Linda Johnson's Home Visit!

Linda Johnson, me and Melissa Bradford

Last night Linda Johnson came to give me encouragement regarding the recent death of my 22-year-old son Ben. 

My heart is filled with gratitude. Melissa Bradford came to help me remember and absorb the guidance. What fortune I have in my life. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo!

Linda said that even though it's hard to hear, everyone eventually dies. No amount of chanting changes that. After I told her about the last two year of his illness, she said it's clear that I extended his life. This is what Nichiren teaches. In spite of his struggle, through my love, I extended his life. 

AND, There's no way he would have died unless he fulfilled his mission. I must chant to see what I must learn, and how to make his life and death meaningful. Only through my Daimoku will I understand. 

She said my prayers at this moment (all our prayers) definitely affect his state of life, and how he will be reborn. She said even though schizophrenia took over his life, it is momentary from the perspective of eternal life. 

She said to hold on to our beautiful memories. And I insure his victory by winning in my own life. He will always be a part of my life. How can I show value, what can we manifest together? 

She said to have a dialogue with his life and to thank him for every single wonderful moment we shared. Fill my heart with appreciation that I had him as long as I did in my life. And from now on I live my life in tribute. 

She said doing this will help repair the hole in my heart. What wonderful guidance. 

She said Ben is a Buddha in life and a Buddha in death. He is continuing to do shakubuku. He is continuing to encourage people. As Buddhists we can see the positive workings of death. We cannot fathom everything with our intellect, but we can have confidence in our prayer. Everything can be used to create value. 

I told her sometimes I feel like running away from the pain and she said this is a natural feeling. How could I NOT feel this way? But the more we run, the stronger the pain gets. Boy, isn't THAT true? 

And lastly, when I asked her how to pray to bring my kosen-rufu life partner into my life she said to chant to connect with his life and pull him into mine. 

Okay! Will do!