Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Inspiring and Happy Divorce Experience

I begin this day as a single woman for the first time since December 20th, 1987. Yesterday Paul and I finalized our divorce...and the whole process was Daimoku powered in every way. 
All I can feel is gratitude for my life..gratitude to my now ex-husband Paul for being such a great human being...gratitude for the two of us coming to terms with this process, and the division of property...and gratitude to myself for making the rock-solid determination that this divorce would be an inspiring one to all who were a part of it, and all who witnessed it, our family, children, and friends. 

That was my constant prayer...that neither of us would sink into the tornado of "painful divorce" and intend to hurt each other in the process. I'm a Buddha! The Buddha does not have to follow society's norms! I embrace the mystic law! Right after I made this determination a friend of 20 years started practicing Buddhism after seeing Paul and I traveling together amicably - even though separated. 

We didn't go the usual route. I found out about collaborative divorce - and found a collaborative attorney. Paul researched on-line options and began using an on-line tool to create a proposal according to our state's laws for the division of property. 

Once he had the proposal, I presented it to my attorney, and we went back and forth for a very short time until we'd created an equitable agreement. Yesterday we stood in front of a judge who dissolved our marriage. It took about 5 minutes. Then we hung out in the courthouse for two hours while we waited for the paperwork. We laughed. We talked. Our total legal fees were nominal compared to what most people go through. And, once we got rolling - when we were truly ready, it took less than a month. 

But the most important part is that we remained friends through everything, and we will be friends forever, and I know my daimoku fueled that. My constant prayer to change myself...to see myself...and to make a win-win situation was key. 

Today I begin a new chapter of my life...with solid footing and great expectation, happiness and gratitude. 

Chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo every day and focusing on changing ourselves first is the key to creating absolute happiness from within our lives. 

Being a Buddhist means BLAMING NO ONE and creating our own happiness! We keep looking into the mirror of our inner lives...with courage...with constant guidance from our SGI mentors...and with everlasting enthusiasm and courage. 


  1. Hello Jamie,

    That was so beautifully written. I have been admiring your blog. You are an amazing person and I am so grateful I fell upon your blog. It is truly so encouraging.

    I am a fortune baby here in Los Angeles. My parents have been practicing Nichiren Buddhism with the SGI for now 51 years. I have seen so many benefits.

    I just wanted to thank you for such a beautiful blog and taking the time to encourage us all.

    Thank you

    Kelly D.

  2. Wow! That is the key!! Blaming and finger-pointing only rob us of our power. Taking responsibility for our happiness and chanting bring us into our power and allow us to see and receive wonderful benefits! Thanks for this post!