How could I NOT be experiencing such great obstacles? The obstacles themselves are the way that I will achieve all my dreams.
That's how it works according to the laws of life.
I made a great determination almost a year ago when I began this blog...I decided to chant two hours a day and accomplish all the karma changes that I had not yet achieved during my 25 years of practice.
A determination like that HAS to draw the challenges out of my life so I can prove the power of the law...and eradicate (root out!) the karmic tendencies that have me stuck in the areas I wish to get un-stuck!
So every time I feel sorry for myself I can change those thoughts (from ones of "why me" to ones of appreciation)...and know that my victory is assured, and KNOW that in THAT MOMENT I am changing my karma forever! I am making every possible cause for my happiness and the happiness of others...the district (Buddhist group) that meets at my house is flourishing...I am still chanting 2 hours a day...I am introducing people to this practice...my sons are chanting...and I am even chanting for the happiness and fulfillment of those it is hardest for me to summon compassion for...
With all these great causes...my life has to reach up and say NO WAY and say PROVE IT!
I remember one of my wise Japanese mentors said "when I get the biggest obstacles I am the MOST appreciative because I know the BIGGEST benefit and breakthrough is on its way to me!"
OK! Here I am back to the appreciative state of mind.
I WILL find a great job! I WILL be healthy! I WILL have love overflowing! I WILL be a speaker for Kosen Rufu! I WILL make a huge contribution to the happiness of others! I WILL live an inspiring life!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Running on Daimoku
Chanting away...
Feeling so sad and scared and human
and summoning the power of my faith
demanding it...drawing it forth
Missing my Mom so much...
...knowing that winter always turns to spring...it just has to.
... talking to my seniors in faith to get encouragement (That's a great word isn't it "to give courage")
...knowing that somehow I will turn "poison into medicine" even if it doesn't feel like that right now!
Feeling so sad and scared and human
and summoning the power of my faith
demanding it...drawing it forth
Missing my Mom so much...
...knowing that winter always turns to spring...it just has to.
... talking to my seniors in faith to get encouragement (That's a great word isn't it "to give courage")
...knowing that somehow I will turn "poison into medicine" even if it doesn't feel like that right now!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Bad News like this
...makes me sooooo appreciative that I practice this Buddhism.
As I mentioned in my last post I chanted 4 hours today before my appointment with the doctor about my hip. I really had a feeling it was not going to be good news. I have been in pain now for more than five years and acupuncture, chiropractic, physical therapy, strengthening exercises...have not managed to cure the pain.
Basically today I was told that I have stage 4 arthritis (bone on bone) and will require a total hip replacement if I want to be out of pain. Yikes. If you knew me, you'd know I am little miss anti-doctor and anti-surgery but yikes...how long can a person limp and wince? Do I want to go through surgery? Nooooooo.... Do I want to be pain free? YES!
So I am getting a second opinion and doing my research. I will keep you posted. I feel strong...right now!
Ben (my 17 year old) and I are going to Toy Story 3 in 3D tonight and I'm going to continue chanting at least two hours a day.
What an interesting journey...
Who would think that an accident from 20 years ago could have this effect....but the doctors seem to think it's the cause.
As I mentioned in my last post I chanted 4 hours today before my appointment with the doctor about my hip. I really had a feeling it was not going to be good news. I have been in pain now for more than five years and acupuncture, chiropractic, physical therapy, strengthening exercises...have not managed to cure the pain.
Basically today I was told that I have stage 4 arthritis (bone on bone) and will require a total hip replacement if I want to be out of pain. Yikes. If you knew me, you'd know I am little miss anti-doctor and anti-surgery but yikes...how long can a person limp and wince? Do I want to go through surgery? Nooooooo.... Do I want to be pain free? YES!
So I am getting a second opinion and doing my research. I will keep you posted. I feel strong...right now!
Ben (my 17 year old) and I are going to Toy Story 3 in 3D tonight and I'm going to continue chanting at least two hours a day.
What an interesting journey...
Who would think that an accident from 20 years ago could have this effect....but the doctors seem to think it's the cause.
Digging Deep to change my karma!
I am digging deeper than ever in my prayer. I am open to changing my SELF, my NATURE, my BELIEFS in any way to open the way to changing my life and becoming truly happy.
I got guidance from Matilda Buck a few weeks ago and she said that in order to become happy I absolutely must generate compassion for my husband and view him as a "fellow sufferer" and start chanting again for him.
Now, many times in the past 25 years I have done this, believe me. However I always stopped when I didn't see what I thought I should see in terms of results. I never stayed the course. She impressed on me that you can't change what you run from...and no matter what happens...whether I stay or whether I leave the marriage, I must change the resentment in my life or I will never be happy. I must change the tendency to blame my outside circumstances for my own unhappiness and change from the inside first. Now, I KNOW this...I've KNOWN it for a long time. But KNOWING IT and actualizing it are two different things. Actualizing it takes courage, strength and faith. I need to let go of knowing or wishing how it will all turn out.
As is happened, her guidance came at a crucial moment for my husband. He is going through some really intense stuff at work.
When I started chanting for him the resentment lifted immediately. I always thought...well if He's suffering, HE should CHANT! I stopped thinking that way. For whatever reason, he can't chant. So I can do it for him. I have no idea about the outcome but I feel so much better already, and I'm sure he doesn't mind the fact that I am being nicer and more attentive. Stay tuned.
Also ~ I am more determined than ever to solve this pain in my hip. I have been chanting to find the RIGHT doctor who will know what to do. I am DONE with this pain. It is time to face whatever will come...including surgery if that is the solution. I have been exercising diligently, and going to PT every week, and I am still in pain. Last week they said it is a "frozen hip". OK. So I chanted to find a wise doctor (my last one doesn't work out of the hospital I love) and today I have an appointment with him at 3:00.
So far today I have chanted 3 hours and Melissa is coming over and we will chant more. I want to chant 5 hours before I see him.
My prayer (my VOW)is to:
Release my tendency toward
Hopelessness
Fear
Impatience
Sadness
Hunger
Anxiety
Desperation
feelings of being unloved and unlovable
and
wanting to control everything.
I vow to replace these with the recognition of my own immense worth and knowledge of my own Buddhahood and power. I vow to strengthen my life and to fully recognize my magnificence and dispel doubt from my life forever.
Tall order?
Stay tuned!!!!
I got guidance from Matilda Buck a few weeks ago and she said that in order to become happy I absolutely must generate compassion for my husband and view him as a "fellow sufferer" and start chanting again for him.
Now, many times in the past 25 years I have done this, believe me. However I always stopped when I didn't see what I thought I should see in terms of results. I never stayed the course. She impressed on me that you can't change what you run from...and no matter what happens...whether I stay or whether I leave the marriage, I must change the resentment in my life or I will never be happy. I must change the tendency to blame my outside circumstances for my own unhappiness and change from the inside first. Now, I KNOW this...I've KNOWN it for a long time. But KNOWING IT and actualizing it are two different things. Actualizing it takes courage, strength and faith. I need to let go of knowing or wishing how it will all turn out.
As is happened, her guidance came at a crucial moment for my husband. He is going through some really intense stuff at work.
When I started chanting for him the resentment lifted immediately. I always thought...well if He's suffering, HE should CHANT! I stopped thinking that way. For whatever reason, he can't chant. So I can do it for him. I have no idea about the outcome but I feel so much better already, and I'm sure he doesn't mind the fact that I am being nicer and more attentive. Stay tuned.
Also ~ I am more determined than ever to solve this pain in my hip. I have been chanting to find the RIGHT doctor who will know what to do. I am DONE with this pain. It is time to face whatever will come...including surgery if that is the solution. I have been exercising diligently, and going to PT every week, and I am still in pain. Last week they said it is a "frozen hip". OK. So I chanted to find a wise doctor (my last one doesn't work out of the hospital I love) and today I have an appointment with him at 3:00.
So far today I have chanted 3 hours and Melissa is coming over and we will chant more. I want to chant 5 hours before I see him.
My prayer (my VOW)is to:
Release my tendency toward
Hopelessness
Fear
Impatience
Sadness
Hunger
Anxiety
Desperation
feelings of being unloved and unlovable
and
wanting to control everything.
I vow to replace these with the recognition of my own immense worth and knowledge of my own Buddhahood and power. I vow to strengthen my life and to fully recognize my magnificence and dispel doubt from my life forever.
Tall order?
Stay tuned!!!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Exciting Times
Today, even though I wasn't feeling quite my best ~ I gave a speech for about 100 people at a job club in DuPage County. I gave my speech "Change Your Words Change Your Life" and I had the longest line of people wanting to talk to me afterward that I've ever had. I think they really got the idea and appreciated it.
I am considering a couple of job opportunities and enjoying the summer. I am chanting deeply for my husband's happiness...and for my boys. I can't expect to see huge changes right away...karma takes a while to change sometimes...but I am making the causes.
I am considering a couple of job opportunities and enjoying the summer. I am chanting deeply for my husband's happiness...and for my boys. I can't expect to see huge changes right away...karma takes a while to change sometimes...but I am making the causes.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
A New Gohonzon Conferral!
Man, I am just on a roll. I feel totally unstoppable. I have been chanting to appreciate every moment of my life and I really feel it everywhere.
My Buddhist meetings are really going through the roof.
Last week I decided to teach echo gongyo...and this week I did the same. It is truly the easiest way for people to learn how to recite the Lotus Sutra. Everyone loves it because it becomes so easy...like music.
I have been chanting for the people who are really ready to learn about this practice to come to me. Today I had a really strong feeling that the guest who was coming to our meeting was ready to start practicing and she was! She got her Gohonzon (scroll) tonight and tomorrow we will go enshrine it for her! Yaaay! I have another chance to help someone pull the power of the universe through their own life! I can't wait to watch her win over her challenges and become truly happy.
My life is such a joy.
My Buddhist meetings are really going through the roof.
Last week I decided to teach echo gongyo...and this week I did the same. It is truly the easiest way for people to learn how to recite the Lotus Sutra. Everyone loves it because it becomes so easy...like music.
I have been chanting for the people who are really ready to learn about this practice to come to me. Today I had a really strong feeling that the guest who was coming to our meeting was ready to start practicing and she was! She got her Gohonzon (scroll) tonight and tomorrow we will go enshrine it for her! Yaaay! I have another chance to help someone pull the power of the universe through their own life! I can't wait to watch her win over her challenges and become truly happy.
My life is such a joy.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Some great quotes!!
This weekend was really exciting. Linda Johnson was here visiting from Los Angeles. On Sunday morning we headed down to the Chicago Culture Center to hear her speak.
Here are a few things I gleaned from the lecture:
You can't change something you run from. If you want to change it you must challenge it head on...chant about it with resolve. Decide how you want it to turn out and DON'T GIVE UP!
There is NO problem bigger than chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! You can triumph over ANYTHING if you are determined.
Chant with an inner flame to be victorious!
Remember that setbacks are only temporary!
Everything we go through is designed to take our lives to the next level.
We can definitely WIN!
Here are a few things I gleaned from the lecture:
You can't change something you run from. If you want to change it you must challenge it head on...chant about it with resolve. Decide how you want it to turn out and DON'T GIVE UP!
There is NO problem bigger than chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo! You can triumph over ANYTHING if you are determined.
Chant with an inner flame to be victorious!
Remember that setbacks are only temporary!
Everything we go through is designed to take our lives to the next level.
We can definitely WIN!
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