Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Raising children to have faith in the power of their lives

Aaron and Ben - Best friends and brothers
The fish we were watching last night at the restaurant. 

We've been having a blast this holiday week spending time together. Aaron is growing his beard to raise money for prostate cancer research. I called him Paul Bunyan last night just for fun.  

I got a few questions about how I raised my boys as Buddhists. 

I think the most important thing I do is strive to be inspiring to my boys. I want to show them that practicing buddhism can lead to a happy and fulfilling life. They have seen me unhappy, and they have watched me determine to change. They've seen me shed 70 pounds. They've watched me in every job I've had, watched as I've greeted every adversity as a challenge and produced great results. They have seen me rise out of heartbreak and seen me become happy again. It's very important to me to inspire them with my actions, words, and with my life itself. 

And I always chant for them to be happy and to fulfill their mission for Kosen Rufu. If they didn't have a mission for Kosen Rufu they would not have been born to me. And I have tried not to push them. Oh sure, there were times I begged them to come to a big meeting, and times I lured them with food. But I always tried not to push them too hard. And in the times that they weren't chanting, or couldn't chant, or were too tired to chant I followed President Ikeda's guidance and said "That's okay sweetie, you don't have to worry, I'm chanting for you twice as hard today." And the next time I would invite them to chant they would gladly join me. 

I have been behind the scenes chanting and chanting for their happiness. 

And I always speak encouraging words to them. I NEVER put them down. I say "I trust you. I know that you have wisdom and that your life always knows what is best for you. I know you will be fine. I'm not worried about you. I am so proud of you."

And of course, when they want to talk I do my best to listen with a full heart and with no judgement. I may steer them, but don't have a heavy hand. 

Those are some of the key aspects I've found to raising Buddha Boys. 

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