How do Buddhas handle a crisis?
What about a real crisis? Or an almost crisis? How do practicing Buddhists have an advantage? How can we use our practice to really benefit our lives, and the lives we touch at our most vulnerable times? How can I use the most challenging times in my life to continue to inspire you, whom I think about all the time?
I am asking these questions because I'm here in a hotel room on the way to see my son Ben who has been struggling for two years with a very serious illness...one that the doctors don't really know how to cure...schizophrenia. For many it is fatal. The fear overcomes people and they can't take it anymore. Ben had a day like that yesterday. And he is alive and in a new hospital, where once again the doctors will have a chance to find the medicine combination that can help him.
I have a few moments to write, then we will go the hospital.
My daimoku today (chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo) is one of appreciation. Ben (he's 22) is alive. I chant in appreciation fo his life. I chant in appreciation that I have a son who makes me chant so much. I chant to touch the lives of all the professionals I meet today. I have my Nam-myoho-renge-kyo cards ready. But the most important thing is how I conduct myself. Who I AM when interacting with Ben and the professionals. I chant for wisdom and composure. And I chant to do my own human revolution...to root out the cause of this karma in my own life so that my son will not suffer anymore. I chant to turn poison into medicine! He was born to me for a reason. I am a Buddha. He is a Buddha.
As I was chanting I was thinking about the nature of karma. I know there is a stream of new age thinking that says we need to "learn from our karma." I'm not sure I agree with that. I'm not as interested in learning from my karma as I am in changing it! Now.
Last night, as I was preparing to get on the road to see Ben, I got a text that a shakubuku of mine was receiving Gohonzon. Last night!
In December, I met this person briefly as part of my job...and I could feel a longing, a searching in her life. I told her about chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and she was immediately grateful. She lives close to the Chicago Culture Center and I met her there to chant and introduced her to the leaders close by. We met again for New Year's Gongyo...and last night, on the day Ben again gave up all hope, she received Gohonzon. So mystic! We never know when the seeds we planted are going to sprout!
And driving here, with the moon in the window, the beautiful almost full moon, I felt Nichiren Daishonin coming with me on this journey to the hospital to see my son...
And I feel you all...achieving your dreams...writing to me about your accomplishments and expressing your appreciation, asking your questions, and I feel your hearts. Chantforhappiness's readership last month was almost 50k people...we are united in heart. Thank you all so much.
Ben will win. I will win. YOU will win. We will all win together.
Nam-myoho-renge-kyo!
Jamie, I sincerely hope that Ben will be cured completely. I am chanting for him and you in this very moment. For it seems strange that your posts have supported me so much and yet you are facing such difficult moments. Not even a saint or a sage, it is true.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very touching and encouraging story. Thank you for sharing. It is hard to remember these things during a crisis or life altering moment. It is only afterwards that we remember, Oh yeah! . I enjoy reading your blog and look forward to your next posting. I will add Ben Silver to my list of people I pray for.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you all the way. Am headed for the Center in Torrance CA to chant for you and Ben.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jamie ,
ReplyDeleteYou made my problems feel so small that I will dedicate my next week off chanting to your son and to you.
Love Fleur xx
Simply awe-struck at your courage and compassion!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this! I am encouraged by this and need lots of support and daimoku for a person in my life to be able to move through some painful karma and for me to be able to be a support for this.person and for me to move through my stuff around it. Again I am feeling encouraged as you are able to summon up the winning attitude and not accept defeat. Nam Myo-ho-renge-kyo!
ReplyDeleteWe certainly will.
ReplyDeleteWe certainly will.
ReplyDelete