Why is it Sometimes so HARD to Chant? And How Can We Get Though These Times?

Let's face it, we all go through times when it is extremely difficult to chant. 
Sometimes the mirror of our lives, the Gohonzon and our daily act of chanting is just so hard. It is hard to see our lives. My own personal opinion is that when we feel this way, we are poised for a breakthrough. And when we can finally sit down chant with all our hearts we grow, we change, we evolve. 

I am coming out of such a time now. Last week's obstacle threw me off balance. I went for guidance, I went to Linda Johnson's speech, but every time I sat down to chant there was so much screaming going on in my head I could only chant a few moments. At times I could chant more, but it was so hard. The whole time I was chanting there was so much noise in my head about this obstacle. And it wasn't pretty. And I was berating myself and my life for even having this obstacle in my life. 

Last night when I talked to my dear friend Kate she said that not being able to chant at times is just natural and part of our practice. She said don't get mad at yourself, just do gongyo twice a day as always and even if you can only chant a few minutes, concentrate as much as you can. She also reminded me that I am facing some core issues in my life...I am dealing with important karma changing issues...this is a big one, a crucial moment. And I need to have respect for myself and my life and KNOW that I am going to show victory. When I met with Akema Bailey-Haynie the other day she said I am in the middle of the ocean, but I will get to the other shore. We all experience this don't we? We just have to keep swimming and not give up midway! 

After my conversation with Kate, this morning I was able to chant for 45 minutes without stopping, and with full concentration. 

We are not perfect. I am not perfect. We are all Buddhas at our Buddha coming out party, and we all have glitches. Even when it is hard to chant I stay connected, I do gongyo, I read experiences, I encourage as many people as I can...and I know that it will all click back in, and I'll get back into that groove when I'm chanting a lot, and the more I chant, the more I want to chant, and ZOOM I break through. 

We need to have patience with ourselves, take care to not get out of the orbit of faith, and remember that this is a life-long practice and keep going!