What you Focus on Increases

It is so easy to think of all the things we want to change in our lives. It is so easy to focus on what we don't want, rather than concentrating on all of the good things, in our lives and in ourselves. I received some positive feedback this week about one of the blogs postings. 

A reader wrote me to tell me that she'd made a sign for her Butsudan that says: 

What you focus on increases. 

It is true. 

When I give my talk "Change Your Words, Change Your Life" I begin by telling this story:
 

Eli's Story

There once was a man named Eli who could not stand his wife Elsie….everything she did drove him crazy. He decided to go to his Rabbi for advice. 

This is what the Rabbi said to him:

"I understand your wife makes you miserable, yes?

You are probably wanting to make her suffer just as she has made you suffer, yes? 

Here is an idea for you. For one year I want you to only tell her all the things she is doing right. I want you to constantly praise her and shower her with good words and thanks. Then, when you tell her at the end of the year that you want to divorce her she will suffer greatly. What do you think of this plan?"

And the man was thrilled – finally – 

he could get his wife back for all the suffering she had inflicted on him!

He set off to begin his year. 

He faithfully carried out his plan of praise. 

The next morning, he greeted Elsie warmly, telling her he felt himself a lucky man to be married to her. 

She was quite surprised, and a little suspicious. She wondered what he wanted that he was being so nice to her. That day, at lunch he complimented her on her fine cooking, and she gave him a questioning look. 

That night as they were about to retire, he hugged her 

and told her he loved her and she started to cry. 

Gradually, she began to trust him, and she became used to his new behavior, and it began to open up new behaviors in her as well…she started looking for more ways to make him happy. 

One year later the Rabbi encountered Eli and asked him, 

“So, are you ready to divorce your wife?”

Eli replied: “Divorce my wife, are you crazy? My wonderful Elsie is the light of my life, my reason for living - my wonderful Elsie!!! How could you even say such a thing?”

My goodness what happened? 

What we focus on increases. 

He focused on what Elsie was doing right, and the things that he liked, and they expanded and grew. He used his words to create the life he wanted and you can too. 

The power of focusing on what is RIGHT in your life creates results. Chanting about the things that are going right, and chanting in appreciation brings more reasons to be appreciative into your life. What you focus on increases. Give it a try.