Monday, September 3, 2012

How to get rid of despair - 16 tips and ideas to get you there!

This was one of the most popular posts this year. I thought some of the newer readers might appreciate reading it:

Here's a question I received from a reader, and the answer follows:

Question:

"How are you doing? I read your blog everyday and it makes me soo encouraged.

Lately I haven't been able to chant much due to some or the other reason (even though I try hard to take out time)
and now after almost 4 days of not doing regular gongyo and daimoku, today I am sitting in my office feeling completely lost and low and negative and depressed.
Have been crying sitting at my seat. Like everyones shooting at my weaknesses and trying to let me down.
I know these are the devilish functions working, but I'm not able to gather up the courage to stand up and chant again.

Please share with me anything you like. I've never felt so low in life.
All of a sudden I see a problem everywhere, in everyone, in every aspect of my life be it relationship, work, health ..everything..

Thank you in advance. You are truly an inspiration for many people!!"

Dear friend! 
You are just out of rhythm, and you can so easily get back into it! Here are a few words of encouragement from my heart. First of all, whether you believe it or not we have all been there! We have all been immersed in times where everything around us is darkness and there seems to be no light no matter where you turn. It goes without saying that the sooner you can start doing gongyo twice a day, the sooner things will get better, and I AM SURE that things WILL GET BETTER! You have the ultimate tool for happiness...sometimes it gets very hard to pick it up and use it. I know. We all know! I hope this post helps! 

Here are 16 ideas and tips to pull you through:

1.
There are a few quotes I've embedded in my life: 

"Suffer what there is to suffer and enjoy what there is to enjoy, and continue chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo no matter what happens...then you will experience boundless joy from the law."
From Happiness in This World

Sometimes I interpret this as "It's all right to cry" and I stop resisting feeling bad and just allow myself to cry and release the feelings. 

Another is 
"Winter always turns to Spring"

And it does, doesn't it? Every single year! Sometimes it seems to take longer! But the seasons DO change! 

One of my favorite quotes from Daisaku Ikeda (from the book Learning from the writings. The Hope-Filled Teachings of Nichiren Daishonin. Page 277:

"Seen from the perspective of Buddhism, 
everything has profound meaning
There is no need whatsoever to vacillate between elation and despair at each turn of events. 
There is no such thing as a storm that will 
continue blowing and wreaking havoc without end. 
In the same way, there is no hardship that will continue forever. There are clear days and there are rainy days. If we are swayed by our environment, rejoicing one moment and despairing the next amid ever-changing circumstances, then we will not be able to accomplish a true revolution in our state of life.
The important thing is to always believe in the mystic law and to enter the powerful orbit of faith, practice and study. Entering the orbit - the orbit of human revolution and of  changing our karma - is the way to construct a life of good fortune and happiness that will endure throughout eternity. No matter what happens, we will enjoy the unerring protection of the Gohonzon. Instead of drawing conclusions about the world of faith from a superficial viewpoint, we need to calmly discern the true reality and significance of things and keep pressing forward. 
With the passage of time, it will definitely become clear that everything has unfolded in the best possible manner." 

2. 
When I feel despair ~
I write. I write all the sadness out. Sometimes I write to my Mom who, as some of you know, died almost 3 years ago. I just write what I am feeling and it makes me feel better. 

3. 
I take plenty of Vitamin D. For me, sometimes I just need more Vitamin D. 
Also drink a LOT of water! 

4. 

Encourage someone else! Give a stranger a Nam Myoho Renge Kyo card. Talk to someone you know about past benefits you've had. Doing this will remind you of how you've broken through in the past, and you'll gain more hope for the present. 

5.
Take a bath with salt in it...the more salt the better! 

6. 
Clean your Butsudan and altar area. The altar in your home is a reflection of your own life. When you treat it with respect, your environment and all the people in it treat you with respect. If you do not yet have a Gohonzon you can still set up an altar where you chant with offerings to your life...fruit, water, a plant, candles, and incense if you like. 

7. 
Call a true friend. And if you don't have one, put that on your chanting list as something you are chanting for...I did this. I have many true friends now, and chanted for friends for quite some time. 


8. 
As soon as you can, get back in front of the altar to chant. And don't be afraid to cry in front of the Gohonzon or while you are chanting. heck, for the first couple of years I cried all the time when I chanted. It was as if my life had to release years and years of  emotion. 

9. 
Move your body. Go for a walk! Get your energy and your blood flowing! 

10.
Study~
Read the Gosho or President Ikeda's writings! When you read these things - read them with your life. Choose a phrase or a passage and chant to realize its deeper meaning with your life. Chant to share the heart of Daisaku Ikeda. He has a heart beating with the fervent drum of Kosen Rufu. WHen your heart shares this reason it will push feelings of despair away! 

11. 
Ask someone to chant with you!
Get support! 

12. Change what you are saying to yourself in your mind. If your constant refrain is "Why me? How can this be happening to me again." it is important to just change that thought. Replace it with a more positive thought. You choose that thought. How about "Things are getting better and better for me, I just know it...sometimes it is hard to see, but I am definitely on my way!" or "Don't give up (insert your name) it's always darkest before the dawn!" 


13. Breathe deeply. When we are low we tend to breathe in a really shallow way, and it adds to our depression to breathe this way. Sit down and focus on your breathing. Fill your body with air. Picture that air as a bright light coming down from the top of your head...slowly moving down your body as your grey depressive mood seeps out your fingers and toes. Try this. It really does work! 


14. Smile! Go look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Look in your eyes and smile. Did you know it is almost impossible to be depressed when you are smiling?


15. Look up! That's right, look up. Tony Robbins, the inspirational success coach and mentor says that looking down has been proven to actually bring people down, while looking up has the opposite effect. 


16. When you are chanting - direct your thoughts like this:

"Gohonzon (my life itself!) Now is the time for me to rise from these emotions so I can show actual proof of the power of this law. NOW is the time for me to vanquish these feelings of hopelessness. I will NO LONGER allow these feelings to run my life. NOW I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY! I am a precious child of the Buddha, I will not stand for these feelings anymore. I vow to win in all aspects of my life. I vow to win!" 


All will be well. All will be well. All will be well. 
You will one day be encouraging others. And you will have sooooo much compassion!! 

I am thinking of you and chanting for you, and for all! 


4 comments:

  1. A BIG THANKYOU.
    and i really mean it. lots of love

    ReplyDelete
  2. How about putting up a card with these lines on your work table ?

    "Those who believe in the Lotus Sutra are as if in winter, but winter always turns to spring. Never, from ancient times on, has anyone heard or seen of winter turning back to autumn. Nor have we never heard of a believer in the Lotus Sutra who turned into an ordinary person."
    Winter Always Turns to Spring

    ReplyDelete
  3. thanks a lot for these nice inspiring articles.. i really appreciate.. very nice to read and serve as an inspiration, to strengthen our faith..

    ReplyDelete
  4. thanks a lot for these nice inspiring articles.. i really appreciate.. very nice to read and serve as an inspiration, to strengthen our faith..

    ReplyDelete