important part is that we remained friends through everything, and we will be friends forever, and I know my daimoku fueled that. My constant prayer to change myself...to see myself...and to make a win-win situation was key. 

Today I begin a new chapter of my life...with solid footing and great expectation, happiness and gratitude. 

Chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo every day and focusing on changing ourselves first is the key to creating absolute happiness from within our lives. 

Being a Buddhist means BLAMING NO ONE and creating our own happiness! We keep looking into the mirror of our inner lives...with courage...with constant guidance from our SGI mentors...and with everlasting enthusiasm and courage. 

7 Steps to Changing Your Karma

Welcome to Chantforhappiness.com. Check out some of the previous posts while you're here!

I've heard from many of you lately who are very sad and suffering, disappointed and losing hope. You are not alone. And you can rise above this and change your karma - right here and right now. 
Many of us practitioners of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism have changed various aspects of our karma. It starts with each one of us...how courageous can we be to change ourselves? 

As Daisaku Ikeda writes:
The course of our lives is determined by how we react  - what we decide and what we do - at the darkest of times. The nature of that response determines a person's true worth and greatness. 

I was in an extreme place of sadness when I started this blog, and there is one important thing I realized that I really want you to understand too. 
It is true, that my suffering was triggered by an event in my life. This can't be denied. But somewhere in the depths of my life I knew that the tears I was shedding were WITHIN my life, and had always been within my life. These were not new feelings of despair. Yes, they were intensified by my recent event, but I realized that I had carried these feelings INTO this life, and that my Mom, my sweet Mommy, had also experienced a lot of these feelings. 

I realized that this sadness was my karma. But in Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism that doesn't mean what it means in other forms of Buddhism. 
Karma in some sects means something you have to ENDURE, in others, it's something you have to LEARN FROM. and In Nichiren Buddhism, also known as SGI Buddhism, also known as Practical Buddhism ~  where we chant the name of the Mystic Law - Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Karma is something that we can change, in fact, it is our MISSION to change our karma. 

7 Steps to Changing Our Karma

by Jamie Lee Silver of Chantforhappiness.com. 
Please do not cut and paste. Please do share the post using the links at the bottom.  

1. Recognize karma for what it is. 
Whatever we are suffering about...we have to own it. To "own it" means to embrace it as our own and realize that yes, this is my karma, and therefore mine to change. There is no one to blame, not even ourselves. If it is causing us suffering, it is ours. Years ago I had a boss that caused me great suffering. I took it on and embraced it. I followed the steps outlined below and permanently changed that karma by changing something in myself. Read on...

2. Make a fierce determination to change your karma, and take the actions to change it. 
Chant to root the cause of your suffering FOREVER OUT OF YOUR LIFE. 
CHANT TO EXPERIENCE LIFE AS THE BUDDHA YOU ARE! CHANT TO USE YOUR VICTORY TO INSPIRE OTHERS! 
Many of you have written that you just can't chant, you can't go to meetings, you're too depressed and too busy. Somehow, you just have to overcome this through sheer determination. That's why we have our wonderful organization, the Soka Gakkai. It is entirely up to you! Your friends in faith are waiting to hear from you, chant with you, win with you. Connect to the SGI (use the link sgi-usa.org). And call your SGI friends. I have always chanted to make strong friends in faith who inspire me. You can do this too, and go to them for guidance. (Sometimes, when I am facing an obstacle, I ask for guidance on the most effective way to chant to achieve victory)

3. Take action. 
In my case, five years ago, I formed a connection with a strong and inspiring member and we determined to chant two hours a day "together" to change our karma. Sometimes we chanted in the same room, sometimes by phone or text. We didn't always chant at the exact same time, but somehow, knowing we had the shared commitment was very important. Also, take concrete action. You may want to write your goals on paper. Chant for wisdom, and take the actions that arise from your prayers. 

4. Be consistent. Practice correctly. 
I know, I know, I say this all the time because it is really important. Go to meetings, study the writings of Nichiren Daishonin and Daisaku Ikeda, and introduce others to the practice to the best of your ability. No seed planted is ever wasted. If they don't start practicing today they may down the line. The seed is within their life. 

5. Realize that obstacles will arise. 
Don't let them stop you. 
Chant through your tears. Chant through your tears. A leader once told me that Every tear cried in front of the Gohonzon is a diamond in your life. Keep Chanting through your tears. Don't stop! Embrace it. Get out the tissues and get that karma out of your life, not just for you, but for the generations ahead of you! 

6. Don't give up. 
Whatever you do, don't give up. 
Do whatever you have to do to keep going. Karma changing doesn't usually happen overnight. Call on your friends. Start a journal. Realize that what you are doing is REALLY important.

7. WIN and share your Victory with others! 
Document your experience. Write down the challenges you faced and how you overcame them through chanting. Write down the quotes and guidance that inspired you. 

We would all love to hear your victories. You can share them on Chantforhappiness.com. Just send a picture, a little about yourself - where you live, how long you've been practicing, and your experience to chantforhappiness@gmail.com. 

Mastering our Mind Brings Results

Loving ourselves into perfect happiness...the key to life I think. 

I have two benefits...breakthroughs I created...

I have been chanting steadily to Master my Mind and I am about to do two things I have been putting off for a long time...One of them is a major life-changing incident, that will officially make me a single woman...and the other is a medical test that I just have never wanted to do, but somehow now have the courage. Many people have done this before with no incident. I have just been to scared to do it. 

For both of these I had to master my mind, and in my case, overcome the fear of facing regret.  Now that the medical procedure is going to happen this morning it feels almost like a piece of cake. I am just going to sail on through. 

And as far as the divorce goes, please don't let it discourage you that this is the choice I have taken in my life. It does not mean that you cannot work it out with your spouse or get the man that you want. I will attain happiness in love. I am sure of this. 
My circumstances are unique to me. I was fortunate to marry a very good man and good father to our children. We have chosen to go our own ways for some time and finally have agreed, and consulted with professionals and are carrying out our desires amicably, and as friends.   

From the very beginning when I knew we were going to divorce I chanted to have the kind of divorce that people would never believe...friendly, amicable and inspiring...where all of our lives would improve. One of my friends joined the SGI watching me in this process...watching us. 

The main point is, I was finally able to come to a solid decision and take appropriate action. Step by step, overcoming my fears. 
Now, as all of you know, some things are easier for us, some are harder. We all have our difficulties and our gifts. What we, as Buddhists do, is continually challenge our weaknesses, having the courage to look our inner selves in the mirror and forging on, no matter whether we like the reflection or not. This week, at the District meeting,  I presented on the mirror guidance...all IS a reflection of our lives. All real change occurs when we can really look at ourselves. 

My apologies to the many who have written this week. I'll have some time to reply this weekend. When you write me, please remember that the first thing I will probably do is suggest you connect with your local leaders. But I know some of you have unique circumstances...

I'd like to write more but I have to chant before the Doctor's office. 

From Suffering to Dynamic Progress

Last night we had a district meeting and I brought a wonderful guest who has already experienced benefit from chanting. There were two other new members who just received their Gohonzons at the meeting, too. And it dawned on me that my primary chanting partner over the last year, my friend Deborah, and I, had brought the guests. 
What a wonderful practice this is...where we can walk through the fires of suffering, and emerge with fresh determination, action and results that inspire others to become happy. Poison into medicine indeed! 

4 keys to Finding and Clearing our Own Obstacles to Happiness!

Happy Nichiren Daishonin's Birthday! 

It is another beautiful day to renew our powerful vow for kosen-rufu and for our own happiness. 

In For Today and Tomorrow, on February 16th, 
Daisaku Ikeda states:

"I hope you will always live in unity 
with Nichiren Daishonin, 
pursuing faith as disciples who are 
"of the same mind as Nichiren."
Unfazed by the petty jealousies of others, 
please move forward boldly with joy and laughter." 

Well, I like that idea...of the same mind as Nichiren (determined, resolute, certain!) moving forward boldly with joy and laughter. I know I strive to do that every day. 

As I chant this morning I continue to focus on mastering my mind...and on changing the things in myself that I don't like in others. 

Have you ever had a friend or a family member that you just want to say "why can't you SEE this about yourself? It is so clear to others!" 

We all have blind spots don't we? I've been chanting to see my blind spots...the tendencies I have that hold me back...the patterns I live out that no longer serve me or make me happy. What are three keys to dong this? 

Three Keys to Finding and 
Clearing our own Obstacles to Happiness 

1. Identify character traits you dislike in others. (Such as, quick to anger and yell, continual martyrdom, etc)

2. Even if you don't believe you share those traits chant with an open mind to change them in yourself. 

3. Notice what happens. Notice your own reactions. See if suddenly you can SEE yourself with those traits. 

4. Chant to change these traits in yourself and replace them with traits you would rather have. 


Ever since the guidance I got last week, I am chanting to change the things in myself that I see and dislike in others. (Even if I don't believe I share those traits) And I'll tell you, I have revealed some personal tendencies that I'm not happy about! That's why the Gohonzon is a mirror for our inner life, and why we have to be so courageous. 

I may not LIKE what I'm seeing, but if I never saw it, I could never change it. AND the obstacles to chanting about this are so strong! I just have to laugh. But this is what Human Revolution IS, isn't it? The willingness to SEE what we need to change and the courage to change it. What if I changed these tendencies? I can't say for sure, but I am willing to try...willing to chant...willing to look in that mirror.  

Chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo takes courage, and the results are worth it. As I dig deep into challenging my life, and doing tons of shakubuku, I wish you all the best. 

Be courageous! 

As Louise Hay says: "How can you clean house if you don't see the dirt!" 

PowerPrayer to Rise Above Our Sadness

I read some guidance that said 

"When you chant you should 

take a vacation from your troubles." 

Great idea

And today while I was chanting that's exactly what I did. I chanted to lift my life condition so I could see over and above my troubles...and to experience this day in a state of elevation through Daimoku. 

I chanted to release all feelings of having to be in control at every single moment, because, as we all know, control at every moment is impossible anyway! 

Sometimes we think "I'm a Buddha so I should be able to command every single moment of every single day. I'm a Buddha, right?" But I don't think that's exactly how it works, 

The only things we can really be in control of are our reactions to what's going on. That's not to say that we can't change our lives through chanting. WE CAN. But the process of doing so doesn't always go as quickly as we'd want it to. We are not like Samantha on the TV show Bewitched. We can't just wiggle our noses and make everything change. 

PowerPrayer 

for Rising Above Our Troubles 

and Having Joy - No Matter What!

by Jamie Lee Silver of Chantforhappiness.com

Life! 

Gohonzon! 

Today while chanting 

I am seeing my life and my spirits 

rising above my worries. 

As I am chanting I am seeing my life rise above. 

I am focusing on joining the ceremony in the air. 

I am joining with all the Buddhas on the Gohonzon, 

and knowing that 

YES! 

This is the life I chose for Kosen-rufu, 

and I will keep my life condition HIGH no matter what. 

I see through the eyes of the Buddha. 

I shine for all those around me as a beacon of hope. 

I am the Buddha at every moment today...

fully aware and focusing on all that is right in my world! 

I am going to float above my worries and chant in the world of gratitude and appreciation. 

I am so grateful for:__________________________

And I release this day to my prayers! 

Mindblowing PowerPrayer to Master Your Mind in the Past and the Present

WOW, chanting to Master my Mind is having a profound affect on my life. 

I feel like I'm starting my practice anew...as I chant my mind is being flooded with ideas, inspiration and PowerPrayers...as I pray even more deeply. 

When I start chanting I don't even look at the clock until at least 15 minutes has passed, but it feels like about three minutes. I see and feel the effects of the prayer every day. All day I am in the right place at the right time. I am calm. I am thinking before I speak (gasp) most of the time. And I am unafraid...even as I walk into new territory.

Here is my latest

PowerPrayer for Mastering Your Mind
by Jamie Lee Silver of Chantforhappiness.com

As I am chanting I am mastering my mind! 

As I master my mind I show even more proof of the power of the law and do shakubuku! 


As I am chanting, 
I am going back through 30 years of Daimoku
(you fill in number of years of your practice here____) 
and infusing every single Nam-myoho-renge-kyo 
with the prayer to master my mind. 

With every Daimoku 
I feel my prayer and my muscle of faith strengthening! 

As I master my mind
I see the power of the this prayer
reflected in my environment

I infuse my life with wisdom, courage, and certainty.

I am level headed. 
I think before I speak. 
I am able to check my emotions whenever I desire. 
I gain the strength of memory!

I express myself efficiently, accurately and expediently. 

As I am mastering my mind I feel the currents of my immeasurable power flowing through me like never before!